It's quite all right. The beauty of (false) Paleblood Hunters is that the memory loss from metamorphosis allows them to be as fleshed out as you want them to be; they may remember a lot and/or be from Yharnam, or they may remember nothing and be from a foreign land, essentially leaving them as much of a blank slate as the player character from the game.

There's nothing in particular that stands out as problematic, so the character is accepted. That said, would you mind if I offered a little constructive criticism? It's okay if you would prefer that I keep it to myself.