[center][b]Trigger Warning: Suicide Attempt[/b][/center]
[color=darkgray][center][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/210712/53b606d0b0f7a7378e17624addbcba59.png[/img]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/qg0hAkx.png[/img]
[b]December 4, 2016, Edenridge High at Night[/b]
[color=19C8AC]________________________________________________________________________________[/color][/center]
[indent]The night was a special kind of darkness. Some people found comfort wrapped in the pure black blanket, some got lost in their fears, insecurities, and nightmares, and others came to life. There was something about the spirit of Edenridge High, stoic and sober, aware of itself, of the history that echoed within these halls, that drew Niles Sinclair in. 

At night, the school chose solitude, like an almost abandoned house, in a surreal, timeless state. As weird as it may seem, this was Niles’ cherished place where everything he suppresses throughout the day comes out, unrestrained and unfiltered. This was the only time he truly felt free and himself. Not even in front of his closest loved ones did he feel like he could say everything he needed to say and [i]not[/i] feel like a burden. 

His father wouldn’t be home, working unpredictable hours at the hospital, and his sisters, they had Cat or Nina Belmonte’s places to stay at, if they absolutely needed a babysitter. Thankfully, neither Autumn or Carrie wanted him home so they never tattled about his night endeavors. 

Once in a blue moon, he could have the school all to himself. No false pretense. No popularity contests. No drama. Just him, the school, and, well, Frank, but Frank sucked at his job. 

Niles liked the quiet and he liked that he knew where every camera was and the exact times the overnight security guard, [url=https://media.tenor.com/images/bb2e8029c08801b936f6235eb4e10e1c/tenor.gif]Mr. Frank Turner[/url], would take a nap, watch porn, or leave the building, propping the front door open, for one of many smoke breaks. He also liked how easy it was to pickpocket the dude and make a copy of the master key to every room in this godforsaken place. He liked how easy it was to get in and do what he wanted. He liked… having the school to himself. 

Rolling the master key in his knuckles, casually walking down the hallway in a black hoodie and skinny jeans to match, as he had done many times before, Niles lurked through the halls of his school, seeking his destination like a creature of the night. 

Tonight he was especially annoyed because he knew a certain someone was having the time of her life at a party that he refused to go to. Whether he was annoyed at himself or knowing well enough what she’d be doing at this party was yet to be determined. 

As he silently roamed, his faded eyes rarely blinked and his expression looked effortlessly dead. Lost in the in the inbetween, his reality and the reality around him, Niles found himself struggling with his raging demons and PTSD. 

What triggered him today? 

Was it the fact that Autumn found out their father was sleeping with a woman that wasn’t their mother? Or the fact that Carrie cried in Niles’ arms a few hours ago seeking advice only a mother could give? Or was it that he could feel himself forgetting his mother’s smile as he replaced it with someone else’s? 

Regardless of what it was, he felt guilty, unworthy, and incredibly sad. He would never admit it though. Being honest outloud wasn’t his forte. Instead, he locked it deep inside his heart, refusing to give anyone the combination. 

If people asked him about the year his mother died, he wouldn’t be able to answer it. Niles had no recollection of that year at all. The thing about grief was, it felt easier to turn away from it and not take power over the painful memories. Easier, but not healthier. Even if he wanted to, he knew he could never truly move on from his past. From her. How could he when she was everything and more? She was [i]his[/i] mother. 

People didn’t understand. They wouldn’t. The hurt would never stop. Not now, not later, not ever. There was this constant piercing pain he felt. It may have been a couple years since her passing, but it still hurt like a bitch. His heart couldn’t suddenly mend because someone believed he and his family had grieved long enough. He would never stop loving his mother and he knew until the day he died, he would think of her and hurt like hell. 

Fuck, it hurt like hell. 

When he registered where he was, Niles looked at his hand. It was now holding a can of bloody red spray paint. When did he take that out of his backpack?  His green gaze went from the can to the white wall in front of him. 

In big letters it read: 

[center][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/210714/919c42dcbd0fed8f9e79a60bbee0c824.png[/img][/center]
Out of shock, he dropped the can and stepped back, eyes widened and watering. That wasn’t what he wanted to write. He… he couldn’t stop thinking about the drifting image of the woman he loved. The most important person to him. If there was some kind of God out there, that man was an asshole, who ripped a compassionate and driven mother away from three children and a doting, hard-working husband. 

And after? 

This town, this fucking cursed town, only spat on her memory. She wasn’t born and raised in Edenridge. She was always seen as an outsider. Yet she did more for this fucking place than anyone else did. All she wanted was a place to call home and a family, but this town… this fucking town…

[color=fff200]“Who’s there?!”[/color] 

[color=19C8AC]“Shit.”[/color] Seeing the flashlight turn the corner, down the hall, Niles swiftly picked up the can and darted in the opposite direction, making a harsh turn. 

[color=fff200]“Hey get back here, you little shit!”[/color] 

Switching his survival instincts on, the scrawny boy ran every which way, opening a classroom door to misdirect the security guard. 

[color=fff200]“Fuckin’ snake, come out. This ain’t a playground!”[/color] 

Turning his head, Niles didn’t see Frank, but knew he was coming close, so he had to be fast. For a fat guy, Frank could run, but not fast enough for the boy that ran around town a lot, constantly getting away from sticky situations. 

Steady and fast, Niles unlocked a door and closed it quietly behind him. Peering in the peep window, Niles saw the flashlight and instinctively ducked down. After waiting a few minutes, inhaling and exhaling, Niles went from a crouch to a standing position, peeking out once more. He could see Frank in the other room, scanning the surrounding area with his flashlight. 

Sighing in relief, the lost boy knew he was in the clear and that Frank probably didn’t think whoever he was dealing with had a master key. Turning to see what was in front of him, Niles immediately knew where he was and shuffled his way up the stairs that led to the main building’s roof. 

When he reached outside, Niles pocketed the key, placed the can back in the bag, dropped his bag on the ground, and made his way to the ledge. Weird how natural it was for him to come here, out of all places. Absent-mindedly, he wandered to the brick half wall at the edge of the roof. 

Latching onto it, Niles pulled himself up until he was standing on top of it, staring at the gym, the football field, and beyond. Past that was the little town of Edenridge. The place that was his so-called home. 

His eyes went from the stars to the blacktop streets. Something this beautiful, you’d think it would be enough to calm his soul. Something this beautiful, you’d think it would force him to reflect. Something this beautiful, you’d think it would help make it all stop. 

Make it stop. 

Finally, his empty gaze went to the cement floor below him, which was a distance away in height. 

[i]Just do it. Jump. Stop pretending. No one likes you. Jump. No one’s going to miss you. Just fucking do it. Jump. Coward. Pussy. Bitch boy. Jump. Just fucking die already. JUMP![/i]

He could feel himself lifting his foot and moving forward, a sweet surrender to be free and see his mother again. He could feel relief at the idea of ending it all. He could feel… [color=7B68EE]“You’re my best friend in the whole wide world,”[/color] he lethargically turned, looking over his shoulder, to see an image of Natalia Belmonte. She walked to the wall and offered her hand, [color=7B68EE]“I don’t know what I would do without you.”[/color] 

When he reached for it, she disappeared. 

[color=19C8AC]“Heh.”[/color] 

Of course she’d appear when he needed her the most. 

Dropping back down on the rooftop, he pulled out his phone and called the person that just saved his life. When she didn’t answer, he left her a message, [color=19C8AC]“Hey. Can you… when you’re done… come see me? I, uh… just come by.”[/color] *Click.* 

Fuck. Was he going to say he missed her?  Yeah, right. That would be so not him… and pathetic… and mushy… and shit. 

Nervously, he went and sent a text immediately after:  [color=19C8AC]I got cookies.[/color] 

Shoving his phone back in his pocket, the lost boy slapped his forehead in embarrassment, [color=19C8AC]“Cookies? Seriously?”[/color]
[/indent][/color]