Yeah, so I'm a member of the LGBTQ community, and something I've noticed about fiction involving gay men when written by non LGBTQ people is how they often replicate quite stereotypical or even toxic heteronormative dynamics. I think this is especially common in slash fiction and yaoi adjacent stuff. But basically, pairings often end up being a question of a dominant and submissive. One will have a bunch of traditional masculine traits, the other will have a bunch of traditional feminine traits, and they will basically fall into traditional gender role divisions, except they're both male. 

Now my lived experience of pretty much every relationship I've ever had, has been nothing like that. There are a lot ways I would conform to being the 'dominant' and 'masculine' stereotype, but there are equally a lot of ways in which I don't conform to that. And I would say the same is true for most (if not all) of the gay men I know, they all exist on spectrum of masculine and feminine traits and behaviours, not as a binary. 

On the subject of playing POC characters, its something I have done, but generally not in a modern or contemporary setting. Playing a POC in fantastic or speculative situation is very different, because obviously you can abstract away from real world racial dynamics and reinvent them as you please. I won't say I would never play a POC character in a modern setting, I just don't feel comfortable in my ability to write one well as of this point in time. 

With female characters, I do write them on a semi-regular basis, but its something I've deliberately tried to research and improve over these last few years. I did this because I thought it was a weak point in my writing that I wanted to improve upon, and you can't improve without practice. Maybe I'll do the same with writing POC characters at some point.