Telling him the full story, leaving nothing out made Mika feel some kind of weight lift off her shoulders. She hadn't realised just how much she had held back from him or how scared she had to tell him the proper details of just what the wendigo did to her and her family. She still felt survivor's guilt for that poor kid that they mistook as her that got killed. She didn't even know if after these years she was correctly identified or not but she always hoped she had been.

It wasn't fair that this unknown kid died and died as an unknown because everyone was convinced it was her. It wasn't right, especially as the main person who assumed it was her was in fact John. It was his assumption that practically started the lie onto Dean. She didn't think she would ever get over that guilt for that girl or the lies. Which in turn made her feel like she wouldn't ever fully ever forgive John for anything he said over the attack or anythibg else.

She was almost afraid of how Dean would react to the full details, not afraid that it would make him run, but just...afraid. She never coped well with the pity she got from people, but right now as afraid as she was, she just wanted to be held still by Dean. She listened to what he said to her, hearing the sincerity in his tone as he clearly still held his own guilt for not being there. Hearing that it was one reason why he still found it difficult to look his father in his eyes was of some comfort to her as it almost validated her own feelings toward John.

She briefly closed her eyes as her mind savoured the kiss to her nose and he spoke about how she never had to be alone ever again which made her squeeze him slightly as she still clung to him. She felt so pathetic in some ways but this memory night terror always mentally seemed to push her back a few years. "I never want anyone to take my place...not again. Its not right one kid died under my name" she told him.

She nodded at his promise to find out what saved her. "thank you Dean..." she spoke once more, "I've tried to figure it out all this time with no luck" she added, finally realising she had stopped shaking and was calming down.