Mika's smile faded ever so slightly when he told her I shouldn't love him, that the love they have grown to feel for each other shouldn't be a thing for them, especially because of their lives as young hunters. Yet she knew her heart wanted what it wants and if she was honest with herself when she was Kenzi she thought those same things herself. She tried everything to stop her heart from feeling anything for Dean and failed every single damn time.

"trust me, I know... I've tried to not to, but I can't not" she replied to him. She knew he wasn't trying to kill the mood and she knew just as well as he did this was a conversation they had to have, no matter much it may hurt the both of them emotionally. Thinking everything was perfect for them again was the furthest from her mind, she knew this was just part of their process of forgiving each other and it was never an instant recovery. 

She leaned into his hand as he rubbed her face with his thumb, smiling soberly but also partially warmly back as she too tried to convince herself that this time, things would be different.

She listened as he spoke honestly with her, more honestly than he had done for a very long time it felt, which she appreciated but also found them incredibly hard words to hear him admit. She hated that her crying or being hurt in any way hurt him that much. Yet it showed when he said the three heavy words, it really was truthful despite knowing he wasn't one to just say them at every single girlfriend he's ever got. For him, and her, they had to be truly meant before being said. It was why she could never say those words bsck to Ethan, when though he told her he loved her regularly. 

She smiled somberly at him as he looked her right in the eyes and explained that he k ew what those words meant for her as well as him, nodding slightly in understanding as she knew he was right. She was so grateful that he was finally being fully honest with her and knew if he could be this honest with her, then she could with him also. "I know..." she began replying to him.

"I want this to work also Dean. You're not the only one that feels their entire being being ripped up when they see the other in a state, be it emotionally or physically. I do with you also. I want this just as much but I'm not going to pretend that it will be an easy road to proving we can do this. I don't think it will be easy...for either of us but I'm willing to fight the odds if you are." she started saying, deciding now was time to be fully honest.

"like I said, I'm willing to try anything I can to change and be a better person. It won't be easy for me, I'm practically learning to be myself again, someone I've forgotten to be for so long. But I wanna myself again. Be that girl you first met all that years ago." she told him.