Kijani went from despondent surprise to genuine shock at Adam's sudden confession. Her head spun.

Could loving someone really lead them to the Dark Side? She had been taught to let go of attachments, but she'd always meant that to be the physical things, the money and the clothes and such. But attachments of the heart were off limits as well? How?

Usually love was a good thing, something that most people experienced. But now it was a precursor to- She had to forcibly halt her own mind to drag it back to the issue at hand.

Adam hadn't said it in so many words, but he loved her.

Loved [i]her[/i].

[b]Loved[/b] her!

He could probably read the confusion on her face, but she had yet to speak. Mostly because she didn't know what to say at all. This was not the first time someone had said that. Far from it. It was, however, the first time she'd heard it from someone who truly mattered to her. Which set her spinning, like a ship with no gravity. 

"...Why?"

She spoke without meaning to. "I mean, I get the crush thing. That happens. More than I'd like, actually. It's the celebrity thing. But you, I thought you were..." More sensible. Safer. SANE. None of that passed her lips. "I thought you just saw me as a friend. I never knew you... I..."

She could feel her heart starting to thump rapidly in her chest. Without at all meaning to, Adam had brought up something she'd been struggling with for quite some time.

[i]Who was Kijani? And what did [b]she[/b] want?[/i]

Beyond the title and bloodline. Beyond the Force. Beyond all of the teachings and trappings - who was she at her core? More often than not, she felt like a piece in a grand game, ready to be sacrificed at will to some higher cause. Becoming a Jedi had made that notion much, much worse. She'd been fighting this very question since her youth, and never had a answer. And yet here was Adam with something seriously, severely personal, and all she could think of was...

"What of me is there to love?" 

It was almost inaudible. She was actually shaking very slightly. Sure, it was cold, but she hadn't been shivering before.

"Is it because I am a princess, or a Jedi? Which is it? Because beyond that, I don't see how..." 

She closed her eyes.

And then Kijani made the hard decision, the type of decisions that she was raised to make.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe it is better that you go, and hopefully avail yourself of this notion. I promise, you're not in love with me. Distance will surely solve the issue for you." She opened her eyes and smiled, but there was nothing behind it.