Mika was only now acknowledging that in her thrashing in her sleep, she somehow managed to rebreak his nose which she felt so bad about doing, but he still held her and didn't even think about his injury thanks to her. She listened as he told her not to be sorry, that she would be alright but needed to breathe. At his quip, instead of smirking like she normally would, more tears fell, this time just silently. If only it would be that easy, if only he could go into her dreams and battle the bloody thing that almost ruined her life. But as far as she knew there wasn't a way to do that so it was pointless. 

She tried to focus on her breathing, to steady herself emotionally when she heard Bobby running upstairs and rapping on the door. She realised she really must have been loud and it must have been bad if it made Bobby come to her again, albeit only making it to the door to ask if everything was okay. 

The idea of having her drink that she always had during these times was tempting, especially as she took a guess that she woiuldn't be able to keep this all bottled up anymore. She didn't understand why she was always so scared to tell Dean the things she rpelays in her mind every now and then, but she was. She presumed she didn't want to be seen as weak by him, even though he had always seen her as anything but weak. 

She slowly began to breathe a normal slow pace, remaining bundled up in his arms but shifting her head so she wasn't buried into his shoulder completely, she wiped her eyes with the back of her wrist. "I just wish..it would go away, but it...always rears up...I see it...over and over again.." she mumbled, trying so hard to stop crying as she felt like she was coming to terms with what happened as if it was the first time all over again. 

"I can't take it Dean...." she cried.