[center][h1][color=00a651]Tuesday, May 11, 2021

A Gated Community Near Miami, Florida, United States[/color][/h1][/center]

Charles Grunewald was perhaps the only person in the world to become [i]less[/i] calm as he slowly sipped his morning Earl Grey.

Over the past three weeks, his daily ritual of solitary Sudoku over a leisurely breakfast failed to quiet his restless mind. The balding man's pencil paused halfway through an 8 as thoughts of new opportunities emerged unbidden. New mysteries to solve, new talents to hone, a whole new dimension of life and beyond to explore...

Charles Grunewald didn't much like such things.

"Oh, Charlie, come quick!" an enthused voice called out. "You [b]have[/b] to see this!"

Charles let out a sigh, finished his 8, and took his sweet time walking to the living room. While the years had wizened him into a mellow and practical soul, Linda never changed a bit. She must be calling him out of his chair just to look at the latest... thing her friend sent. You know, the pictures with the "funny" captions. What were they called... mems?

The moment Charles's socks crossed the threshold, a honey-blonde woman fervently pointed at the television.

"Look, Charlie! This man says he's a plant!"

Charles's hazel eyes lazily wandered to the screen. But he didn't see the crazed disheveled "Florida Man" he expected. Instead, two sharply dressed young men and a middle-aged woman in a lab coat sat in a well-lit studio. As the dark-haired man reached toward the man with a microphone, Charles read the bold caption at the bottom of the screen.

[h3][center]Big Reveal: Head Researcher at Miami Biotech 
Company Claims Connection to Plant Essence[/center][/h3]

The dark-haired man closed his eyes as he lightly touched the microphone man on the forehead. As the seconds of awkward silence passed, skepticism began to leak through the host's politely neutral face. Then his eyes lit up.

"Oh yeah, I think I feel it!" the reporter exclaimed. His unimpressed expression morphed into wonder as the dark-haired researcher allowed a slight I-told-you-so smirk. "Oh man... I would've skipped the cheap stuff in the lobby if I'd known this was coming!"

"I know, right?" the researcher replied. "I can't wait until I get my super speed."

Both men chuckled at their corny jokes. The woman sitting between them maintained her serious composure, moving only to blink. Charles took another sip of tea and tried to hide his sudden interest from his wife.

"So what do you plan to do now that you're among the blessed?" the host inquired. "Open an alternative coffee shop?"

"Nah, my place is right here," the researcher replied with a charming smile that rivaled the host's. The middle-aged woman nodded and finally opened her mouth to speak.

"Over the past few years, we have fielded well-meaning but ill-informed complaints about the small percentage of people with animal essences on our staff. We want to reiterate, to regain the public's trust, that we hold those few employees in high regard and consult them in all matters to discern what these people truly want and need. Companion Biotech, and myself as Founding Director, have always believed in the inclusion and empowerment of such individuals at the core of our philosophy. Whether animal-essenced people are nervous about science after the appalling experiments they were subjected to during the Cold War, or they succumb to the stereotype that they are better for physical labor than intellectual fields like scientific research, we simply have fewer qualified applicants among this population than we would desire. Now that one of our head researchers possesses an essence of his own - a newly discovered plant essence, no less - we open up even greater opportunities to put our minds and talents together to achieve the best life and health for everyone."

The woman's face maintained an earnestly serious expression as she continued.

"This is the main reason for our upcoming Summit on Human and Animal Relations with Plants. Companion Biotech wishes to have an open, collaborative discussion with members of all three groups. You need not be a scientist or doctor to attend. We will include some conferences, but we also plan to include more lighthearted activities to attract a wider sample of public opinion."

"Everyone is welcome," the dark-haired researcher paraphrased. "We especially look forward to hearing from our new allies in the plant kingdom. That's why, if you can show solid proof that you possess a plant essence, we'll refund 2/3 of your admission fee."

For the first time, the lab-coated woman's face showed a flicker of emotion: surprise. She glanced toward the researcher with widened eyes for just one second before smoothing her visage back into mature stoicism. Perhaps the coworkers hadn't reached an agreement about the matter at hand before going on air. The researcher let out a smug grin. He knew what he did.

"Oh, Charlie, we should go!" Linda gushed. She was already pulling out her phone to enter the ticket reservation website displayed on the television screen. "Wouldn't it be so great? You could make some AMAZING new friends!"

"Let's not jump right to giving away our money just because some charming guy on tv said we should," Charles grumbled in reply. "All these 'leadership conference' things are scams. They make it sound like they're generously providing all these great opportunities to connect, but I'm sure they're just trying to make a buck off of some bright-eyed fools somehow."

The portly man tipped his mug back for more tea, but only a single drop dripped down. Before he could stop himself, he automatically looked inside the cup for more.

The next moment, Charles was nowhere. Warm darkness surrounded him, and an incomprehensible voice like a gentle grandmother murmured from multiple indiscernible points in the nothing.

Charles rubbed his temples. The objective pleasantness of the experience made it difficult to hate, which only added to the logic-minded man's frustration.

The man continued to drift in the formless space for several seconds. Then, a more detailed stimulus began to take shape. What started as a rumble turned into a staccato roar. Charles was just able to grasp the clarifying noise as the fierce bark of a dog.

As suddenly as it began, the vision ended, and Charles found himself back in his living room. He shook his head and sighed. Charles hadn't owned a dog since he was a child, no close neighbors owned a dog, what the hell did a dog have to do with ANYTHING? Maybe he would be more eager to follow the "mystical guidance of tea" or whatever if it told him something [b]useful[/b] for once.

At least the morning show that interrupted his morning was about to wrap up.

"You've been hearing from Lakshmi Gupta and Preston Nichols of Companion Biotech. I'm John Jacob, and this has been American Morning. Have an excellent day, and we'll see you tomorrow!"

Charles was not listening to the host's exit speech. He was gazing at the Companion Biotech logo scrolling across the bottom of the screen. It featured two images of an ECG heartbeat. In between the heart beats, in the same style of line, was an outline of the head of an alert guard dog.

Charles frowned for a few seconds. Then he marched to the kitchen, brandishing his mug of damp leaves like a weapon, followed by the bemused gaze of Linda. Charles threw open the lid to the garbage can and dramatically splattered the tea leaves all over yesterday's corn husks.

"YOU DON'T GET TO BOSS ME AROUND!"

[hr]

[center][h1][color=00a651]Saturday, June 19, 2021[/color][/h1][/center]

[center][color=00a651][h3]-Last Day of Spring-[/h3][/color][/center]

[center][h1][color=00a651]Cypress View Retreat Center,
Florida, United States[/color][/h1][/center]

The tea bossed him around.

As Charles parked in a gravelly parking lot surrounded by wilderness, Linda nearly leapt out of the car with excitement. At least [i]somebody[/i] was happy to drive halfway to the Everglades and pay $150 each for a chance to hear people who think they know about plants talk about plants.

"Oh, Charlie, look at that one!" Linda enthused before he hardly had a chance to look at the previous one. "The trees are so big here. It's been SO long since we went camping!"

"Mmhm, it'll be nice," the tea reader flatly replied as he prepared to heft the bulk of their luggage several minutes to reach the cabins.

Ten large cabins, each capable of holding thirty or so people for the night, sprawled in a large circle around a rustic yet beautiful central pavilion. The check-in man at the pavilion directed him to Cabin 3.  While Linda immediately chatted up another lady getting settled in the cabin, Charles sank into his cot and rubbed his already aching knees.

After a few minutes, the portly man stepped outside and walked closer to the encircling wall of trees. He closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh wilderness, listened to the quiet. It [i]was[/i] beautiful here, and it [i]had[/i] been a while since the couple had done something remotely close to camping. Perhaps... he could make the most of this journey, despite whatever inane nonsense it may involve. This could be no ordinary day. A packet of Lipton told him so.