Just two more reviews to finish off the night, eh? I think I can stave off the sleepiness long enough to do it.

[@Chris488] for Homura
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Your sheet is in a good place. We've already spoken about it and tossed ideas back and forth a bit on the Discord, so I'm overall happy with the contents. A few more things did stand out to me this time though though.

Starting in the aspect section, I recall telling you that it was very narrow and that you should try to find concrete examples of what you might do with it. I see elements of both Oaths and Hierarchy creeping in. These additions are interesting topics, they occupy unique niches that shouldn't step on others' toes, and most important they offer you some much-needed breadth. So with that said I think it's good that you included these parts, though it does feel like you're straining and stretching the concept of 'honor' a bit. Other things like Order, Law, and the like were already suggested to you though, and if you still like honor and think it's the best description then you can keep it. 

I want to discuss the following line in some depth, "...Homura magically marks those that have committed crimes against the self and the world with eldritch runes that reveal their shameful nature."  Before I forget, using the term 'eldritch runes' seems [i]really[/i]] odd and somewhat out of place; I get what you're going for and recall your asking me about using something like the Mark of Cain, but eldritch runes? It seems thematically inappropriate and it really evokes a strange vibe of glowing purple symbols or something, and I doubt that connotation is what you were going for. That's a somewhat minor detail though, more importantly I brought up this line because would like to see you expand upon it with more explanation. Just what would she construe as a 'crime against the self and the world'? Any violation of her codes of honor? How egregious of a crime are we talking? Is this only for those that don't repent, since you say she's easily swayed by as much? Is there some way in particular that she finds those that she deems worthy of punishment? Those are just a few of my questions. You need not answer them all in the sheet or write a whole essay to answer any and all possible questions, but hopefully they'll be helpful for you to mull over. In any case this line seems like a pretty big deal and like it warrants more than the half-sentence it's given here.

The personality is short, sweet, and to the point. Little to nothing seems to have been changed there since the earlier iteration of your sheet that I initially commented upon, but that's fine but nothing needed to be changed. I think I've already praised it and stated that I like how she can be swayed through promises of repentance and the like.

And again, I praise the true form! Very thematic and cool. The anime girl picture for the more typical form is uber lame though! (don't take it too personally, I just think anime is dumb lol).

Your sheet's in a state that I think warrants acceptance; I'd like it if you followed my suggestion to elaborate upon the 'Mark of Cain' part though, because I think it's an interesting and rather important part of the character that's been more or less glossed over.[/hider]

[@Not Fishing] for Zelios
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A very concise and to-the-point sheet here. That makes this pretty easy.

Starting off with aspect, darkness is definitely cool and workable. We've had Melantha and some other characters run it in the past iterations so there's those for inspiration if you ever were to need it or run out of ideas, but I don't think you will. Notably there may be a bit of toe-stepping with Yeseris (the Parasite god) adopting metaphorical 'parasites' like beggars and thieves and acting as a patron of sorts to them; I can see you perhaps having wanted to take a similar role, but maybe there's space enough there for the two of you. I can easily see Yeseris being more favored by those truly vile and lost sorts that go around preying on others without any scruples, and Zelios by those who are more of the good sort who have just fallen upon bad circumstances. You give concrete examples of powers that Darkness entails, like stifling light, moving unseen or discretely, and manipulating or animating shadows. I suppose this is a wide enough range and I can't think of much else to suggest off the top of my head, but damn, just one paragraph for the aspect section is somewhat staggering. Feels like something must be missing, even though you've covered all the necessary bases. Oh, I know -- it's all the fluff :P

The persona section paints a good picture of a benevolent god of darkness, a somewhat refreshing and less common spin on the trope. I like his quirks about favoring the downtrodden and disliking tyrants, and I particularly am appeased by how you actually take the step of explaining what he considers 'tyranny' -- I'd have asked you about that if you hadn't. The only question I have left is what exactly he does to 'tyrants' and those that he doesn't approve of. Is he an interventionist sort of god, or would he sit back and just frown at those sorts? If he is willing to intervene and try to thwart or topple such people, I imagine he does this through plotting and conspiracy, but would he go so far as to assassinate them? I think answering those questions in a couple more sentences would lead you down an interesting line of thought and give us a complete picture of Zelios' persona.

Lauder and I both agreed that your true form was particularly cool. Blessing those touched by it with superior eyesight at night whilst simultaneously cursing them to be blinded by bright light is a quite thematic touch. We really liked that part of your sheet; good job!

Your sheet is accepted. I do think it feels like it's quite lean though. Adding a little bit of fluff really wouldn't hurt, but that's just a suggestion -- the only thing I explicitly ask for is that you elaborate a little bit on the part under persona that I asked about. Once that's done post it in the characters section and you're good to go.
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