[h2]Esme Stirling[/h2]

Esme had watched Duke as she spoke about how it was when he was around her and Dean. She watched him frown as she described how it was hard to keep her emotions in check, then saw his face relax when he heard to laugh in her tone. She was glad that he picked up on her not being upset by the experience, even though it was uncomfortable at times. Though she could admit it was quite strange having two men in love with her at the same time. When he rinsed more soap from her hair, she slightly tilted her head back again. She was also still aware of his unchanging grip around her, which was keeping all her senses heightened. When he commented on Flagstaff, she could only smile a little more and give a laugh as she could clearly remember Duke barking at Dean and almost getting himself shot. She was still convinced if she hadn’t had been there, Dean probably would have shot Duke. 

As for him claiming being chained up with nothing to do but talk to her and wait to not turn was a needed break, she could understand that. Things had been rough before that day, and it was like they were getting a slight break while they waited to see if Duke would turn or not. She could still remember sitting in a chair across the room from him, with her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned back in it as they spoke to pass the time. Dean had been determined to not let her get too close to Duke in case he had turned, even with how adamant she was he wouldn’t turn. After she had turned serious and asked her question, she watched him shake his head with a small smile before he answered. She listened to every word that came from his mouth, and letting then roll around in her head. It brought her relief to know that it did not bother him and knew that she wouldn’t hurt him or use her abilities against him since she had plenty of chances in the past. 

A smile started to come to Esme’s lips at the use of her nickname, but stopped when Duke took a deep breath and asked his question. What smile had made it to her lips faded, and a look of genuine hurt took over her features. She then carefully shifted back to her original position, slowly leaned forward, pulling herself from his grip, then bent her good leg and propped the elbow of her good arm on her knee. Bringing her arm towards her, she rested her hand on her shoulder and leaned her head against her arm with a heavy sigh. “How can you even ask me that?” she asked quietly as she closed her eyes. She fell silent as she sat there, her fingers curling up on her shoulder. “No, of course, I don’t want you to be bothered.” she finally breathed. “It’s just surprising to see you take the news so well. Most don’t take it as well as you have. They shy away or freak out and see me as a danger, a freak, a monster…...”

She closed her eyes tight as she remembered some of the times being an Empath had gotten her into some hairy situations. She mentally shook them from her thoughts and took a deep breath. “You of all people should know I don’t want you to see me that way. I need at least one person out of this group, other than Cason, to see me as somewhat normal and not a threat to them.” she told him. “I know Mika sees me as a threat because Dean and I have a past. She’s been nice, but I know it’s hard for her because she knows we still care about each other. I think she’s afraid I’ll try to take him from her, but that’s something I could never do to anyone…… I still don’t know why I stayed after finding out he was back from Hell other than Dean begging me to…… Maybe it’s because I don’t want to be alone anymore.” Her last sentences were hardly audible, as she mostly said them to herself. 

Sighing heavily again, she fell silent and closed her eyes tighter for a moment before finally relaxing her face. “I’m tired of being seen as a freak. I'm tired of being feared, and I’m tired of being used as a tool because of what I can do just for someone else’s gain.” A shiver overtook her and her fingers curled in making a fist as she spoke about being used as a tool, it obviously triggering something. Esme took in a shuddered breath and her head dropped a bit. Duke didn’t have any idea how much she sometimes wish she could just turn it off or wished she wasn’t an Empath. Throughout the years, she had searched for ways or some sort of object that would block the emotions of others from hitting her so hard, but had found nothing until recently. Never in a million years would she had thought that something would have been a Hellhound. Even with knowing that, she couldn’t just go about her life with a Hellhound attached to her hip. She still needed to see if she could find something else that would work.