I am not enjoying this story. I don't know why. I do know that is if I was reading this story I would put it down and not pick it back up. I don't like Zarah. I'm not too fond of Lyra. In fact, right now the only character I like is Headman Kilpatrick and he is not meant to be a main character. 

So let me be clear. You are a decent role-playing partner. I would still like to end this story.