[@Theyra] for Voi
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In the last iteration that I was a part of (Mk. III) I had a similar character to yours, so the others really wanted me to be the one to give feedback to you. The Aspect has potential and I’m glad this niche is being filled, however some elaboration is warranted and probably necessary so that the details are ironed out and everyone is on the same page about how something as important as souls, death, and ghosts etc. is supposed to work in the setting. It seems that you are establishing that reincarnation is not really a thing (or if it is; it’s an irregularity and would probably only happen with magic or some other god’s intervention), that souls exist inside even the basest form of life like plants and bacteria (and are souls found even in rocks and nature too, perhaps? Some real religions believed in that sort of animism; I think it’s found in Shinto for instance, and in Greek mythos the rivers had personified spirits in the form of nymphs, etc.), and that all souls go to some sort of afterlife after death with exceptions once again being an irregularity, and that news souls are constantly created as things are born and there’s an unlimited supply or source of ‘soul stuff’. All fine and good, but correct any misunderstanding here if it exists, so that we can firmly establish how the souls and death in this setting is supposed to work.

So then I have some further questions, specifically: what sorts of things [i]can[/i] Voi do with your idea of a Soul Aspect, and what sorts of things do you plan to have him do? I take it his powers include claiming the souls of the dead and sending them to appropriate afterlives, maybe even constructing said afterlives and/or delivering judgement to punish or reward the dead for their deeds in life? With the Soul Aspect do you also intend to take jurisdiction over ghosts etc.? It can be quite limited and I’m just trying to make sure you have enough stuff to do, because it feels like you might spend a few posts creating an underworld and such as a one-and-done, and then wind up thinking, “Now what’s left to do?” In my case, my character was working under a quite different system of souls where they all had to be ‘recycled’ and destroyed so that new life could be made through reincarnation or sorts, which necessitated a pretty gruesome system that many other gods naturally opposed, and that obviously created conflict for my soul god to deal with. But you seem to have a much more benevolent and unintrusive god and a tamer system, so I don’t foresee that sort of conflict arising and you’ll have to look to something else for plotlines and posts.

I think the answer might be found in personality. I like that your god is somewhat interventionist and isn’t just going to be reclusive, because this means you’re a lot less likely to be trapped struggling to find things to post about after setting up the initial afterlife etc. as I imagine you’ll be wanting to do early. Specifically, you say, “Watching events from afar or in mortal form. Sometimes interfering in events [b]if he deems it something important.[/b] As deep down, Voi is a kind and thoughtful god. One normally on the sidelines but, will jump into the frontline [b]if he feels he needs to.[/b]” The bolded, emphasized parts are what intrigue me. You imply that he has some morals or values, but what exactly are they? Can you expand this with at least a few sentences to show what he cares about and when he would feel the need or desire to intervene with the living? Presumably he’s just a good guy and might do something if he notices a ton of souls coming in at once to imply some sort of massacre going on, but that’s just me guessing and projecting how I might write the character. I’d like to see you clarify with your own ideas.


Not much to say about the true form, it works fine though.

I know that I wrote a lot but I hope you don’t find that daunting, because it shouldn’t take too much more writing to answer my questions and address the points that I raised, maybe just a few sentences here and there. The sheet is quite overall good and is accepted; I just think these questions are quite important to get answered because you’ve chosen a very impactful Aspect that will necessitate establishing some universal ground rules for the setting. Ask on the Discord if you want any clarifications or help, and once you’ve expanded upon and clarified the points that I’ve raised, feel free to post this on the characters sheet.
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[@Crispy Octopus] for Sala
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So the Salt Aspect is of course very niche and narrow but it’s clear that you know that and have already thought it through and have ideas, so none of us were very concerned about that. You’ll be able to make it work and find things to do given what we see in your persona section -- a clingy, attention-seeking, and potentially violent goddess will leave you with plenty of things to do with just that Salt Aspect. And of course though you don’t touch upon it much, there’s the possibility of branching into the connotations of salt representing purity and the myths of it repelling demons or monsters, etc. 

I like the quirks of her being susceptible to flattery and eventually caving in to granting some prayer if enough mortals ask, but it’s somewhat surprising that she’d then grant it even if it’s one to destroy some other group that presumably also worships her. How might she decide what to do when two opposing groups are both praying that she smite the other? I presume the answer is something along the lines of ‘arbitrarily, or maybe based upon which one she happens to like more.’

I will give particular praise to the true form, it’s very cool and thematic and my favorite one yet. I know it’s hard to come up with something original that’s still fitting and striking but you did a very good job there.

I spotted a typo or two but that’s easily overlooked, and you said you’d go back and give it a second pass anyways. Maybe I only spotted them because you said something and got me looking anyway, haha. Brevity in these sheets is a compliment of its own; I try to discuss things in depth where I think it’s warranted and ask any questions that I have, but when a sheet feels complete there’s often not too much for us to say. It’s well done. Sheet accepted!
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[@DrRtron] for Voligan
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Good to have you back old pal :)

You have a solid and straightforward Aspect with lots of potential, broad enough to do many things but not so broad that I feel the need to ask you to clarify limits or anything like that. It’s good to have the addition of a classic earth god!

The persona section is likewise straightforward but it works, and I especially like the quirks like his refusal (or maybe even inability?) to lie; things like that combined with his blunt nature will make for funny and interesting dialogue I’m sure. The True Form of a mountain-sized giant was obligatory and I expected nothing less.

Once again, there’s not much to say because your sheet conveys what it needs to and we have no real concerns; even if we did, you’re a good and flexible writer that we’ve known for a long time so we’d feel fine giving you a great deal of leeway.

Since you made a good sheet I’ll reciprocate the effort and try to give as good a review as I can and have some substance for you to mull over rather than just a few words of praise, even if that means nitpicking or hyperfocusing on a couple words. In particular I think we can talk about this part of persona, "...it his duty to shape the lands that the Monarch of All has created and [b]prepare those that live on them for the challenges of life[/b]." That part that I emphasized in bold could be explained more -- it reminds me a lot of Ruina actually, and I already suggested 404 maybe talk to you about doing some things together. So how exactly does Voligan try to ‘prepare’ the mortals? We can infer that he might occasionally send a random earthquake or natural disaster to shake things up and keep them from getting too soft, but that isn’t ever stated. A few more lines exploring this desire of his and its thought process, as well as how he’ll actually go about ‘preparing’ mortals and creations, would be a nice addition to your sheet.
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