[@Squad 404] for Ruina
[hider]

All in all, we actually enjoy Ruina, she is clearly well thought out and certainly well described and fairly original for a destruction god to boot! One of the biggest questions we are left with is how can she be polite while destroying things? If a god or mortal politely asked her to not do something destructive against them would she not do her thing? It seems as a bit of a contradiction to politely kick over a kid’s sandcastle, so they could do with a bit of explaining or rewording. 

Additionally, we want to know how she goes about her destructive rampages. Does she send natural disasters to mortals to test them? Does she go into combat and just smite everything in the general vicinity? Or does she corrupt things like taking some people and turning them into the orcs or goblins? We do like how she views her own aspect. We just want to know a bit more on how she’s going to go about things!

Lastly, the origin took me by shock myself personally but the others told me to look at a different angle and I found myself to tolerate it. Obviously it is not a section we asked for but the concept itself is fine, we do want to make the clarification that we’d like to actually see this play out in your first post or two.

All in all, Ruina is accepted on the grounds that you clarify how she does her thing and explain that little paradoxical politeness of hers.
[/hider]

[@Commodore] for Yoliyachicoztl

[hider]
Long and complicated as far as the name goes, to pop which we will praise you IMMENSELY for making that marvel of a BBCode. It looks nice and we love it. 

Our primary concern with Yoliyachicoztl is that the Aspect has some of us unconvinced that it might actively do much, it is a specific category such as heat after all. You name a few uses such as burning things, diverting lava, and the likes but we think what would make your aspect immensely better would be if you considered to take on an emotional connotation with it as well, an example being could ‘heat’ be taken to mean anger? It is mostly food for thought, and heat certainly is not invalid  as an aspect we are just afraid there may not be much for it. Additionally, we feel that it’s important to clarify whether Heat allows you to remove heat, as doing so would most likely step on Zee’s toes, as he’s aiming at Cold as his Aspect.

Now, the personality section is certainly something that we enjoy as she seems erratic and obsessive and takes on her [i]burning[/i] passion! We like it a whole lot, so good job there!

Accepted once you do a few edits to the aspect so that way it gives us a clearer path and more options with how it is described!
[/hider]

[@Leotamer] for Palus

[hider]
So, we do have a problem with how short the sheet is, it is pushing the limits of minimalism with only having a few lines per section.

With how you described Toxin, it is incredibly narrow and some of us are concerned with if you will have enough to do with it. We suggest that maybe it should be broadened to be something such as “Alchemy” as we had noticed that you wanted to include some positives with an otherwise negative, and mostly harmful, Aspect such as Toxins. We get some Parvus vibes from the ye olde Mk. III but insects were an easier portfolio to interact with and more importantly a bit broader. 

Moving onto the personality, it has us somewhat optimistic with a specific line showing great promise to us, “His stoicism is born from his desire to protect the world from himself.” It shows us that Palus has the option of a complex-emotional journey that could be extremely interesting to read, though we have our reservations because it would be hard to pull off. We are afraid that Palus will go into isolation and hiding, something the Monarch would not want any of his subjects to do and would lead to an otherwise boring character than none would wish to interact with.

With how the sheet is currently, we unfortunately cannot accept it. I personally wish to see a bit more, try to escape that minimalism and give him more meat on those bare bones, the aspect needs to be reworked.

As was stated in our Super-Secret-DM-Discord-Channel the writing is fine and the ideas have potential.
[/hider]