Damn.

Damn him for not backing down. Damn her for escalating to "we can do this the hard way" in the first place. Damn her spear for feeling [i]wrong[/i] in her hands, for that little extra knife of betrayal. Damn him for reminding her that--

She's [i]not[/i] useless. Yeah, arguably Redana doesn't need protecting, can handle things on her own. Yes, she's earned the ire of the gods. Yes, Athena's turned away from her, so arguably the best thing she can do for Redana is find her own replacement.

She should back down. Should heed her own warning, shouldn't pick fights where she doesn't need to. Has too few friends, divine or otherwise, to go making enemies. What's the next escalation from here, Alexa? What's your plan for when you, chest heaving, stand over your allies? What happens when he says "okay, maybe we do need the relics?" He's got them spare, and you haven't. He's got troops spare, and you haven't. He's not shunned by the war god, hasn't had the strength pulled out of his limbs, doesn't feel like his mind is clouded with--

It's worse for the knowledge that she used to know these things. Remembers what it was like, without the knowledge of how to do it anymore. Could get it back, maybe, if she were willing to get back in Athena's good graces. Could go back to it.

Could go back to what? Go back to being a tool? Go back to being the Pallas?

But what else is there for her? What else can she be? It's all she's ever known!

Not!Rusty tugs at her clothing, whines. It's not worth it, come on, let's go, let's get going, we'll figure out something else. You won't have to fight--nobody's ordering you to fight, here! It's not something you have to disobey! You have options! You can go talk to Vasilia, barter your memories with Iskarot, go whining to Redana! 

All it will cost is your pride!

...

Step back, Not!Rusty. She's doing this for your own good. She sways gently, spear dragging and limbs full of unfamiliar reflexes. But what is she, in the end, if she is too weak to protect somebody else?