[color=wheat][center][img]https://i.imgur.com/6Ssk19b.png[/img]

[img]https://i.imgur.com/dNIcpsa.png[/img]

[sub]A [@metanoia] & [@NeoAJ] Collaboration || featuring [color=b8860b]Marco Brady[/color] & [color=fd9100]Jill O’Brien[/color][/sub]
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[indent][indent]There was a growing feeling that Marco felt like he truly didn’t belong here. Not only because he was never the “southside” type, especially since it seemed his problems were from a different one than the ones they faced. While he was more focused on making the soccer team and passing his finals, all of those affiliated with the Southside Serpents were trying to survive life across the tracks. People like Jade Taylor were trying not to completely lose it when a wave of unfavorable circumstances came in full steam.

It just didn’t click with him. And part of Marco’s mind wondered just how...well how disconnected he was. Him being here because he wanted to be there for Lanie could only carry him so far until it lost its meaning. Because, sure there were moments during Rey Rey Gonzalez’s story that he found himself thinking about why he really was here. Danny told him he needed to be here because of what happened. That somehow he needed closure about the shooting. Was that the truth? Or did Marco, in some masochistic way, want to punish himself more by diving headfirst into the very thing that stripped him of his dreams?

He just didn’t know.

As he became so dedicated in trying to figure it out by himself, there was a moment when Allison Davies’ photo was shown and Marco immediately brought his blue-eyed gaze to Lanie. In the moments after, she dipped faster than a series of blinks. In five she was out the door and Marco felt the pressure in both the literal sense and emotionally to follow her. It pained him to walk. It was torture putting any unnecessary pressure on his legs. But Marco did it because he wanted to be there for her.

But then when he got out the door and was halfway down the steps, those steps that were...well, a bitch, to walk up, were even worse going down because the bone-crunching pressure put on them with every step was enough to make Marco keel over.

After the third one, he had to take a breather. 

As he sat down, he couldn’t say where Lanie was or even what direction she ran off in. The only thing he knew for certain was how much his legs ached and his genuine shock that there were still some cannoli’s left. Truly the longest battle ever since the old Goku vs Frieza on Planet Namek fight. Or any opening/ending cutscene of a Square Enix video game with Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy in its name.

[color=b8860b]“I wonder what Ma is doing right now,”[/color] Marco heard himself say. 

He had zoned out for a few minutes, thinking about an alternate reality where he skipped tonight and stayed home like he wanted to. He only registered back into the real world when someone came down the stairs. He did his best to move over that caused him the least amount of pain. As they walked down, it was only a moment that took Marco to realize who it was.

[color=b8860b]“Jill?”[/color] He called out as she was nearly down the entirety of the stairs. [color=b8860b]“Everything okay?”[/color]

It was going to be tough for Jillian to answer that question, given it had been a long time since she had even seen okay to make some sort of comparison. 

If she wanted to talk specifically about the events tonight, absolutely not. Between the continued reminder that few people in her orbit during her high school days even cared what happened to her, similar to Allison’s treatment tonight by other members of their traveling party, the mental breakdown in the hallway, the gruesome reminders of what had happened to her idol on the last night of her life, Mei taking a swing at one of the most dangerous men in town and getting carted away by Roddy in the process, and now staring down a long wait in the hopes that Kylee would pick up and be able to give her a ride outta this place, even by recent standards, it seemed like things were not OK. 

And she did nothing about it. All that bravado she was spouting at the start of the night had long since evaporated. She couldn’t even bring herself to defend Allison’s honor while that fucking stalker Poppy James kept trying to defend that absolute monster Charlie Decker. There were so many things she wanted to get off her chest, but she couldn’t do it. She wanted to yell at Poppy that Allison had more people that cared about her than Charlie ever would, and that she needed to shut her face. She needed to know how hard it was for those who lost so many people when Charlie took the actions he did. Jillian knew how hard it was to be in that position that Allison was in and what that stress does to your head. She wanted to defend the fallen.

But Jillian couldn’t say the damn words. Someone who had taken the lead in the face of all the adversity in the past couldn’t say a damn thing to anyone. It was like she was swallowed up by the moment. It was sad.

She didn’t even have her empty bottle for comfort anymore. After what happened, she abandoned it with the remains of parties not cleaned up and snuck underage beverages. With Mei tied up, of course no one wanted to check on her. No one gives a damn about fallen queens.  

Except Marco, apparently. That he bothered enough to ask got Jill to halt her march off the premises. She rattled a couple of thoughts around in her brain, a couple of responses that would serve to deflect and end the conversation. She had gotten enough practice with her mother in recent months to be an old pro by now.

But there were so many thoughts and emotions in there. The anger at Poppy daring to throw Allison under the rug to glorify a thug who had already taken away so many in her life. The sadness that she couldn’t do anything to go back and change anything about that night, and there was a lot that could do with some changing. The fear dredged up by the trail blazed during the evening. 

And the happiness when Mei’s forehead kiss pierced through all that mess for one shining moment.

Maybe it was time some of those thoughts got out of her head. There was no alcohol available to shut them down for the moment, anyway.

[color=fd9100]“Not really, no,”[/color] Jill finally answered after what seemed like an eternity but in reality couldn’t have been more than 10 seconds. She turned around, eyes still bleary from her various outbursts of the evening, and looked over the stoop to see if there was enough room for her to sit without blocking the main exit out of the building. 

It looked like there was something closer to the bottom step, so she slowly made her way over and plunked herself down in front of Marco. A weary sigh escaped her lips as she settled on the rotting wood. There was another bit of doubt as to what she was about to engage in. She didn’t know Marco that well anymore. Sure, they were in similar circles given he was an athlete and she was a cheerleader. They were friendly enough at parties that they could share a beverage and not look awkward.

That was a lifetime ago, and Marco arrived with two links to that lifetime that seemed to have no interest in showing any semblance of contrition for their prior crimes. Who was to say he wouldn’t just follow Danny and Lanie’s examples and offer up nothing but scorn and icy indifference?

Maybe Jillian needed a reason to believe this conversation could be different. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try. It couldn’t go any worse than most of the things that happened tonight.

[color=fd9100]“Tonight has been a lot. In more ways than one.”[/color] The slurring that had dominated her speech for the majority of the night seemed to be fading away without any reason to yell and spit. [color=fd9100]“I knew it was gonna be, and yet, here I am. With no answers, no friends and nowhere to go from here. So I don’t think I’m OK, Marco, if that answers your question.”[/color]

Right, so that was a stupid question. Marco should have figured that if Lanie wasn’t handling the Allison thing well, especially with how she darted out of the house not even a moment after her picture was out, Marco should’ve had the awareness to assume that Jill wouldn’t be in a great state about it, either. Yet another reason why he wouldn’t make a great detective like his father. But it wasn’t a total loss. As he sat there, looking at Jill with a slight frown, though most of it was the uncertainty of what to say, some of it faded when Marco realized Jill wasn’t completely right about something she said.

[color=b8860b]“Well, that’s not exactly true--”[/color] In typical Marco Brady fashion, he started with a misleading statement. [color=b8860b]“--I mean, you said you had no friends, but you have one sitting right in front of you.”[/color] He offered her a smile and opened up the box of lonely cannolis in his hands. A few still remained. Well, by a few, there were still about seven left. [color=b8860b]”And I can say with confidence that this friend comes bearing gifts!”[/color]  He lifted up the box. [color=b8860b]“Go on, take one. You won’t regret it!”[/color]

There was a lot of hesitation on Jillian’s part. Cannolis had once been a staple of her diet thanks to her hookup in the Belmonte family. However, she practically swore off them by proxy when she cut Danny out of her life for what he did. She knew they still were coming into the household and that it wasn’t hard to guess the source. She caught Grace scarfing down a not-so-mysteriously sourced cannoli more than once, and that was an image she did not need burned in her mind given why she wasn’t eating them anymore. She looked at the offered dessert and knew they were one in the same to the ones she previously enjoyed. Sure, the dappling on the crust was a little different, a little rougher, but the flecks in the filling indicating the presence of finely chopped almonds was definitely a Belmonte touch. It felt like she was betraying herself for even thinking of taking one of the symbols of what was lost in high school.

But this was a night of going through the past, and there were so many things that couldn’t be saved and couldn’t be brought back to life. Wasn’t it worthwhile to try and grab something that was able to be retrieved? Besides, those Hole in the Wall chicken wings seemed like eons ago.

Jillian finally took one of the offered cannolis in her hand. The lightweight pastry felt like a bowling ball on her palm. Her solution was to quickly take a bite to lessen the load and instantly, the memories came flooding back. The flaky crust, the sweetened cream whipped to perfection, the hint of almonds peeking through. It had been long years without the taste, but right now all it was doing was offering her a reminder of the good times. Long before high school, when things were simpler and the pressure hadn’t gotten to her yet. It was divine. Now the only regret she had in regards to taking Marco up on his offer was turning away all those peace offerings when she could have stayed mad at Danny and still gotten her fill.

[color=fd9100][i]Damn it Danny. How could I let you take this away from me…[/i][/color]

Savoring the flavors as long as she could, she finally swallowed and looked up at Marco, clearly pleased with himself seeing Jillian go into the Italian specialty. [color=fd9100]“Well, you were right about at least one thing. Gives you a pretty good chance of being right about the others.”[/color] She licked a bit of filling that looked like it might have given in to gravity’s wishes for a taste. [color=fd9100]“So, tell me friendo. How are you dealing with all this shit? I’d have to eat all the cannolis you got to feel anywhere near as chipper as you look.” [i]I also don’t need to instantly gain 20 pounds. Especially not if I’m actually serious about making a run at the Edge.[/i][/color]

Marco was not only happy to see that Jill didn’t hesitate to take him up on the offer, but there was an improvement of sorts on her face. Again, Marco wasn’t observant like other people he knew, but the difference was noticeable. She didn’t seem as hesitant and he would take that as a good sign. Even despite all that was revealed, there was a glimmer of hope and he took comfort in that. But suddenly the roles were reversed somehow and Marco was the one who found himself hesitating. Not because he didn’t know how to respond, but he just didn’t know what to say specifically. 

[color=b8860b]“Not sure what you mean.”[/color] It was partially the truth. Marco was struggling to come up with an answer for Jill, but he knew he had to speak candidly with her. Not only because of the terror revelations they all had to bear witness to, but Marco considered Jill a friend; and she seemed to consider him as one, too. He owed her at least [i]something[/i]. [color=b8860b]“I’m just trying to stay strong for everyone. I mean, I guess I’m just here to help my friends get through this. I mean, my relation to Alison wasn’t as close as maybe yours and Lanie’s were. I know that not only do I want to be, but I [i]need[/i] to be that shoulder any of you guys can rely on.”[/color]

That kind of hurt. Jillian knew she wasn’t strong anymore. Tonight, she had to rely on Mei to pull her out of her depressive spiral, Danny to pull her dumb ass towards the locker triggering the depressive spiral, and now Marco to pull her away from what was more than likely going to be another lonely trip to scrounge up whatever drugs she could find to take her mind off everything. It was hard to be a pillar when everything kept getting knocked out from under her.

[color=fd9100]“At least one of us might be able to do that,”[/color] she said with a melancholic tint. It was tough to fight the waves of self-pity that were coming with this current train of thought. Her mind continued to roll all over the place, but right now sadness was taking the lead. [color=fd9100]“Feels like I’ve had to try and fuckin’ do that for so long.”[/color] Jillian didn’t look up at Marco, instead staring out into the street while her hand held onto the remaining half of the cannoli. [color=fd9100]“I can’t do it any more. I don’t have the energy. I don’t have the strength. I don’t have the fuckin’ space left in my brain to be able to add any more weight. I’m just a damn failure now. A glimpse of what awaited Ally if we actually saved her that night. I’ve got nothin’ left to give, Marco, and I don’t even know who’d want it if I had it.”[/color]

[color=b8860b]“I feel that to my core.”[/color]

Hearing Jill speak and the words that came from her mouth, he felt that familiar taste of self-sabotaging poison come back at him and it transported him back to a time when he was more than just the shoulder to cry on, but rather the friend that could do more than just that. Marco was the guy who, when he was in his best shape, he’d entertain, he would do imitations -- sometimes physical ones -- just to bring smiles to his friends’ faces. Now, however, he couldn’t do much of anything. His glory days were behind him and being here at a house where the worst thing that happened to him was being forced by Kylee Grimm to talk to Danny, he just didn’t feel like he belonged anymore.

And maybe he hated that Danny forced him here because his ex thought he needed answers. [color=b8860b]“You know, I used to be more than this.”[/color] Marco took a moment to look himself up and down. His gut curved and his legs were shaking slightly. Even when sitting, he was a mess from the waist down. [color=b8860b]“You probably remember during foot--soccer season--”[/color] The boy laughed, forgetting for a moment that what he was so used to calling football wasn’t actually that.[color=b8860b] “I mean, I was the star player on the soccer team. I don’t like to brag about it because, well given what happened cause of [i]him[/i], I just...well it’s not a memory I’m fond of thinking about, but before then, I know people said I could go pro. But it was more than that. I could actually be somebody to people who thought the world of me. They used to tell me that I didn’t need to be more than who I was; that somehow just me being happy was enough for them.”[/color] 

Marco’s smile faded, thinking about how his parents often told him that over and over. He might’ve believed it at one point, but after the shooting and he went through hell at rehab, Marco didn’t know anymore. The pain he went through didn’t even compare to the constant pity party he has been throwing himself since then. In moments when he wasn’t around his family or people in his life who could see right through the facade -- like Danny -- he just couldn’t fake it anymore. 

[color=b8860b]“So, trust me, I know what that’s like, Jill. And I don’t have any answers that will make it easier, but..”[/color] For the first time in a while, Marco smiled and took Jill’s free hand, [color=b8860b]“I’m here. And no matter what happens or, well regardless of anything, you can always rely on me if you just want to talk or anything, really.”[/color]

This was weird. Given the doubts that Jillian had been having recently about ever being able to trust a man, why was this situation working out so well? Was it the old "misery loves company" axiom at play? 

It made sense Marco could sympathize given what happened to him post-Edenridge. Jillian did cheer at her fair share of soccer games. She knew what Marco could do before… well, before he couldn't any more. She kind of forgot about that when just seeing him on the stoop. Like she was forgotten. Life in the south was mean to those who couldn't sustain a pathway out.

As Marco's hand embraced her own, the first masculine touch since Mike's final one, more thoughts emerged, thoughts long dormant. What was this? Sympathy? Empathy? It wasn't sexual or anything, it definitely didn't have that energy. It was nice though. Something she hadn’t had since Danny went and fucked up. Jill let out another sigh, one with more relief behind it than anything else. Knowing there was someone out there that had a feeling of what she was going through on her side of the window. Especially if she needed a friend more than a love-… no. Mei wasn't… not yet. Was there a yet? Was that a thing?

Would Marco be able to understand that question? 

[color=fd9100]"You know, I was gonna take pre-law at BC?"[/color] she started. [color=fd9100]"Because I was so calm and composed in the face of the shooting, people thought I would be a shoo-in for being a lawyer or a politician or something. But that shit took so much out of me, having to try and pretend like everything was all right and that we were gonna make it through. Maybe Ally could have done that. I don't think I did. And then when Mike came back… maybe I just fucked myself into this spot. And I don't know what to do to unfuck it. I have an idea, maybe, but…"[/color] Jill trailed off at the end, still unsure if she wanted to say the things she thought she was feeling.  [color=fd9100]"I don't even know if that could be a way. If it's even possible."[/color] She stopped abruptly, unsure if she even wanted to continue down this lane of thought with someone who wasn't Mei, but Mei wasn't an option in this case.

For the longest moment to exist in the history of moments, Marco found himself staring at Jill with a weird mix of confusion and curiosity on his face. The boy’s blue eyes were narrowed slightly, head tilted to the left only by a few centimeters, and lips partially opened. Whenever Marco was trying to process something, this was the face he made. It wasn’t a great poker face, but every time he gamed and tried to figure out something that was throwing him, he made that face. [color=b8860b]“What do you mean, Jill?”[/color] He asked, trying to read her face. That’s what his father did, right? As a detective, Colin Brady had to judge the face, so Marco was trying to as well. He had a thought of what she might be wanting to say, but Marco had been wrong about things like this so many times, so he didn’t state it. Instead, he said, [color=b8860b]“I’m not sure I follow.”[/color]

Jillian’s eyes were darting around as if trying to find the words to lead this boy where she herself was trying to get to. [color=fd9100][i]Am I fucking sure about this? I mean, I know I told Mei I couldn’t do it, but… fuck that night. Fuck that stupid night with Mike. Would I have just been happier if I never bothered with him? Or any of those other randos in high school? Would I have been able to save Ally if I wasn’t busy slurping that piece of shit?[/i][/color] That last thought brought a grimace to her face that she tried to hide with another bite of cannoli. Maybe the sweet treat would buy her some time. [color=fd9100][i] … Fuck. It just… Fuck…[/i][/color]

She swallowed and while her face pointed at Marco, her eyes still looked away, as if to make sure that no one else was in earshot to hear her. [color=fd9100]“I… I think… I think I’m done with men… and I’m in love with a girl… and I don’t think it matters anymore to anyone except me and her… but it’s the only good I can see in this stupid life right now…”[/color] Now her eyes were locked on to Marco, with the difficult part out of the way. [color=fd9100]“And I dunno if it’s actually something, or just a product of this shit, but, I dunno. I just feel it more and more lately.”[/color]

[color=b8860b]“Damn..”[/color] Marco couldn’t find the words he wanted because, honestly, that was something that he remembered saying to himself when he was starting to feel things for Danny. That sort of doubt and various ‘could he’ -type of questions that crept into his mind and had him lay awake at night thinking of the various scenarios. Anything from the best case to worst case, Marco remembered entertaining every single one of them. Of course, it was different from Jill’s case, but he couldn’t ignore some of the similarities to them, either.

[color=b8860b]“Sometimes you just have to follow your heart. I mean, I won’t pretend to know Mei inside and out or anything, but she sounds like she’s pretty damn important to you, now more than ever.”[/color] Marco bit his lip, trying to find the right words. [color=b8860b]“You know, it’s kind of funny. You and I have similar experiences with love. Not the same circumstances, but I found myself doubting if I was in love with someone. It was complicated and not traditional, but there [i]was[/i] a time that we were together and, I guess what I’m trying to say is that life is short. So if you really feel strongly for her, you should see if there’s anything there.”[/color]

The red had spread to Jillian’s cheeks now. She didn’t realize that her friend had such a bead on exactly who she was talking about. [color=fd9100]“That obvious it was Mei, huh?”[/color]

Marco laughed somewhat nervously, a smile returning to his face. [color=b8860b]“Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume. Just seemed like an obvious thing, y’know? Kinda like how Wolverine and Jean Grey were hot for each other. Or.. ya know something like that.”[/color]

The reference went a little above what the O’Brien girl could remember at the moment. Vague memories of seeing an X-Men movie with Danny back in the day, although she knew Jean Grey was in it because Sophie Turner was goals. But that was besides the point. If even Marco could see what was happening from a broad overview of the situation, what was stopping Jillian from actually acting on it? Mei’s feelings? The redhead could still feel that kiss underneath her bangs from earlier. There was obviously some level of care there, especially given how their relationship had grown from that first night here up to tonight. 

Jillian’s reputation? What fucking reputation was there to worry about? She had nothing. Just a tragic figure, drifting like a lazy ghost through the south side. She could still hear murmurs about her lost child from time to time when she dared venture out during the day. It’s why she didn’t do it very often anymore.

Her financial situation? Not like it would damage that any worse than it was now. As far as she knew, her mother wasn’t prejudiced against same-sex relationships. How could she be given the parade of people across the gender spectrum Grace brought home on regular intervals to this day? Her dad might have had some questions, but he wasn’t around to pass judgement anymore. Besides, she was probably going to end up at Mei’s tonight anyway. She spent a lot of time over there. If they lived together it would probably make things easier and…

[color=fd9100][i]Fucking hell. Simmer down, Jill. Stop planning the patio layout when the house isn’t even built yet.[/i][/color]

At least Marco seemed to have an idea on how to handle it. She didn’t know who he was talking about with his experiences. She didn’t exactly pry into his love life during the high school days and she had no idea who he would be after now. She figured Lanie dragged him out. Was that a thing? No, no it couldn’t be.

She gave the impression that she was still debating the Mei question, but that was now answered. This was going to have to be something she pushed on in more lucid times. But she wanted to know. [color=fd9100]“How did that story end between you and that unconventional lover, Marco?”[/color]

[color=b8860b]“That’s...not a simple answer…”[/color]

And suddenly, like a flick of a switch, Marco’s entire body felt tight. He hadn’t thought about Danny nor their breakup (if you could even call it that) since it happened. Truth was, Marco had been running away from a lot more than the shooting and everything that seemed to come with it. He had been running away from his feelings about Danny, and maybe if he was being honest with himself, his feelings [i]for[/i] Danny. 

He secluded himself in his room under the guise that he was still recovering from the shooting. And after he finished PT with Roddy, sure that held some truth, but there was a lot more. Deep down, maybe it was that Marco hadn’t faced the other traumatic event in his life that happened. [color=b8860b]“I mean, I never really thought about it since it happened. We weren’t out [i]out[/i] or anything. I mean, things for him weren’t like me. Or at least I don’t think they were.”[/color] Crap, Marco realized that didn’t make any sense. [color=b8860b]“Sorry, I just haven’t talked about it with anyone, really.”[/color]

And he hasn’t truly faced it, either. 

Jill wasn’t expecting a simple answer, but she was going to take an answer from Marco one way or the other, and the one she got wasn’t satisfactory. Not for someone who may be the first person she just admitted true feelings to that wasn’t Mei for the first time in over a year. [color=fd9100]“Well, maybe it’s the time to talk about it,”[/color] she countered. [color=fd9100]“I mean, I just talked with you about shit I haven’t told anyone else, in the world, and you know what? It actually felt good for a change. To actually talk about that shit instead of hoping there was another bottle of Smirnoff kicking around my room to try and drown it out instead. I don’t know if the vodka’s still talking now, but if it is, it might actually be making a good choice for once. So here’s what we’re gonna do, Marco. I’m gonna sit here, I’m gonna eat the rest of this cannoli that I have fucking missed dearly, and while I do that, you’re gonna talk about it with me. Fair is fair, right? If I’m having big personal revelations and shit, then you should too. So start talking about it.”[/color] She took a fairly big bite out of the remaining cannoli to emphasize her point.

Marco didn’t speak for a while. Ten seconds, twenty seconds...twenty-five seconds of silence and thinking about what she said. In that allotted time, Marco heard Jill crunch on the cannoli. And even though he missed Danny, missed...just missed being around him, maybe for the first time he couldn’t think about Danny in a positive light. 

And that gutted him worse than getting shot. The fact that he was thinking about the man he loved and not every thought that came pouring out was a good one. Maybe Jill was right. She wasn’t close to Marco but she confided in him. Maybe it was time for Marco to talk about it with [i]someone[/i]. [color=b8860b]“Well, I guess since you’re not leaving me with much of a choice…”[/color] Marco let his words fade off into a low chuckle. [color=b8860b]“So, there was this boy. You know, I met him in freshman year. I wasn’t even out then, but he was all I could think about. And through whatever series of fortunate events, we had moments where we’d just hang, ya know? And then we’d hang out some more, eventually being together. But he was so deep in the closet, I don’t think he even knew that’s what it was. So we dated in secret. Met at Lyon Park, met at my house when nobody was home. Basically did everything we could to be out of public view. And it was nice. We had each other and that’s all that should have mattered, right?”[/color]

Marco fell silent and looked down. He fiddled his thumbs together and he felt the tension in his shoulders increase even more. Even as his arms started to shake, he continued: [color=b8860b]“But junior prom came and we got into it. I wanted to go public. I didn’t want to hide anymore but he just...well, I guess he just didn’t feel the same way.”[/color] The silence took over yet again and Marco bit his lip. This had been the first time he’d told anyone this. He didn’t even think about it as much anymore. Thinking about it and what came after was too painful. Nothing would change but sometimes, when Marco found himself feeling he needed a good dose of pain, he let himself relive that night over and over again to remind him that he wasn’t as strong as his parents like to believe he was.

As the cannoli shrunk to a bite, Jill had to pause and concentrate on what Marco was saying, especially in regards to the secrecy that was required. She should have figured it was a little harder for guys to enjoy their love freely in public than girls. But apparently Marco had to pull some deep cover back in the day. Jillian had no idea Marco was gay back then. He certainly hid it well enough. It’s a shame high-school bullshit had to go and apparently wreck things. It was good at doing that. She couldn’t remember much about junior prom. Kat was excited that she had locked down Lucas Hayes as her date, much to Liv’s dismay. Danny showed up with… actually she couldn’t remember who he showed up with. It was a little bit before he fucked up their friendship, but it had to be some bimbo given the lack of decorum he had in regards to everything. Thinking back, these would be painful memories of friends lost, but Jill had relived them so often she was usually numb to them at this point. Marco, however, didn’t appear to have that particular ability. 

Seeing the boy clearly in a state trying to recall those events, twitching like he just shotgunned 12 cups of coffee, it occurred to her that maybe some comfort was needed. Some of the old sweetness long thought erased by tragedy and cocktails might just have been drawn out of the darkness after all this time. Jill popped the last of the cannoli in her mouth and turned around to grab both of Marco’s hands in her own in an effort to ease the worries. [color=fd9100]“I’m sorry you had that done to you, Marco,”[/color] she offered. [color=fd9100]“High school is fucking awful. I’m sorry you gave your heart to someone who didn’t treasure it and treat it with the respect it deserved.”[/color] Yet another painful subject that Jill had to dull with her efforts of the past year. [color=fd9100]“I know how fucking difficult it can be to feel like you have that trust with someone, and then just have it broken because… well… because they suck. But you know what? Someone out there, someone you may know now, someone you may not have met yet, that someone wants to be with you fully and completely. Someone wants to be able to go to the park with you in broad daylight. Someone wants to meet the people you care about. Someone wants that shit. I can’t tell you they are coming soon. I can’t fucking tell you if they are right in front of your face and you just don’t see it. But someone is going to find you, and appreciate the fuck out you, pain and all. They’ll be able to make you laugh and cry and give you that dance you didn’t get at junior prom. They will support you at your fucking worst. And if you’re lucky, you’ll be able to do the same for them for as long as you both want.”[/color] This was rambling a bit, but in Jill’s mind this was every pump up speech she ever remembered from the movies rolled into one. [color=fd9100]“So, I don’t know who this guy was, but he must have been a fucking idiot to not want to be seen with someone as sweet and nice as you, and I hope he feels that regret every day. But you don’t deserve that shit.”[/color] She tried to lean in for a friendly hug, but her aim still wasn’t great and it turned into more of a one-handed wrap. [color=fd9100]“And thank you for telling me that. Couldn’t have been easy, but hey, maybe I’m still a good leader by example when I wanna be.”[/color]

Marco found himself giving Jill’s hands a gentle squeeze. He couldn’t let himself smile much, though. Not because he didn’t appreciate her support and, honestly, her company as well. But what she said about Danny. Even though it’s been more than two years since all of that, Marco couldn’t bring himself to hate his ex or even feel anything negative in that regard. Honestly, he didn’t know what he felt. And maybe Jill was right about a revelation coming to him. He knew the only person who could help him sort...whatever it was he was feeling might just be the very cause of his complicated tornado that were his emotions.

[color=b8860b]“I know you will be. I’m glad we had this chance to talk. It was nice being able to talk to someone who didn’t show pity on me and who I used to be, ya know?”[/color] He softly smiled at Jill.

She snorted softly at that. [color=fd9100]“Would be fucking hypocritical if I did that, wouldn’t it?”[/color] She leaned back up, still not sure if that snort really came out of her. It was something younger Jillian did, but hadn’t really made itself heard in a while. [color=fd9100]“Honestly, this may be the best thing to come out of this whole fucked-up evening. Well, that and realizing I’m probably coming out soon. But hey, at least I got someone who can navigate all this shit for me. Or with me. Whatever. Think we both got some crap on that path to deal with.”[/color] At least there was now backup in the 1% chance something did go wrong with her confession to Mei. Would it come tonight? Jill was going to spend the night at the Ramsey place one way or the other. Maybe there would be a moment. [color=fd9100][i]Least I know this big moment is coming. One way or the other. No surprises. Just a shot at the dark. I’ll be ready.[/i][/color]

Marco couldn’t help but chuckle. Not to mock her, of course, but just that he couldn’t help but think about Lanie. He had come wobbling out of the house because he wanted to find her. She darted out of the house so fast that he didn’t even get past the stoop. And now he was thinking about Lanie back when he first came out. The situation and circumstances were different for him than Jill, of course, but he couldn’t help but think about how Lanie was there for him, giving him strength and the assurance that he couldn’t give himself. She was the person who made him feel confident when he finally came out as bisexual to his family and even to some others close to him.

As he tried to stand up, Marco gripped the handrail for support. Stiff limbs cracked with the kind of sound one heard when they’ve been sitting too long. He grunted and grimaced and made sounds of mild discomfort, but he did it. As he held his hand out for Jill, he’d show her at least [i]some[/i] strength that he knew he had in him to help her up too, though he probably didn’t need to. [color=b8860b]“I wouldn’t have it any other way, [i]friend[/i]!”[/color] He just smiled at her. Jill was definitely right about one thing: this new closeness they had, it was probably the best thing that could have happened. A surprising light in the darkness. [/indent][/indent][/color]