Once he had crawled in beside her, she tucked her head under his chin and closed her eyes, listening to the soothing vibrations his voice made as it rumbled in his chest. The comfort he provided made it easier to imagine going to sleep and waking up the next morning as if everything that transpired was nothing more than a bad dream. Prescription drugs had been a source of addiction for longer than she could remember, but now she could appreciate why it was not just the 'lower class' citizens that fell prey to their allure. Peasants had lives of hardship, economic turmoil, and physical labor, be it through their profession or because they lacked servants to perform tasks for them that the aristocrats were able to avoid, such as domestic chores. On the other hand, the nobility had intense social pressure, emotional stifling, and ruthless competition in every facet of their life that meant the duress broke more than would ever admit it. They turned to drugs more than their less financially blessed peers for escapism and as a coping strategy. Solae was not buckling under the weight of her responsibilities, yet she couldn't discount that there was an odd chemical elation, one that was carried higher with the gentle pressure of Rene's arms around her waist.

"My parents weren't sure what to do with me either," she sighed as she listened intently to his description of his father. She was under no delusion that he would want to be her father, given how distant Rene made him out to be, she hoped they would be able to have some manner of familial relationship. "They loved me in their own way, just like it sounds like yours loves you." The duchess wasn't sure if she was reassuring him or herself with her commentary, but didn't want to think about it. Her parents had been involved, albeit critical, and had given her attention than many of her peers. What she had realized during their travels, though, was it wasn't the soft, gentle, understanding, and compassionate sort of love that others experienced. What she wanted for any children she had in the future- and she [i]would[/i] have them, with or without the Empress's blessing- was to be a parent who really dedicated themselves to being that pillar of support and availability children of scions so often needed.

Quietly she wondered what it must have been like to be an admiral during the reign of the previous emperor. No one in her family discussed him much, but what she had gleaned, the late marquis and marquise were largely left alone because they were horribly eccentric, divested from imperial politics, and lacked any ambition for achieving a greater title. Because they were not threatening, having no military background or strong attachments, they were allowed to conduct their lives as they wished so long as they didn't interfere with his plans. More than one lord and lady had taken the approach of trying to be as unnoticeable as possible.

"It sounds like he cares more about how someone conducts themselves than who or what they are," she said, trying to stifle a yawn and failing, "since it sounds like he picked your mother on criteria than 'best political match.'" Whether it was romantic love, shared values, admiration of her character, or some other set of standards she couldn't suss out. Regardless, it bode well for her introduction to him at a later date. Her lineage was almost impeccable, but there was no denying that a marine and a duchess were not ideal, and it was important to her that she had Alric's support as Rene's last immediate family member other than an infant half-sister. It was also less likely her radically progressive philosophies would rattle him as much as some of the diehard, cold, calculating nobles that treated every union as a business transaction where no one could diverge from rigid confines of behavior.

Suddenly it occurred to her how close Rene's father was to the empress. Seeing the empress over the relay had been such a shock that it hadn't occurred to her to prod about why the Du Quentain patriarch was there, and the only other person present. There had been too many other pressing matters for her to question the coincidence. Now that she heard he had been close to her since the empress was a young girl, there were subconscious thoughts clicking into place, as pieces of the puzzle gravitated towards each other in a more coherent pattern than days or weeks ago.

Unfortunately, she wasn't quite coherent enough to make all the brilliant deductions she would normally; instead, she let herself be gripped by irrational concern over her fiance's affections. Proximity to the empress made her paranoid that Alric would prefer the imperial figure to Rene's actual lover, and that preference and influence might bleed over, resulting in their return to Capella being punctuated by unfavorable comparisons. Of course, if she was thinking clearly she would know that even if the empress fancied the marine, his past, coupled with his current enlistment, would make him an ineligible partner= but Solae wasn't really thinking all that clearly. She pressed her lips together in agitation at her inner musings briefly as she wound herself up. Just as quickly as the paranoia appeared, however, it disappeared.

"It sounds like he's close to the empress," she finally mused in a somewhat sulky tone. "That has to make some people jealous," she continued as if she never had fleeting fits of envy, like any other human being. "I bet some people would like to be in his place, trusted like he is..." After drifting off, she exhaled slowly, and subconscious conclusions were revealed when a small bit of mental fog parted. "If he cares about family, hurting you would hurt him, right? Do you think someone like that did it? Made you look like a killer to drive your father and the empress apart, tarnish your name, and hurt him?" Hazy recollections were that he said something once about being in high standing with her highness, which made her grumble as she wound her fingers into his shirt. "Just remember when we get back to Capella that I believed you were innocent [i]first[/i]," she commented to make sure she staked her claim clearly.