[hider=Last Time on the Tonta Show]Tonta made the massive flying dragons known as the drakhorey! They started eating monsters and mortals wantonly! She made it so souls will only ever speak in hushed whispers! She ate a drakhorey and made a great mountain-statue out of his upper body! She made phoenixes! Whatever will she do next the tonta!?[/hider]
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[img]https://i.imgur.com/xOyB9Zp.png[/img][h2][b][color=fff79a]
T O N T A[/color][/b][/h2]
[i]In which a goddess is told to be nice, saves the animal kingdom, and actually fails at saving the animal kingdom[/i]

[img]https://web.archive.org/web/20091027142715im_/http://geocities.com/artists_tzora/images/flowerbar.gif[/img][/centre]

After she'd left the Pillar of Baknul-Who-Yet-Lives behind her Tonta got to observing the world. She walked for a long while, now whistling a tune and now humming to herself as the world disintegrated all around her. She noted the animals fleeing hither and thither, their souls screaming (in whispers, mind you) for her to save them. Tonta waved at the insufferable sods and walked right on by.

"Lady, what's your problem?" Tonta froze, frowned, and turned towards the voice. It was one of those souls, literally indistinguishable from any of the million others flowing to wherever they were flowing.

"You... you tawkin to me?" She drawled, turning more completely towards the featureless floating orb, "you tawkin to [i]me[/i]? 'Cause I don't see nobody else round here..." she paused for a few tense moments, "who [i]the fuck[/i] do you think you're tawkin to?"

"Well yeah, I'm talking to you. Do you see any other ladies round here?" The floating soul said.

"You make a good point fella," Tonta laughed, leaning on her stick as all tension suddenly dissipated, "you're pretty loud for a soul y'know, I could have sworn I told you all to [i]shut the fuck up[/i]." The smile was gone from her face and her eyes were cold and hard.

"You wouldn't have heard me if you didn't want to hear me, lady. Now since you obviously want to hear from me, shall I ask you something? A small favour."

"Yeah, sure buddy. I have some time to kill." She fiddled with one of her nails absent-mindedly.

"You see all these here animals running hither and thither? Trying to escape death and hang on to life?" Tonta looked around and nodded at the soul's words. "Well, why don't you save them?"

Tonta pursed her lips and kissed her teeth, before releasing a sigh. "Oh, I don't know. I'm not really feeling that right now y'know? You get me? You feel me?"

"I get you I get you - but what if that doesn't matter right now, hmm? What if you just need to get over whatever it is you're feeling right now and doing what needs to be done?"

"Yeah, well, I don't know if that sort of thinking is for everybody. And who says this saving animals business [i]needs[/i] to be done anyway? Look at them - one moment they're alive in that bag of flesh, and the next they're alive but like you. This death business is just a continuation of life by other means, they're just dumb shits who don't realise it. If they just accepted death without all this screaming then they get to keep living without any worries!"

"You know what, I don't even disagree with you." The soul said. "I'm all for dying - in fact, I look forward to whatever's coming next - but look, not everyone is ready for that, and it would be an act of kindness from you to save them and also an opportunity for you to teach them how to better [i]accept death[/i]."

Tonta blinked. "Buddy, like, why the fuck would I teach them that? I have better things to do like. I dunno. Like walking and shit."

"Well, I think you'd actually enjoy being nice. You know, it would be an interesting experience." The soul suggested.

"Hmmmmmm," Tonta hummed, her brows furrowing in doubt, "you don't know me fella, I [i]definitely[/i] wouldn't enjoy that."

The soul's response was swift. "Well, you won't know until you give it a shot! Plus, you want to leave a mark of your presence on the world no? A great and mighty goddess like you!"

"Goddess!? Me?" Her face contorted in surprise. "Seriously?" She smiled. "What does it mean though?"

"It means that you are the most powerful thing in the world, that's what it means my lady." The soul's words seemed to please Tonta immensely.

"Oh, but you [i]do[/i] know how to flatter a lady, and you're quite wise for a featureless, boring blob. Okay then, let's give this saving business a shot then! Come on!" And with that, she grabbed the wise blob and went skipping a few steps before exploding into a hundred thousand bits of pollen that went flying across the breaking world.

She didn't quite know for how long she flew, but as she picked up more and more creatures crying out to be saved the hurricane of flying wildlife became rather hard to miss. I guess you know the world is coming to an end when you see a hurricane of flying wildlife.

Now at some point during that hurricane's existence, perhaps in the interlude between the destruction of Galbar and the coming of the Shard, Tonta managed to forget to keep all the different animals separate and intact, and so when she finally came to settle them down on the Shard she found that many of the creatures had rather unfortunately... agglutinated.

"Well, I guess [url=https://us.v-cdn.net/5018289/uploads/editor/dn/2n3dmxvbzbb0.jpeg]you're[/url] cute." Tonta murmured as she rummaged through the strange creatures she had not quite managed to save. "Oh, you want to be called a grobin? I guess you're grabbin that name eh? Eh? Yeah, well, fuck you too you ugly fuck. Never liked you anyway." And so the little grobins made of the shard a home.

She reached into the tempestuous mess and- "Yowch! WHAT THE FUCK, LET GO LET GO YOU FUCKING MONSTER!" And so the [url=https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/535adf45e4b0cd207ffc69c5/1587490846324-02Y30Y4XDU04FZV1B0TY/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kNrW7I8Je5KP7Pp7-44PntZZw-zPPgdn4jUwVcJE1ZvWEtT5uBSRWt4vQZAgTJucoTqqXjS3CfNDSuuf31e0tVFtOi0AdruPufFbltirWDdLeSYWEsjX8bA2C4iOnqTRtbrMwH7oFr-bMJXRGzdAYck/sharkcatorigin-brynnmetheney.jpeg?format=500w]cark[/url], that strange melding of cat and shark, was flung into the world. More carefully Tonta reached once more into the living soup.

"You really messed up you know." The wise blob said for the hundredth time.

"Yeah, well, this was your idea fucktard. HeY tOnTa, wHy dOn'T yOu bE nIiCe?" She mocked as yet another strange creature emerged, [url=https://monsterminions.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/plate-40_phororhacos.jpg?w=700&h=]a giant bipedal bird[/url] that did not look nice in the slightest.

"Now that's quite the terror bird." The wise blob intoned. And thus was the [url=https://4.bp.blogspot.com/--bipZ22oPe4/UDKHh-JmGpI/AAAAAAAABOY/mqKatOA-b9g/s1600/Phorusrhacos.jpg]terror bird[/url] loosed upon the shard. "What was THAT a combination of?"

"Don't ask me, wiseguy." Tonta muttered as she pulled out the next creature from the soupy mess. "Ew. EW. EW EW EW EW! What the flying fuck, what the hell man, why?!" In her hands was some disgusting [url=https://talenthouse-res.cloudinary.com/image/upload/c_limit,f_auto,fl_progressive,h_2048,w_2048/v1449305084/user-568814/profile/rtrujyvjweakktqfs2ip.jpg]slug-deer[/url].

"Well, it's cute... in its own way." The wise blob said. Tonta gave it a dirty glare as she released the slugdeer and got to peeling her skin off to cleanse it of the creature's slime. Once her skin had regenerated, she pulled out truly enormous camelid megafauna, which she dubbed the [url=https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2013/03/05/18/pg-24-camels-pa.jpg?width=982&height=726&auto=webp&quality=75]snow camel[/url], and sent it to populate the cold southern shard. Next came a giant flying lizard creature, which asked to be named the [url=https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/826923862235021364/832586983289258004/christophe-young-62.jpg]flying axolotl[/url] and would make its home across the warmer climes of the shard. Then came [url=https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/826923862235021364/832587052645351474/traveler_by_gaudibuendia_d8p0p6j-fullview.jpg]gigantic moths[/url], followed by [url=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/66/b6/19/66b619775b539e473d77e1a73ab0eedf.jpg]long-horned bisons[/url] to join the snow camels in the south, followed by giant [url=https://cdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/006/998/022/large/gloria-ocete-pangolin-montura.jpg?1502898063]pangolins[/url] and [url=https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/826923862235021364/833544648823013376/fddef1f060eba96a85a426a9c6a74aa6.jpg]markhors[/url]. The wise blob was pretty impressed, but Tonta looked into the soup and saw that it was far from finished and plopped onto her back.

"Argh, I'm tired, when will it be done?" She had no sooner said that when [url=https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-73e8d50b2d5e773c16984ff5aa14c595]giant lizards[/url] clambered out of the soup and went lumbering onto the shard. "Hey, those look like that delicious drakhorey. Mmmm." [url=https://i.pinimg.com/originals/23/db/de/23dbde53f0c13dbb2af5bdef6e593c1a.jpg]Giant elks[/url] went in the wake of the lizards, and [url=http://www.douglasfossils.com/site%20photos/multikill_pics/arch_bite06.jpg]hellish pigs[/url] went screeching after the elk and caused them to scatter across the shard. After them emerged a confusing [url=https://ivanbelikov.com/images/peryton/peryton.jpg]amalgamation of deer and eagle[/url] that asked to be called a [url=https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ee/54/36/ee5436453686b4f0444886fab451a6be.jpg]peryton[/url].

But the strangest were yet to come. When Tonta next reached into the soup her hands came up with white cloud-stuff, and for a few moments she thought the soup was done and that was all. But before her eyes the clouds began to move and [url=https://cdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/002/938/674/large/dmitry-solonin-leviathan.jpg?1467538208]gigantic cloud-whales[/url] swept up from the soup, followed closely by all sorts of [url=https://d19fbfhz0hcvd2.cloudfront.net/UC/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/82-870x870.jpg]cloudy incirrata[/url]. "What the fuck. What are they going to eat?!" Tonta muttered to herself, splashing her hand into the soup. The droplets immediately took flight after the skyborne behemoths in the form of enormous swarms of flying krill. Tonta looked on for what felt like hours as the swarm continued to leave the soup. 

"You messed up big time." The wise blob informed her. She stopped looking at the swarm and fixed him with a death glare until the last of the swarm had gone. When she looked into the soup she found that not even that giant swarm had depleted it. She reached in and out came gigantic mussels, each easily the size of a boulder. 

"What. The. Fuck." She intonated as she threw them at the shard. They landed in the north and were followed by equally large crabs that would feed on them. She looked into the soup again and paused. "I swear if anyone ever tells me to be nice again I'mma tear their head off." She glanced at the wise blob. "I'MMA TEAR THEIR HEAD OFF."

That was when the weird [url=https://animalworld.com.ua/images/2020/Mart/Animals/Euglossini/Euglossini-6.jpg]magic bees[/url] decided to buzz out of the soup.

[centre][img]https://web.archive.org/web/20091027142715im_/http://geocities.com/artists_tzora/images/flowerbar.gif[/img][/centre]
[list][*][hider=Summary]Tonta is minding her own business watching the world die when some soul blob asks her to help save the animals. Tonta don't care tho. But then he tells her you're a cool and strong goddess man, and she be like awww dang, you flattering me okay bro I'mma save the animals for you, just watch.
She makes a glorious animal hurricane and saves the animals. But the hurricane has turned them all into a flesh soup and when she comes to disentangle them from each other she ends up with weird amalgamations. So she fuckin failed to save the animals. She spends time getting all sorts of weird things out of that soup. Biggest change is that clouds are now giant whales and octupi that feed on swarms of flying krill.[/hider]
[*][hider=MA Spent]
Created: 
[url=https://animalworld.com.ua/images/2020/Mart/Animals/Euglossini/Euglossini-6.jpg]Magic bees[/url]
[url=https://d19fbfhz0hcvd2.cloudfront.net/UC/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/82-870x870.jpg]Cloudy Incirrata[/url]
[url=https://cdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/002/938/674/large/dmitry-solonin-leviathan.jpg?1467538208]Gigantic Cloud-Whales[/url]
Flying Krill
Giant Mussels that are fed on by Giant Crabs (these should exist across the north of the shard)
[url=https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ee/54/36/ee5436453686b4f0444886fab451a6be.jpg]Peryton[/url]

And other stuff, see the hyperlinked words in the post.[/hider]
[/list]