At this point, being useless would be the very gift of the gods.

Useless would mean that the exercise in pincer tactics would end in squabbling and infighting, instead of having her mock forces cut apart and routed. Useless would mean that the spear in her hand would feel unfamiliar, but not so awkward that she's a danger to those around her. Useless would mean that everywhere she go, she might see exasperation from people, but at least she would [i]see[/i] people. People would not make awkward excuses, or turn abruptly when they see her entering the hall, or have conversations drop out around her.

Useless, in short, would mean not making things worse for being present.

How great her folly must seem! She, who truly believe that she was the greatest fighter alive! Heir to the greatest tradition of strategy, recipient of the finest training! She, who felt she must restrain herself, lest her unreleased fury harm those around her! How great the folly of Molech, to imagine that by codifying rules of war, he could cage her, bind her! She has displeased the goddess of war, and like that, her vaunted skills take flight and leave her worse than she started.

What is she, if not the greatest warrior? If she's not that, then what does that leave for her to be? What's left behind when you cut away the trappings of the warrior princess?

She wanders the hall, dodging the faces of those who must surely be able to see the cloud following her. Is she running away? Running towards? Just moving, to leave the thoughts behind? If she can just find a spot to make her stand, plead her case--

Then what?  She's worse than useless as is--Athena turns her plans to ashes, spites her efforts, brings whispers of curses as she passes. But if she goes [i]back--[/i] Back to being as she was--

The thought sits in her chest like a brick. She has to appease Athena if this journey is to succeed. Has to make recompense for the murder of her father, if the gods would smile on her again. But what does that mean? How? 

And so she wanders, not even knowing what she's looking for but knowing it's not here.