[h2]Esme Stirling[/h2]

Esme had heard Dean’s words as she stepped away from him, and they slightly lifted the weight on her heart. She almost missed him reaching out to her to pull her to him. She noticed him freeze and flinch when she moved away from him, then shoved his hands into his jacket. Even as she had spoken, she could see he didn’t know what to do with himself just from her stepping away and spilling her heart out to him. When he turned and met her gaze, she noticed his eyes softened and he went into thought. When he stepped towards her, she tried to step back but was frozen in place. 

Esme’s eyes closed as if on their own as he brushed away her tears, then pulled her into a tight hug. She hesitated for a moment before wrapping her arms around him, not being able to fight it anymore. As he hugged her, apologized, and kissed the top of her head, she tightened her hug and gripped his jacket tightly. As Dean spoke, she closed her eyes tighter, listening to every word, and it tore at her heart, making it ache even more. When Dean mentioned not thinking about anyone telling her about his death, she tensed up as she remembered the call. She could still remember it like it was yesterday. 

The news had frozen her in place and couldn’t breathe, and she had barely gotten out the words ‘No, he can’t be’ before she dropped her phone and fell to her knees in a sobbing mess. Esme opened her eyes when he sniffled, then listened to his next words. She tried to shake her head but couldn’t with the way he was holding it. “But I…..” she started, before he pulled her face from his chest. She stared into his eyes as he stared into hers. His words hit her hard. Mostly, the part about how she left was one of the worst nights of his life. Even if he forgave her for it, she couldn’t forgive herself and wasn’t sure if she ever would. 

She had run away from the best thing in her life, all because it scared her and was afraid she wouldn’t find answers to her father's death, that she didn’t want to drag Dean into. Esme looked up at Dean with tear-filled eyes that held sorrow, pain, regret, and shame. “I…… I honestly don’t know how…… You can forgive me.” she stammered. “That was one of the…… Worst things I could have done to you…… Everything was so good between us. Then I…… Up and leave because I was……. Scared.” She dropped her gaze in shame to his shoulder, feeling a fresh wave of emotion hit her. She fought hard against them, not wanting them to take her over, the effort still making her shake. “I still can’t for…. Forgive myself for leaving and only leaving a note behind.”

Little did they know, Cupid was still sitting on the roof of Rusty’s in tears as he watched Dean and Esme. Notching an arrow in his bow, he pulled it back, taking careful aim at the two below as they embraced each other and talked. Adjusting his aim, he pointed his arrow at Esme and let it loose, his arrow hitting his intended target. A soft melody began to play after the arrow hit Esme, steadily growing louder by the second. 

Esme tensed up when she heard the melody begin to play, looking around for its source but couldn’t find it. She closed her eyes, gripping Dean’s jacket tighter as she fought against the urge to sing to him. [i]No, I don’t want to do this[/i] she thought to herself. The more she fought against it, the stronger it became and soon started to hum along with the melody against her will. Her gaze slowly lifted to meet his, her eyes turning soft as she sang to him. “Turn down the lights. Turn down the bed. Turn down these voices inside my head.” As she sang, she released her grip on his jacket and caressed his cheek before pulling away from him and stepping back. 

“Lay down with me, tell me no lies. Just hold me close, don't patronize, don't patronize me.” She closed her eyes, turned and walked away as she continued to sing as she brought her hands up to her chest. “'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't.” She could feel tears welling up in her eyes as she sang to Dean, still not able to fight against the words forming and pouring out of her mouth. “Here in the dark, in these final hours. I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power.” She turned back towards him, opening her eyes and dropping her head as she continued. 

“But you won't, no you won't. 'Cause I can't make you love me…... If you don't…….” Esme wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes again, tears sliding down her cheeks. “I'll close my eyes, then I won't see. The love you don't feel…. When you're holding me. Morning will come and I'll do what's right, Just give me till then to give up this fight….And I will give up this fight.” Esme opened her eyes and took a couple of steps towards him, closing the gap and taking his hand in both of hers, looking at their hands. “'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't. Here in the dark, in these final hours. I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power.” 

She looked up into his eyes, with her tear filled ones as more tears slid down her cheeks. “But you won't, no you won't. 'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't…….” She hummed along with the end of the music and caressed his cheek one last time. Gasping for air, after the song finally ended. Esme released his hand and put some space between them, then turned her head away, dropping her gaze to the ground. “I…… I’m sorry.” she mumbled through her tears. She brought a hand up and wiped away her tears with a sniffle and shaky sigh. “I couldn’t fight it.” She had done the same thing he had done to her, sang out her hidden truth and couldn’t stop from doing it. She brought her arms around herself, placing her hands on her elbows before slowly looking back at him.