[hider=Hermit- Nick Waller]
[h3]Human[/h3]
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[b]Name:[/b] Nick Waller

[b]Age:[/b] 21

[b]Arcana: The Hermit[/b]

[b]Appearance:[/b] Nick is a lithe young man, standing at about 5’6” and weighing 135-ish pounds. His muscles are tight and lean, hardly noticeable save for on his legs, where his running has built him noticeable calves and thighs. His face is round and baby-ish, hidden beneath a perpetual 5 o’clock shadow kept specifically to hide that baby face. His eyes are a deep emerald, the skin around them marred by perpetual dark bags. 

His hair is kept simple, a light brown never allowed to grow longer than an inch, and otherwise unstyled. His skin is ever-so-lightly tanned but definitely not what one would call remotely dark, despite the Texas sun. 

Clothing-wise, during Nick can typically be found in his favorite jacket, a tan American Eagle No. 01977 with faux fur lining. Warm, durable, and waterproof enough, Nick actually liked this jacket enough to get a second one, and he swaps them out every once in a while to keep them in good shape. Underneath he wears t-shirts, and only t-shirts, typically with some graphic design, or a comedic or irreverent phrase written on it. He favors cargo pants and rarely wears jeans, though on some days he will wear a pair of chinos if he’s feeling fancy. His legwear is typically neutral or earth-tone, to match with the tan jacket. Finishing his standard outfit is a pair of well-worn but still fairly decent black sneakers. 

Nick rarely accessorizes, save for his plain olive green backpack, which hardly counts in his opinion. 

Underneath his clothes, his lower back and hips are littered with horizontal stretch marks, which, after a few minor incidents, have resulted in worsening problems with his self-image. On his back, over his heart lies a fist-sized burn scar from a minor medical mishap with a UV lamp and a newborn Nick that thankfully left no actual long-term complications. 


[b]Personality:[/b] Nick is, to the casual observer, a man with two fronts: At times, he is bombastic, loud, comedic, talkative, irreverent, and very open about what he thinks. But he can also be quiet, withdrawn, introspective and even downright isolationist. It’s earned him few friends at Barclay Waterfront University, and Nick seems content with that, rarely branching out and trying to meet new people. 

Which Nick you see depends on the context. In classroom discussions, he’s often very eager to speak his mind, especially when it comes to topics he feels people are often mislead or blissfully ignorant about. He has a genuine thirst for knowledge and understanding, and is more than happy to let others explain things to him if he doesn’t know something.  

Left to his own devises, Nick tends to withdraw into himself, finding entertainment in his phone via videos on Youtube, browsing reddit, or chatting with people via Discord. Unbothered, he can remain like this for hours on end, more than happy to isolate and ignore the world around him in favor of mindless stimulation. 

With friends or those he trusts, a blending of these two extremes is found. Irreverent and nihilistic humor, memespeak, openness, tempered by periods of content silence, browsing the internet to the backdrop of his friends’ conversations, or sharing content with those around him. He’s never quite as loud, or withdrawn and introspective, around his friends, even if everybody is quiet. 

Underneath everything, though, is a reservoir of anger that rarely stops bubbling, ready to be set off at the thought of injustice or unfairness. It’s not uncommon for his bombastic rants to be underlaid with a genuine note of anger, or his dry humor to hide genuine disdain, though he does his best to hide this ugly side from others, and even himself.

And to those with a more discerning eye, they can notice the little things Nick hides. The way he flinches, but only for the briefest of moments, at loud noises or unexpected touch. The way he has to center himself before going off on a rant. The slow breaths he takes when somebody explains something that he already knows, thank you very much. 

There’s more to him than those two fronts. And what little he lets slip doesn’t paint a good picture. 


[b]Bio:[/b][hider=First Content Warning: Self-harm] Raised by parents who never seemed to be quite proud of him, Nick always felt that he played second (or even third) fiddle to his brothers. This caused him to overvalue the talent he did have in his mind. Able to, generally speaking, absorb knowledge easily and lock it in like a steel trap, Nick always had little trouble in his schooling, and what praise he did receive for his good grades was kept and treasured like it was made of gold. 

As he grew older, he learned more about his family’s flaws. The unresolved anger issues that [i]pervaded[/i] them like a virus, the general character flaws that made his parents seem less like goals to emulate, and more like warnings to avoid. He learned how to hide his disappointment, how to vent his pain and frustrations, though not in a healthy manner. 

Nick would tell you that, in high school, things changed. He wouldn’t tell you how. He wouldn’t tell you why. All he’d tell you is that that is when things changed. 

His physical scars were once much less haunting than meets the eye. Since he began self-harming at 16, a series of painfully-obvious scars have joined the other, more innocuous ones. Some have healed remarkably well, while others did not, and remain ugly, red, raised reminders of his own demons, quite literally wearing his burdens on his shoulders. Nick tends to avoid showing his body because of these scars, avoiding the beach and pools whenever possible.

With what little trust in others and self-confidence he had broken over time, Nick tried to double down on what he felt he had, and threw himself into his schoolwork to the neglect of much else. It kept him away from his parents, his brothers, his “friends”, it let him just be alone, where he felt more comfortable. And the results showed. Nick’s grades, somehow, raised, and he took more and more challenging classes, read ahead of the assigned work, and generally stood out as a well-behaved, intelligent young man. 

And finally, college came, and Nick was [i]free[/i]. Free to stay in bed until 2 PM on Saturday once in a while. Free to avoid the constant fake questions from his family. Free from the constant pressure he felt to perform to their standards. And despite how he let go of some the higher standards he placed on himself, Nick thrived without his family putting stress on him constantly. He let himself speak out more, took (generally) better care of himself, and found a schedule that worked for him.

Yet, despite this freedom, despite this respite from the past, Nick hasn’t been able to shake the ghosts that haunt him. His first real relationship fell apart a scant few months ago, an ugly, explosive break up that came from months of suppressed frustration and disappointment from his girlfriend, leaving Nick reeling and wondering [i]what[/i] about him it is that just isn’t good enough.

Nick is from Oklahoma, and he hasn’t left Texas since he started at Barclay Waterfront University. He hasn’t seen his family in over three years. And frankly? That’s just fine with him. The way he sees it, they were just the start of his pain.
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[b]Scars:[/b] 
[hider=Be wary, for you are about to trawl the depths of mankind’s darkness. Turn back if you are not ready. Content Warning for Sexual Assault/Rape and Self-harm.]
Diagnosis: Major Depressive Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. “Self-harm wounds evident on left and right shoulders” “Scars on back and thighs [i]not[/i] from self-harm, incidental stretch marks from puberty growth spurts. Large burn on back from birth complications and hospital mismanagement. Nick stresses these distinctions. Nonetheless, they cause readily apparent self-image problems” “Sexual trauma has resulted in self-imposed isolation and distrust of others, regardless of gender” “Possible familial abuse? Nick rarely speaks of his family, has not seen them in years, and rarely if ever has positive things to say on the subject” “Relationship history brings Nick great pain to discuss” “Avoid casually asking about girlfriends/boyfriends as a topic of conversation” “Sexual repression and repression of bisexuality likely result of assault” “Generally feels safest alone” “More comfortable in virtual spaces than physically with others”

The profile Nick’s psychologist has on him is…extensive and disturbing to the unprepared reader. It is the story of a young man who has never felt truly appreciated for long, who has found every sanctuary and safe haven ripped away from him. 

Nick’s trauma runs deep, and it, in part, has changed him. It has left him feeling unsafe in all but isolation, it has left him afraid of trusting others, and it has turned him against even himself. 

Nick’s deeper, psychological scars can be attributed to several primary events which resulted in his cynical outlook on the world and interpersonal relationships. 


When Nick was 7, his father first insulted him for crying when his parents fought, starting the cracks in their bond as family.

When Nick was 15, his “friends” raped him at a party. Later that year, he realized he was bisexual, but couldn’t stomach the thought of another man touching him outside of a fantasy. 

When Nick was 16, he began cutting as a way to relieve the pain he was hiding. 

When Nick was 18, he left home and decided that if he could help it, he would never go back. 
 
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[h3]Shadow[/h3]
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[b]Appearance:[/b] Nick’s shadow is a young, emaciated boy, dressed in two-sizes-too-large hand-me-downs meant for somebody with a much fuller frame. A plaid shirt clearly from a different era of fashion, frayed blue jeans, and sneakers that barely keep on his feet. Otherwise, Shadow Nick bears a striking resemblance to his human self. 

Transformed, however, Nick’s Shadow grows gargantuan in size to represent the overbearing weight of his deeper torment. It gains multiple arms and its clothes become a patchwork of military uniform, chef’s outfit, and high-visibility gear. Its face becomes a grotesque amalgamation of a half-dozen different discordant visages, all distinct and yet melded together in some terrifying, eldritch torment. One of its left hands becomes a spear, another a massive bludgeon, while its right hands grow just a bit too large, its arms a bit too powerful to look natural on even the colossal frame it has developed.

[b]Personality:[/b] Shadow Nick takes Human Nick’s snark, isolationist tendencies, and temper to 11. Left well enough alone, it will outright ignore anybody else. Bothered even for a moment, however, and it snaps and attacks, biting and scratching to scare off whoever pissed it off.

Nothing and nobody matter to this Shadow, as it matters to nobody and to nothing in turn. Anybody who seeks to disturb it is clearly just looking to pick a fight, and it will defend itself in kind. 

[b]Territory:[/b] Shadow Nick’s territory is a simple, and mournfully empty, suburban home. Not a hint of life can be found within, the walls and floor constantly covered in a layer of dust that seems to resettle behind you as you walk. Comfort is impossible here, a ceaseless feeling of being out of place emanating from the “home”. No place between those walls, beneath that roof, is safe from this psychic influence. 
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[h3]Metaverse[/h3]
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[i]A watcher from afar, never touching, only observing, its self-imposed isolation granting an air of mystery and sophistication. Dark energies roll off this creature in waves, laying waste to what little lives in its desert home.[/i]
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