The first thing she sees are the stars. 

Out here, far from any city, the sky is awash with muted colours and a thousand thousand pinpricks of light. She spots the Lance, rising slowly over Mount Fang while, over there, the Lady's Veil trails its way across to the Talon and countless more. She names as many as she can, a habit formed from countless nights staring out the window back home, her only company a book or scroll lying open by the light of a fading candle. She remembers the promises made to herself in those lonely moments. 

The tableau should be calming. It should help her mind settle and refocus. But [i]why isn't it?[/i] The beauty of the stars, the deep breaths, the names and histories, it all feels like a single sheet of paper stretching across a deep and jagged chasm. Standing still is not working, she needs to [i]move[/i]. She doesn't pay attention to where she's going, it doesn't matter where, so long as it's [i]not here[/i].

[i]There's never been a princess knight in Lilly. They just don't do that. Never![/i]

Kalaya picks up speed, walking faster now. Batting branches out of her way when they dare to impede her path, footsteps crunching through the undergrowth. It's not loud enough. She can still hear the laughter.

[i]Leave her alone. It's not her fault she was born a weirdo.[/i]

[i]Ugh no way. I'm not really interested in all ... that stuff ... why would you even think I ... just ... no![/i]

[i]Go back to your little tower princess! Hah. As if you think you could ever make it.[/i]

Back in the palace, back with her parents. Tears in her eyes, hot and welling. Formal dresses, dinner balls, matchmaking. A crown and a flower in her hair. Stuffing all she wanted to be and was into something she was not. Breaking out only to be met with disappointed frowns. Over and over again. Until she couldn't take it anymore and just [i]burst.[/i]

[i]We're just wanting what's best for you. You'll thank us one day.[/i]

[i]Do you even have any friends, dear? I mean real friends, not imaginary or ones you read about in a book.[/i]

[i]Just give it a try, that's all we're asking. Just try behaving more ... properly.[/i]

[i]"Why NOW???"[/i]

She stops short, eyes wide and breathing ragged as that last shout, in her own voice, echoes in her head. It takes her a moment to focus back on the present and she's surprised to find her hand holding her dagger, a hair's breadth away from ramming it into the trunk of a nearby tree.

Startled, she drops it, sinking to the ground with her back against the bark and her head in her hands.

"Why now?" It's the question at the heart of all of this. If she has a destiny as a knight, if she is [i]meant [/i]to help the Flower Kingdoms, if the gods [i]needed[/i] her here to prevent some great calamity ... then why was the godling only coming to her [i]now[/i]?

Where were the gods on the lonely nights. Where were they when Kalaya could do nothing more than cry herself to sleep and hope, desperately, that tomorrow would be, [i]had [/i]to be, better? Where were they on the nights when she was so close to giving up and had nobody, and nothing, to believe in. Where the only thing that kept her going was the desire not to break that one promise to herself.

Did it mean that they [i]wanted [/i]her to go through all of that? That they meant for it to happen? Was it their goal that she pass through to harden into the person they needed her to be or some piece of [i]cosmic bullshit[/i] like that? And if it was, did Kalaya even want to help? Could she?

She sighed, sinking back and staring up to those stars again.

It wasn't fair. But could she really bring herself to threaten the Kingdoms over it?

That's when she hears it: the clash of swords. Her sword is already in her hand as she sprints through the undergrowth. The scene that the finds is one that would normally require some kind of assessment - but she's beyond thinking things through tonight. Instead she bursts from the treeline in a wordless yell of rage. Sword flashing as she throws herself upon the N'yari from the flank.

[Defy Disaster: 4+6+2=[b]12[/b] - Gallant Rescue grants a string on Ven]