[h2]Esme Stirling[/h2]

Esme had followed the three into the bar silently taking in the atmosphere, it was crowded but there was still room to move about with everyone in their own little groups. She softly sighed, already starting to feel herself coming down from everything just hearing the sounds within the bar. Her attention was pulled to Jess as she came up to Dean and Mika, she seemed quite excited to see them. Esme listened as she spoke to them, her eyebrows raising slightly at the mention of karaoke. As much as she loved getting in on karaoke, she was going to pass up on it tonight for fear of singing one out of her control. She just wanted to get a few drinks down her, talk a bit, and play some pool tonight.
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After sitting down with the three and getting some alcohol in her, she started to have a pretty good time. Her shoulders had relaxed and she could even laugh and carry on a decent conversation with all three of them. It somewhat surprised her how smoothly it was going and how much better it seemed to be, but there came a point where she needed some time to herself. So, she politely excused herself and went to go play some pool. As she played, she noticed Dean would look over and see if she was still there. She figured to make sure she hadn’t run off. She had promised him she would stay, but it seemed he still thought she would run. 

A few times, she gave him a small, warm smile when he stared over at her. Esme played against several people in the bar and happily took the cash they had set on the table as a bet. When Jess made her announcement for karaoke, Esme was just finishing up a game and looked up briefly before going back to the game. When the crowd cheered, she didn’t look up from the table. She was concentrating on sinking her shot. After sinking the shot, she went to the next, then the next. By the time the music started, she was finishing up the game. “Eight ball, corner pocket.” she called, pointing to the pocket with her cue stick. She took the shot and made it, much to the disappointment of her opponent. 

She took the money off the table and put it in her pocket, then looked to the stage to see who would be singing. Her eyes widened a little, not expecting to see Dean on the stage. She hoped this song was of his own accord and that he was looking at Mika and not her. But as he sang, and she heard the words, she realized he was forced into singing and to her once again. He was also staring at her and not Mika. The words he sang were triggering memories of their time together she had been holding back. She set the cue stick down and walked away from the table, her right hand coming to rest on her chest as she watched him. 

She fought against the rising emotions, not just what she felt from Dean, but her own as well. His begging for help tore at her heart, and she closed her eyes as she saw his tear and fought against her own. “Breathe Esme. Just breathe.” she whispered to herself as she felt that all too familiar ache. No matter how much she tried to fight it, she couldn’t stop the emotions from building. She still couldn’t understand what was causing this and why they were enjoying torturing them so much. She couldn’t even drown out his words as it became harder to breathe. They filled her heart and her soul, causing her to be filled to the breaking point with both of their emotions. 

She opened her eyes and looked at Dean, tears now spilling from them and sliding down her cheeks. She still loved him, and couldn’t deny it even though she had tried to shove it down and lock it away, but his words had brought it back to the surface. The regret she had from leaving him had also been brought to the surface. She started to tremble from the effort of holding everything back, especially the urge to run up on the stage and hug him tightly to let him know it’d be okay because she knew she shouldn’t. “Hold it together woman.” she shakily whispered to herself. 

His words continued to pull at her heartstrings, and she couldn't take much more, she could feel herself buckling under the heaviness of his words knowing they were from his heart. Esme blinked the tears from her eyes to clear her blurred vision, not being able to pull her gaze from his as he continued. This hurt her heart so much, she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs to release the pain, but she held it in, her trembling becoming shaking. She was close to completely losing it when Dean broke off, the tears in his eyes tore at her more. She tried to form words, but she couldn’t get anything to come forth, she was lost in the emotions far too deep. 

She was thankful when the music finally died off and the lights went back to normal, signaling the song was over. It wasn’t until the clapping started, she felt she could move, but was still having trouble catching her breath. The moment Dean wiped his face, she took the opportunity to dash for the door. His song had definitely done a number on her this time. Memories of their happiest times flashed before her eyes as she ran for the door. She was nearing full breakdown mode, which was a side of her she had never let him see. She pushed past several people, tripping and almost falling a couple of times before she reached the door and burst through it. 

Esme forced herself to take a deep breath of the cool air before making her way across the parking lot and running a shaky hand through her hair. “I can’t keep doing this to myself.” she mumbled.