What was it that made her believe in a universe without death? It followed her in every waking moment. It followed her into her dreams. It stared at her in every bursting nebula and twinkling star she had the misfortune to notice when she tilted her head too far up. It clawed at her skirts in every minor skirmish and fight, no matter how certain of victory she was. 

The universe without death hadn't stopped Admiral Odoacer from killing hundreds right in front of her. It hadn't stopped Lorventi from casually offering it as a solution to unwanted ship guests. It hadn't even stopped [i]her.[/i] So why? Why did the Master of Assassins make the air feel like she was swallowing needles? Why was her heart tripping over itself in bizarre beats to squeeze blood through her body like it was desperate to keep from being stopped forever? 

XIII closes her eyes while she mumbles disconnected facts and figures through dry, crackling lips. No matter how hard she tries, her mind can't trace the image she wants. The dazzlingly intense and piercing eyes of Her Imperial Majesty Nero IV, so full of such obvious genius that it was impossible to disagree with her proclamations. And her beautiful smile that hinted at a heart filled with infinite kindness that made it impossible to [i]want[/i] to disagree with her. All the beauty of Redana made fully realized and more mature than the princess could ever hope to be... but out here, she's nothing. A figure in a textbook to be recited at the Ikarani.

She is aware of the cold sweat dripping down her chin. It freezes her skin until her cheeks start to tingle with a disgusting clammy sensation, but she doesn't dare raise an arm to wipe it away. Her fingers clench around her script instead, and she winces as the sound of tearing paper fills her ears as if it were the universe ripping apart instead. 

"Y-you're..."

And then, the most beautiful violet eyes she's ever seen look straight at her. And they wink. XIII's mouth falls open and her lungs forget how to draw in air. A drop of sweat drips off her face onto her hand, and in an instant her body switches from freezing to burning as her blood catches fire with embarrassment. Her filthy traitor neck won't even turn away so she can hide her reaction from the perfect information sponge with perfect detail recall. 

"You're," her tongue feels smothered and stupid as she fumbles for the right (or any) words, "Beautiful."

Hotter. How could she burn any hotter than this, unless somebody threw her into a star? A jumble of other thoughts crash through her brain, and none of them do a fucking thing to help her. Just standing here in this room feels impossible right now, like the floor is constantly shifting under her feet with increasing speed the more she tries to straighten out and present a respectable [s]impressive and desirable[/s] figure. All the blood in her head is screaming for somebody to catch her. It turns her face almost as crimson as her Auspex, but at least it finally pushes her gaze nearer the ground where it's safe.

"...E-everyone's talked about you like you're a monster or a bomb for so long I thought. Hrn, I thought you'd be... d-different. You got a name? You must. All the others do. What is it?"

She swallows with enough force to turn it audible. Every inch of her skin is crawling with embarrassment, but also with shame. Her mind floods with images of those beautiful eyes, watching her until they open so wide they turn glassy and unfocused. She sees the Ikarani twisting into a weapon that will crack the planet in half while crying in a melodious, all-too-human voice for somebody to take her hand. Then each vision is swallowed by darkness until she's no more real than the memory of Nero's smile.

XIII tries swallowing again, but her mouth has turned too dry and she only winds up quietly choking instead. Her fingers clench tight enough to jab her claws into her palms, and she shakes her head as if this single gesture could undo every mistake in her life that's lead her to this moment.

One thing is certain: she would regret allowing that coffin to open. She should never have agreed. Why? Why did all these Adepts have to be... people?