[color=00aeef][i]Self-preservation? Is that really why I did it?[/i][/color] Elise thought to herself thinking how cold that sounded, selfish almost that the only reason she had saved him was because of the need to preserve her own life. It was partly true, but yet did she believe it fully that her sole purpose to save him was for that. Of course, she had admitted it and she hated that she had, but yet there seemed to be something more to it that even she was yet to admit to herself. [color=00aeef][i]Should I say thank you? It seems polite[/i][/color]. Pushing a lock of her loose hair behind her ear she glanced to him again, [color=00aeef][b]“Thank you.”[/b][/color] Politely nodding alongside it as she considered his phrase for better or worse, it seemed comically as that was part of the usual wedding vows, but it was fitting. They were stuck with one another for better or worse as he so put it. [color=00aeef][i]Do I look bad? Is he insinuating that I haven’t been resting? Does he know?[/i][/color] She couldn’t help but worry for a moment that he somehow knew that she had not been doing well since being locked away in her tower, though as she thought about it her ladies in waiting would have reported anything to him. That and she figured he would have noticed the dark circles under her eyes from the many sleepless nights here, something she was trying to get accustomed too. Rising to her feet she felt unsteady inside, but she kept composure as if nothing was wrong, [color=00aeef][b]“Farewell.”[/b][/color] Speaking on polite terms as she left the chambers to return to her rooms keeping up appearances with her head held high as she paced back to her room not letting on to anyone that she was anything but fine. ----- Sending everyone away from her room as she returned, she allowed everything to sink in, she couldn’t hold it anymore as the unsettled stomach and bile she felt overpowered her, and she rushed to the adorning bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach. Heaving as her skin clammed up, she dropped the façade she had put on whilst around the others as the fear washed over her with the sight of the dead body now imprinted on her mind forcing her to compare it against her younger brothers. Athos. A repressed memory that she never thought would resurface. Feeling her arms tremble as she knelt against the cool wall Elise let out a shaky breath wiping her brow letting out all the emotions now she was safely behind closed doors and had sent her ladies away. Pulling her knees up to her chest she wrapped her arms around her legs burying her head into her knees as she let the wave of sickness pass her, not daring to move just yet knowing she was quite unsteady. Although she had her freedom to roam, she didn’t feel like leaving her room anymore, the idea of being trapped inside feeling like a much safer option even though she hated being caged. [color=00aeef][i]Weak. I’m so weak[/i][/color]. Reprimanding herself for the mess she was currently in, barely rested and hurling her guts at the sight of his death? [color=00aeef][i]Pathetic. [/i][/color] Closing her eyes, she took a few minutes to herself letting the silence of her room envelope her, darkness becoming her friend as she tried to push back the memories of her younger brother and the brutal scene before her. It was as if she could still feel the blood on her fingertips and they were forever stained with his blood as she remembered how she tried to shake him awake, everyone was just standing around him and not helping. All of them silently watching her as she cried at them to help him. [color=00aeef][i]Why now. Why did I have to remember this now, surrounded by enemies[/i][/color]. Elise knew that her servants reported on her movements and she was certain that by now they all knew of her sleeping patterns, her distress. Maybe even the nightmares she had tried to conceal, and she knew they would come back tonight, she knew it would be a mix of her dead brother and the poisoned server. Curling her hand into a fist angered by the fact they all knew about her private affairs. “Your highness.” Hearing the knock at the door she recognised it to be Floras voice one of her ladies in waiting that Ozragad had assigned to her she cringed not ready to face anyone let alone her ladies that spied on her day in and out. “Is everything okay?” [color=00aeef][b]“Fine. I’m fine.”[/b][/color] Her hoarse voice spoke up from her position on the bathroom floor hoping that Flora would just leave her be and not probe anymore. Elise could sense the hesitation, the woman knew the lies that spewed from her mouth, but she couldn’t question it if she had stated she was fine. “Forgive the intrusion, but I have had the bed heated and a fresh cup of hot tea placed at your bedside. It should help you rest.” Flora spoke softly through the door listening out for any movement, but she didn’t catch it, or a response to what she had done. Turning on her heel she bid the Princess a farewell giving her space to rest, whispers had already spread like wildfire about the events of this morning and most if not, all people knew about the poison laced cup. It was only when Elise had heard the closing of the door did, she pick herself up from the floor and move into her room seeing the fresh cup of tea as expected. Sighing she hated to do it, but maybe rest was good for now. Not even bothering to change from her simple dress she slipped beneath the covers feeling the inviting warmth as she closed her eyes, not even daring to drink the tea because of what had happened earlier she closed her eyes trying to find some inner peace to allow her to sleep already dreading the idea of nightmares disturbing her.