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[sub][right][@Obscene Symphony][/right][/sub] 

Clarissa stormed her way back onto the crowded carriage, her face burning red with embarrassment and fury. She wasn't one of his distractions and flings to play with, to indulge himself with for an evening and then move onto the next sparkly thing that caught his eye. The shameless manner in which he conducted himself always grated on her nerves and she made no secret of it but directing it at her so crudely made her wish she cared less for him and his well being. And yes, maybe she'd spent a summer they'd rarely seen each other indulging in rose tinted day dreams of their lives together but they'd quickly shattered on their next meeting. They lived worlds apart, viewed their responsibilities in drastically opposite lights, and found shelter from the cruelty of fate in absurdly different comforts. He was a dear friend and he always would be but if he made one more grotesque comment like that, she really would run him through. 

In a friendly manner, of course.

Her irritation bled away quickly enough as the Unit embarked for the battlefield. She'd been lucky to escape any need for her direct involvement in these matters before today. Despite the constant threat on the Alliance/Almyran border of their territory, it fell on the Goneril family to defend the mountains and so she found herself reading the reports from the border with a sense of detachment, everything reduced to numbers and positions and locations. The names rarely weighed more than any of the other information and it was all too easy to forget who struggled behind the endless pages of logistics. She doubted she’d ever read House Goneril’s reports with the same detachment now. 

The thought brought with it a sharp edge of unease and she folded her hands together as she bowed her head. She wrapped herself in prayer the rest of the way. A prayer for those risking themselves for this rescue, a prayer for those terrified beneath the yoke of bandits, a prayer for those who were already lost to the senseless violence. Prayer soothed her and she found solace in knowing that the choice she made would allow her to be a conduit for seeing her prayers, her hopes and wishes, come true today. 

Michail’s discussion drew her back into the moment and she listened carefully as the Knight discussed their plan. A brief flash of guilt ran through her when she heard Isolde would be on the front line. After all, Clarissa did just convince the girl to join them and immediately Michail confirmed the fears Isolde voiced but the guilt was quickly dismissed. Everyone knew the danger going in, Michail was kind enough to detail some of the horrors they’d experience, but Isolde decided to come along despite that. Still, it didn’t mean she wouldn’t worry about the soft spoken girl. 

Clarissa sat up straighter as Michail detailed her role in the battle to come and the contemplative frown transformed into a confident grin, the same excited, confident determination sweeping the nerves that threatened to swallow her resolve away in a heartbeat.. Acting as the primary support for the Unit for their first confrontation? Clarissa wouldn’t have it any different. If there was one thing she was, it was dependable and as new as this experience would be, she would never let anyone relying on her down. [color=FF650E]“So long as I draw breath, no one here will falter or fall, Goddess as my witness.”[/color] Clarissa vowed.

She jolted forward as the carriage came to a jarring halt but the words of displeasure died on her tongue as the chaos of the village engulfed them. She watched with wide eyes as villagers wept and screamed and begged for their lives. Auberon’s commands went ignored, her name not there to stir her from her stupor, as she processed the pain and the suffering. She stood to follow the forward team but she found a familiar hand gripping her with an unfamiliar grip. She looked at Jorah, where he’d latched on to her in such away that she couldn’t escape even if she’d tried. She turned to make demands but when she met her best friend’s gaze, she swallowed her complaints at the seriousness of his face and met it with like solemnity. [color=FFAB66]“Don't stray too far from me, okay?”[/color]

[color=FF650E]“I wouldn’t dream of it, Jorah.”[/color] She promised, laying her hand over his and squeezing briefly. She glanced back outside the carriage. The world around them was in shambles and the chaos was panic and pain and if she felt awful at the sight, Jorah must be feeling ten times worse. [color=FF650E]“And if all this gets to be too much, tell me. Don’t try to play the hero.”[/color]

[color=FFAB66]“[i]Hero[/i], wouldn't Duke Riegan love that,”[/color] Jorah answered quietly, facetious but visibly relieved. Her reply seemed to satisfy him, though no sooner did the words leave his mouth than his trademark grin returned. 

[color=FFAB66]“Nah, dinners with Duke Edmund will get mighty awkward if he hears I let his daughter get shot,”[/color] he added wryly, finally releasing her.

Clarissa patted his hand as a chuckle escaped at his comment and she stepped out of the carriage just in time to watch Auberon launched himself at the nearest combatant with sickening enthusiasm. The swiftness with which he dove into the fray, no hesitation in neither stance nor swing, felt like a slap to the face. No words were exchanged, no hand proffered nor offer made. The heights of civility, reason, and morality buckled in the face of suffering and distress apparently. Did fighting wickedness with wickedness truly help those who’d been hurt? It wasn’t possible that was true and even in the face that these violent creatures refused to turn to their light, wasn’t it their duty to try and bring them back into the light? She addressed their attackers, righteous condemnation dripping off every word. 

[color=FF650E]“Harken unto me, ye sinners who still yet stand amidst the fetid carcass of their sin. In your darkness and depravity have you struck a blow against the Goddess and her children, against light and life that could not defend itself. You have turned from the path of righteousness with the indignant fury of beasts and monsters in the most feral of ways and now slake your avarice with the blood of innocents. Your actions are despicable and loathsome and the Goddess stands ready to render judgement for your wicked deeds.”[/color] Clarissa gestured to Auberon and his victim. Her tone softened, still loud enough to carry across the field but the fires of fury dwindling into a warm compassion instead. 

[color=FF650E]“But here and now, you stand as the masters of your own reckoning. I cannot claim to know nor understand the desperation or despair that has led you here to this day and to this atrocity, but I do know you are not monsters nor beasts but men and women the same as us, children of a Goddess who sees the endless cycle of bloodshed and weeps.”[/color] Clarissa swept her hand in front of her, across the devastation of the village. [color=FF650E]“I implore you to look at what you’ve done and see not the rubble of unknown homes, hear not the wails and laments of distant strangers, but rather those of your own blood. Your parents, your brothers and sisters, your children, your friends―each and every one crying for help as their homes are burned to the ground, their flesh melted from their skin, their lives destroyed and in ruins by impassive kin. See the consequences of your actions as if they were committed upon you and your loved ones and ask yourself if you can still stand by your actions today.”[/color] Clarissa took that moment to take a breath, composing herself as she lost herself in the image of her own family in a village, dying because of the greed and hubris of man. It took more out of her that she cared to admit to continue but who was she if she didn’t make the effort among a dozen who didn’t? 

[color=FF650E]“If you find yourself embroiled in waves of disgust and revulsion, then you are not lost. You stand here today at a crossroads, facing a decision for the future of your soul. Stand firm, here against those whose purpose is righteous and resolve divine, and find yourself shattered like glass in a hurricane or cast aside your weapons and repent so you may find an opportunity for atonement in the courts of man. Your path until now has been dark and painful and terrifying but today you have an opportunity to step back into the light, back into the arms of a forgiving Goddess, so that you may make yourself a life in her service. It is the simplest choice to make, I beg you you; cast aside your weapons, end the bloodshed, and forge yourself anew in the image of light and good and love.”[/color]