Ashley locked the door to the bath and sighed. Finally, something resembling privacy. Although... her newfound solitude left her feeling somehow... unsatisfied. Why, though? Propping up her swords in a handy location near the bath, the emotionally stunted dark mage tried to reason with the restless feeling in her heart as she slowly removed her garments one by one.

Did she... want company? No—even if she were suddenly struck with the odd desire to share a bath with someone—something she'd never done before, nor did she want to try—she'd obviously have invited Aleria first. Actually, why [i]did[/i] she drag Mikhail along, anyway? Even if it was spur of the moment, it would have been easier to attach herself to Tonka, and going to a hotel with her would have been less awkward. Still, out of everyone in the group, Mikhail was most worthy of her rarely-given trust. It wasn't as though she expected a man like him to make a move on her. Did she... actually [i]want[/i] him to make a move? No, surely she didn't. It wasn't as though she intended to bed a man she had no intention of marrying. Not that she wouldn't marry him, if she could—like, if he asked her—but there was no way she was going to ask [i]him[/i]. She was beneath him, and that would be inappropriate—well, it was a bit too late to worry about propriety—but there was certainly, absolutely no way he would ever ask [i]her[/i], even if he didn't care about the difference in their social status—for a multitude of reasons Ashley promised herself she wouldn't dwell on anymore.

Yet, no matter how much she didn't want to dwell on it, one of those reasons was now staring right at her from the mirror next to the bath. It stared at Ashley with the narrowed, tired eyes of a caffeine addict. Stripped of her rank as a knight captain, her sorcerer's garb, and the semi-formal men's clothing she wore underneath, she was now both undeniably a woman, and one who looked almost ten years younger—and she hated it. She was shorter even than most women—not helped by the fact that she refused to wear heels. Bandages covered her forearms, calves, and "inadequate" bust, concealing scars which, had she been born a man, she figured she could wear proudly—but on a woman, she thought they were unsightly. Those muscles, though modest enough for a lady knight, would be more fitting on a man, too, she concluded. [color=#ff39d6][i]No feminine charm whatsoever,[/i][/color] she thought bitterly, reminiscing on the few noblemen who had attempted to court her over the nearly three years she'd been a knight. [color=#ff39d6][i]This immature body... but once they learn that I'm 28 and self-sufficient, they lose interest! Scum like them should just jump off a cliff, right into a trash fire![/i][/color] Ashley splashed a handful of water onto the mirror, distorting the image. She sighed again, and began unwrapping her bandages. She needed to focus on the task at hand, not wallow in her regrets and bitterness. Ashley inhaled sharply as she stuck her bare legs into the bath. The pain from her scars wasn't unbearable, but it was enough discomfort to serve as a reminder of her past mistakes. She takes a moment to allow the pain to subside before sitting down. As she did, she suddenly realized why she felt so unsatisfied by Mikhail's underwhelming reactions to her antics—unlike the other men in her life, she couldn't place him.

Noble, commoner. Man, woman. Teacher, student. Knight, civilian. Leader, subordinate. Ashley's mother had ingrained in her the need to follow particular social conducts around different types of people. Ashley only thrived in social situations with people she could categorize, and with roles she could play—but Mikhail defied any kind of expectations she could use to find out what "script" she should use when interacting with him. He was not a typical noble, nor a typical man—and though he was still a squire, he didn't act like a typical knight, either. At a loss for how to handle him, she'd just defaulted to saying whatever came to her mind, and doing whatever she felt like doing. No matter what she said or did, though, Mikhail seemed to just blithely accept it. What was he really thinking, underneath all that indifference? Was Mikhail the kind of man who could accept her faults? Or did he really not care at all? No, rather, why should he care? It's true that she felt pretty close to him lately, but they'd hardly said a word to each other before the last three days. Sure, a detail-oriented dark mage like her could learn a lot about a person from very few interactions—such skill was a tool of the trade—but Mikhail was a pretty ordinary guy. He barely knew her at all, and had no real motive to get to know her more. He also vowed to protect everyone, not just her. She really did just kind of casually ignore that part, didn't she?

How... depressing.

Ashley rubs her temples furiously with her palms. [color=#ff39d6][i]You're just being selfish. You haven't taken his feelings into account even once. You're flirting with him, even though you know it'd never work, and you're getting disappointed when you don't get something you never asked for, and wouldn't accept even if he was unreasonable enough to offer it. You ridiculous mess of a woman. Go find a hole to crawl into and die of embarrassment already.[/i][/color]

Dunking her head into the bath, she lets out a silent scream of self-directed frustration before begrudgingly bringing herself back to a sitting position so she could breathe again. [color=ff39d6][i]Why do I need coffee and a bath to get rid of the cobwebs in my brain, so I can think through such simple problems? I must have the emotional awareness of a spider.[/i][/color]

Looking around the room for something to distract herself from how pathetic she felt, her uninterested gaze glanced from perfume to perfume before turning full circle back to the corner where she had propped up her sword, which she had dueled Kavius with—and another sword, which she had kept concealed and shown to no one. [color=#ff39d6][i]My secret weapon. I wonder what kind of face that worrywart would make if he knew I'd spent most of my last bonus on a cursed sword,[/i][/color] Ashley thought, smirking as she imagined Lord Clive trying to lecture her about something she understood better than he did. Rather than the Devil Sword, she had opted to show Clive the other thing she'd bought: a Prayer Ring. She'd bought it early, expecting that she'd have to offset the lack of support from her team of combat medics somehow, but with Aleria coming along, it would hopefully be a redundant measure.

Suddenly, she remembered something about Prayer Rings. They were commonly bought by love-struck maidens, and gifted to gallant knights on their way to the battlefield, as a promise to be reunited. Now, she found herself wondering what kind of message Clive must have thought she'd been trying to convey, buying her own ring and showing it to him. Suddenly, Ashley's head found itself submerged in the bath again.

Eventually, Ashley would realize that she'd been clean some time ago, and begin the slow and tedious process of drying herself with a towel, re-wrapping nearly her entire body in clean bandages, and putting her clothes back on over those bandages without disturbing them too much. The arduous process was a small price to pay for an extra layer of defense against the elements, the cut-purse's knife, and most importantly of all, the prying eyes of the curious. She would show her body to no one—but her shameful scars, above all, must remain a secret—even from the healers, if such a thing were conceivable.

Ashley emerged from the door to the bath, looking as sharp as she did on the day of departure—sans her cape and arm band, which she had left on the boat when she'd stumbled out of bed. [color=ff39d6]"All right, your turn,"[/color] she says to Mikhail, tying her hair up. Now with her mild bedhead sorted, she looked... a bit like a butler. It was kind of amusing how removing one piece of clothing could have such an effect. [color=ff39d6]"Is there something on my face?"[/color] Ashley said sternly, having seemingly fully returned to "lady knight" mode. [color=ff39d6]"Get a move on. If you hadn't noticed, you stink too."[/color]