Mika knew how much Dean cared for Sam. She knew just as well as anyone else how much he considered it to be his job to almost bring up Sam, rather than John as their father was not a great father role model at all. It was a shame because before her family attack and the loss of Mary, he was a great dad, but the events of their lives just changed John so much, he was barely recognisable as that same doting father. She wished she could have the power to turn back time and set them all on a different path, make things right so none of them had to live the life of a hunter so Sam could know his mother, her and Dean didn't have to play this game, Bobby didn't have to begrudgingly lie to the boys and John about who she was and she didn't have to lose her parents. Yet that's not how life worked, life wasn't some fairytale, they couldn't just click their fingers or their heels and have everything magically be fixed. And even if there was some kind of spell out there to fix everything it would come with such a cost that would void out the benefits.

Hearing Dean say how it seemed she was the only one he could talk about all of this to without being judged made her nod in understanding. She got where he was coming from completely, even if she couldn't tell him half of what she wanted to because she was just too damn scared to and had lived the lie for what felt like too long. At the mention of Dean being worried John would hit Sam made her raise both her eyebrows briefly, "shit, I hope not" swaa all she could find what to say as his next words completely threw her off her path of thinking.

[i]"shit mika, why didn't you think about that fact?! You're such a bloody fool! Come on girl, you need to think of a good counter and start!"[/i] she thought to herself, "who knows Dean...i mean, my cousin may have been a distant one but I know her well enough to know she could be stubborn enough if she wanted to be. Or maybe she is going crazy but not reached 'must rip your junk off crazy' yet. All I know is that she loved you dearly. You two may have been pretty young at the time but she loved you so much. Maybe she thinks she can defy everything to look out for you or something" she replied. She also found it interesting that he said 'she didn't die normal' when he still wanted to believe she was very much alive not long ago. "or maybe we're barking right up the wrong tree and it's a demon or something impersonating her" she shrugged, looking st him for the most part, but soon looked down at her lap. 

-------------

Sam nodded and sighed whilst noticing how she fidgeted with the bandage on her wrist, wondering what she did to warrant such a thing. He also understood greatly what she meant by parents coming back a little more lost and less like themselves after a hunt. John was the same and sometimes he'd just pretend to be asleep to avoid even getting into a conversation or argument with his dad. At the question about himself he just shrugged, "I dunno to be honest. I guess my brother Dean just keeps me as grounded as possible. If dad comes back in a mood for whatever reason, I just avoid him as much as I can. But the tension is getting bad, and I'm terrified he's gonna lash out at one of us one day. But I just wanna know what normal life is like ya know? I didn't know my mom but I can't imagine she'd want this for me." he replied.

"do you mind me asking about the bandage?" he finally asked cautiously.