She could kill her, a desperate voice chimes in. Yeah, that's right! That's the right move! That's the madness of war! That'd show them not to mess with them! That'd keep them away! Don't push us around, don't try to kill them! Look, she's even taken her helmet off, the cocky bastard! She's as good as promised to keep coming for them until you or she is dead, so why not? It's not like you'd be more of a murderer than when you started the day!

And it'd show them that she's different than they expected! See, look at her! Invoked Ares in a fight, and nothing exploded! Except the oven. And some scorched power conduits, yeah, and most of the cookery! And she didn't care! She'd fought to win, with all her strength, and hadn't hurt anyone! She could keep this! Could still be like this, if she could just show them!

What a fool she's been. All this time, all these years, she thought she was made of stone, but now she sees the truth! What else could she be made out of but lead? It sits in her chest like a hollow, an emptiness radiating out into the rest of her. It drags her spear to the ground, weighs down her feet, halts her pacing dead.

Surely there has to be a way to bring it back. Invoke Ares again! Bring him back! Let the warmth suffuse her, let her dance without cares, strike without worrying, think without--!

It's like caging smoke. It's gone, and it might not come back, and somehow that thought is worse than all the rest. She's gone through lif blind, grasping at shadows, and been plunged into a sea of being able to see for the first time! And then had it cruelly cut off! And it's almost enough to make her wish she hadn't seen it, because she wouldn't be squinting into the near distance and trying to remember what color feels like!

"So why bother? You say we are dead men walking. Let us walk, if you feel so sure."

Don't look at Isty, Alexa. Don't check what she must be thinking, no matter how your head wants to turn. Don't ponder what her face must look like. That way lies thinking, and caring, and retreat, and accepting that this can't last, and going [i]back.[/i] 

She looks, and curses her own stupidity. Curses her inability to leave well enough alone. To just let things happen. She has to care, has to get involved. Has to try to make them happy. 

Has to be Alexa, and damn her eyes for it.