She gulped ever slightly before sighing as she nodded when he confirmed that all Bobby said was what happened that actual night. SHe flinched the tiniest bit when he closed the gap between them and put his hand on her face, oh how she wanted to lean into his hand but she also knew the last time he did that, he began to strangle her and almost damn well killed her. She didn't know whether she should try and run, dare him to get his anger out on her or hold her hand ontop of his softly. She could hear him cry as he whispered her name, her real name at her as she prayed he wouldn't strangle her again whilst feeling his thumb on her throat. 

Her eyes closed as she felt him kiss her nose, just like he used to do when they were younger, when life was happy and carefree. Even though he was well and truly a hunter already, but they were happy and when they were together it was like they were normal teenagers with no involvement in the world of weird. Her own tears fell down her cheek as she sighed with relief from his hands leaving her throat. Lifting her own hand up, she used the back of her hand to wipe away her tears before finally glancing up at him properly. "Dean, I am so sorry...I can never say those words to you enough to make it anywhere near the accurate amount of how sorry I am. When I overheard John that night come over and tell Bobby why he needed you and Sam here and say I was dead, that there was no way I could have survived I just slid into hiding up here. Hells, I was in the attic most of the time. Unable to go far..." she started to explain to him, slowly and cautiously taking his hands into her own and lead him to her bed where she sat down. 

She needed to get the whole story out of her system, to be fully open with him, including properly showing him the everlasting state of her back. She swallowed back saliva in the hopes it would also stop any more tears from falling as she looked at her hands that were now on her lap, fingers interlocking. "I don't remember much of the actual attack, I just remember this blinding warm light shrouding me making the wendigo cower and run away, leaving me for dead. Bobby says I somehow managed to crawl back to here, covered in blood as my back was torn to shreds as well as my having injuries to 75% of my body, including my face. I don't remember what happened when I got here. I made Bobby lie to you, using his role as my actual Uncle against him." she started saying. "I was out cold more days than not. When I came round I was overcome with grief for my folks, I felt like a ghost trapped because I didn't recognise myself. I couldn't bare to face you and Sam like that. I felt so ugly and disfigured that I thought that it would be better if you did believe I was dead. Hell, I thought it was better to be dead most of the time. It Bobby all of his effort and sanity to heal me up and help me. Some point through that I grew cold and vengeful that I didn't want to be me anymore, thats when Kenzi was born so to speak". 

She took a deep breath and removed her shirt, turning to show her back where from behind the tattoo and in the proper bedroom light he would finally see the scars, all going in different directions and from just below the nape of her neck to her lower back. The scar tissue still very much raised even to this day, and thanks to the hunt she had just come back from, they were now redder than normal. "I wanted to tell you the truth but my heart and soul grew so void of confidence to tell you, I just hoped that one day you would figure it out for yourself. It was one reason why I left those clues. Those...notes from myself" she softly spoke but it was clear she was crying as her tone wavered in places. "I still don't know who I am anymore...I just wanna know who I once was and remember what it was like to be me again. I'm so terrified of losing you for good Dean...." she then cried, shaking greatly as she couldn't speak any more.