[h2]Esme Stirling[/h2]

Esme continued to walk by Dean’s side, back to Bobby’s in silence, with her hands in her jacket pockets. She looked at the ground ahead of her, thinking back on all the night's events and how bizarre and hurtful it had all been. Not really noticing, he was stomping away from her. She felt as if it had repeatedly stabbed and ripped her heart from her chest tonight. It still ached from it all. She sighed inwardly and shook her head softly to rid it of the thoughts running through it. She wanted the night to end; she wanted all the pain to stop; she wanted to find out who or what was doing this to them and for what purpose. 

She looked over at him when she felt his gaze on her, wincing a bit as she saw his bruised eye and the sadness within both. She tried to smile to show she was okay to go alone, but just couldn’t muster it and sighed. “You’re right.” she agreed. “My mental state hasn’t been like this in some time, but……” He cut off when he reached over and pulled her arm into his. She knew it was a comfort move. Pulling her hands from her pockets, she placed her free hand on his arm, giving it a small squeeze. “I don’t really want to go alone, but I’ll be alright to. You need to make sure she’s alright and see if you can calm her, that’s the important thing right now.” she whispered. 

After everything, she was half tempted to lay her head on his shoulder to comfort him more, but thought it would be a bad idea. “I’ll stick around if you want or need me to, but I’m going to stay out of her sight. I’m pretty sure she’d like to kill me right now. ” Esme fell silent as an image of Mika flashed before her, her face full of anger and hate with a gun pointed at her face. She gently shook it from her mind.  

Cupid popped in to watch them, a smile on his face now that they were completely alone together. He looked at the two and sighed happily. His plan to get them alone was working, even if it caused a few problems. As he watched the two walk, he thought this would be the perfect time for another song for them. His smile turned into a large grin as he whipped up another melody to play softly around them, steadily growing louder by the minute. 

Esme was doing her best to relax and calm her emotions, but she soon heard the melody start playing. She unconsciously gripped Dean’s arm and became tense as it became louder. She didn’t want to hear or sing another song tonight, but she soon felt the words bubbling up within her. She fought against them, closing her eyes tight, but they took hold of her and she began to sing once again. “I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me how's your family. I haven't seen them in a while….. You've been good, busier than ever, we small talk, work and the weather, your guard is up and I know why.” 

She loosened her grip on his arm as she opened her eyes, slowed her steps, and fell behind him. “Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses, and I left them there to die.” As she sang, she brought her arms up around herself, wishing she could stop and not continue, but the words continued to pour out from her mouth and heart. “So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying, ‘I'm sorry for that night’, and I'd go back to December all the time.” She fought against the urge to run up in front of him as she sang the words, and for once, won. Though she still couldn’t stop singing the song to Dean. 

“It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right. I go back to December all the time.” She fell further back from Dean, half wishing he’d turn around and place his hand over her mouth to stop her from singing, but also hoping he wouldn’t turn around and watch her sing. “These days, I haven't been sleeping, staying up, playing back myself leaving. When your birthday passed and I didn't call. And I think about summer, all the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side. Realized I loved you in the fall.” 

She held back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes from the words, she hated singing this even though the words were true and he probably needed to hear them. “And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was ‘Goodbye’. So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you, saying ‘I'm sorry for that night.’ And I'd go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.” Esme blinked away the tears in her eyes, still half wished he’d help her stop. 

She tried to bring her own hand to her mouth, but she couldn’t pull them from around herself. She screamed internally for the will to stop. “I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I go back to December all the time.” She tried again to pull her arms from around herself, this time only getting them as far up as her upper chest, gripping at her shirt. “I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right. And how you held me in your arms that September night. The first time you ever saw me cry. Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming, if we loved again I swear, I'd love you right.” 

She gripped her shirt tighter, hating she had to sing to him about love at a time like this. “I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't. So if the chain is on your door, I understand. But this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying, ‘I'm sorry for that night.’ And I'd go back to December…… It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I'd go back to December all the time…… All the time.”  

When the song was over and the melody died away, she took in a shaky breath, slowly letting it out as she felt herself shaking from the effort of trying to control her actions. Esme closed the gap that had formed between them as she sang, but still walked a bit behind him. Her hands were still up to her chest as she willed herself not to let her tears fall from her eyes, too many tears had been shed this night.