[hr] [h2] [color=#50c878]Senja Penttilä[/color] [/h2] [hr] There was peace. The sounds of many a soldier sleeping. The gentle touches of the hand of a man upon his fellow as he expressed a story. The smiles and tears alike that were accompanied by laughter and contemplation. A dance in the wind. A stroll in the halls. There was the sound of war, of course, but when you could hardly afford to go anywhere and you were so far away from the frontline it didn’t matter. In the moment you could only hope for the will of your fellow men to keep you safe while you recovered. You would hope that once you were on the frontline you could buy your friends time so they could enjoy their break as well. Senja experiences pockets of peace and rest but it was hardly ever a long life lived without something to do. She was always wanted to be active. Living life as a hermit with no prospects or simply living for conversation wasn’t quite all there was to her. Fact of the matter is that she was equal parts a woman of faith and a soldier of faith. That was simply all there was to it. So long as she remained in her own hopes she would persist in trying to help others even if it meant she was in wars fought on the field or in a hospital. She cherished every moment she witnessed the gratitude of another. That was her reward for a job well done. Ensuring a life went on even just a little bit longer was all that mattered to her here... Now it was time to be a soldier. [hider= Lessons From the Order I] [hr] When she first joined the order she was taught a few fundamental truths. 1. You are not your own. 2. You must sacrifice to protect those you love. 3. You will abandon your all to prevail. When she was first presented to these of the truth she was rather confused. She was a hunter, sure, but she did not understand what that would entail until weeks into her training she was given her first blade. It was a long shafted weapon. Made from wood and steel with a one sided head. The axe head was smooth, sharp, and large. She was expected to use it. She was weak and she hesitated often. Driving the blade straight into the target with poor form left hands hurting and body reeling. It was heavy and her spirit was waning. The song of defeat hummed itself into her head and she felt arms beginning to collapse. “We will correct this. Change your stance and try again.” A voice called to her. There she was, tired and weakened from her endless attempts with but one voice to correct her. She felt arms and legs being adjusted, back straightened, hands moved, and head snapped forward. Half a mind to quit. Half a mind to just sleep there on the ground. But the memories of home kept her awake. “Abandon yourself. Steel your spirit. Can’t feel your arms? Use them anyway.” Tears. Pain. Dizziness. Chopping ever so weakly into the dummy she would weeze, dropping the axe half of the time that she brought it to her target. She tried until she couldn’t physically grasp her weapon any longer. Painful words would come from that instructor. Painful words that she would endure for so very long. “So desperate to see your family die. Back to your shelter where you hide away.” Again… and again… and again… and again… One night, in desperate prayer she drove her eyes to the heavens with her legs collapsed against the ground. Her knees found the strength to support her and arms struggled to hold her prayer. “G-God… loving… savior… give- me… the strength to- sacrifice myself… Give me… the strength to abandon… myself for the ones I love…” A seed in the soil. Practice resumed again. Nothing unexpected. Physical gains from physically torturous training. Form was improving every day. The lessons of the day followed her into her training and though tears still persisted she was far less audible. She gave her prayer again at night. She gave her prayer again… and again… and again. She took upon her body one day and didn’t recognize it. She wasn’t quite thin and soft to begin with, but could she really say that at all about herself anymore with what the order had done to her? Muscles were pronounced, hands felt like they could grip more than ever before, legs felt heavy and yet so light. Even if in the mirror she looked like the same person, in her eyes she saw someone else. Or, at least, an altered spirit. How long had she been at this? She wasn’t sure at the time, but what was certain was that she was more confident in her abilities. Her will had changed and so too her strength. After studies she once again took her place before a new target and once more did she listen to Instructor Alvar Selänne give his instruction. “This man stands between you and your loved ones. If you do not kill him then he will kill you. He will not restrain himself as he has his own life to protect. He has his own loved ones to protect, but you will not let that stop you. Your life is worth more! But your life is worth nothing if you cannot continue! Do you hate your family?! Do you hate your life?! DO YOU HATE GOD?! IF YOU LOVE LIFE AS YOU CLAIM THEN YOU WILL ENSURE THAT YOU CAN PRESERVE IT! KILL HIM!!” In a blind rage she took all that was bottled up on the inside and poured it upon her arms. Mind spiked with imagery of death and suffering. She had once believed that all life was worth protecting even if they were not noble. She once believed that no matter the person all could be made well. She once believed that she would never kill a man no matter what they did to her. But with a single swing of the axe she defied all of those thoughts. She ripped it off of the ground. Broken into pieces with a roar unlike anything her younger self would have produced. Yet still unlike her she quickly slammed feet into ground to chase after her quarry before it could even hit the ground. As soon as it landed she was already upon it, bringing that deathly blade upon its head, causing the wooden object to split in half. There was a sick satisfaction to it. The feeling of bloodlust swarmed her body and thirsted for more. She wanted to drive out every ill thought and spend all of the heartache upon something or someone. She brought her axe up once more, thinking to greed for one more swing before calming herself. She had done what she was asked. Even if there was yet still pain, she could pray it away. Her arms lowered slowly, breath heavy and pulse slamming into her ears as she turned to face the disturbance in the air that had made an audible swing. Her eyes widened, finding the base of Alvar’s spear but inches before her head. The instructor returned his weapon to the ground, a stoic pose taken once more. “Had you continued in reckless abandon I would have stuck you. However, it seems you control your anger better than some of the men. Impressive work, sister. Continue on your path and remember that one day you will have to kill. In that day you must not hesitate. But you must not lose yourself in the darkness. Strive to show grace and glory even as you lay low those who would defile your honor. I am proud of you for you have earned this victory today. In his holy name…” [hr] [color=#50c878]“In his holy name…”[/color] Senja whispered to herself, entering the supply trench and getting to work immediately. [hr] [/hider] Senja had done her best not to pull attention to herself in the presence of the captain, though she respected his authority over her. There wasn’t much to be done about this situation and in the dribble of rain she felt as though the enemy would be upon them today. It was simply a cautious hunch, but it was one that she was very aware of. Still, such things would be taken care of in time. For now it was time for her to meet with friends that she hadn’t had a chance to really speak with in so long. Though she wished to speak with the others, Diana needed her immediate attention. She approached the woman placing a gentle hand upon her arm and gave a sunny smile. [color=#50c878]“Diana, it has been a long time. May god grace you with good health and rest on this day. How are you?”[/color] [@Landaus Five-One]