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They were sitting on the ground at their spot, staring up into the evening sky. Danny had his head resting against Mordechai's shoulder, eyes tracing the clouds.

[color=dc143c]"I let ya die."[/color]

Mordechai broke the silence for the first time since they'd settled down, his voice quiet and crackling from emotion. They had gotten his life updates out of the way on the stumble-walk over, and had been enjoying the sounds of nature since, unsure of what to say.

[color=ff7f50]"Ya didn't [i]let[/i] anythin' happen. Ya couldn't even really move at the time, I r'member that. Charlie'd stabbed ya and pistol whipped ya- what? Twice?"[/color] Danny easily denied him the guilt he'd carried for two years, closing his eyes and leaning further into Mordechai, the older brother actively working not to tense at the cold that radiated from him.

[color=dc143c]"He was my fault too,"[/color] Mordechai argued. [color=dc143c]"He was my responsibility just as much as you were."[/color]

[color=ff7f50]"Charlie had 'is own issues, Deck, just like we did. Why is it all on you?"[/color]

[color=dc143c]"I was the decidin' factor in jumpin' him outta the Serpents,"[/color] Mordechai revealed, shoulders tense and eyes steadfast on the sky. [color=dc143c]"ReyRey told me he woulda killed 'im if I didn't make the decision. I thought I was savin' 'is life but I just prolonged it enough for 'im to take you with."[/color] His fingers dug into the grass beneath him as he spoke. [color=dc143c]"Some brother I was, huh? Both blood and soul."[/color]

[color=ff7f50]"Are ya serious right now?"[/color] Danny finally lifted his head to stare at his older brother. [color=ff7f50]"Decky ya may've been a domino in the chain of events but you were [i]not[/i] the only reason Charlie cracked. ReyRey wasn't no help, momma Decker bein' sick wasn't no help, losin' his place in the Serpents wasn't either. I still don't really know why…why he killed [i]me[/i] but I know I don't blame [i]you[/i]. I don't even think I blame Charlie,"[/color] he admitted, raising himself to his knees to block Mordechai's view of the sky and make him focus on his brother. [color=ff7f50]"He was sick, and alone, and probably scared, definitely angry. If ya didn't have me an' Sonny and then Poppy an' Jade an' Charlie, and then the Serpents, who's ta say ya wouldn't'a gone a bit crazy? What if I never had you? I'da been dead a lot sooner. What if Lanie didn't make ya leave the Serpents an' get clean? What if Beau didn't take us i-"[/color]

[color=dc143c]"What's your point, Danny?"[/color] Mordechai interrupted, hugging his knees as he looked away.

[color=ff7f50]"My point, dummy, is leave the What If's ta the dead, we got nothin' better ta do with our time. But you can choose ta move forward and [i]live[/i] instead'a survive. I'm stuck here, there is no movin' forward for me. But ya got kids now and you're talkin' ta Poppy an' Jade again. Ya don't have ta get outta the life again, ya just gotta make sure ya still have one ta live."[/color] He scowled there. [color=ff7f50]"And since I woke ya up with a needle in your arm and a guilty look on your face, I know you're makin' bad choices and livin' in the past. But all that's left for ya there is us, the ghosts, and we can't help ya figure out how to live. It's not really our thing."[/color]

Mordechai stared at his brother with sorrow and grief written into every line of his body. 

[color=dc143c]"It shoulda been me, though,"[/color] Mordechai lamented quietly, reaching out to grip the collar of Danny's jacket. [color=dc143c]"You were gonna go places, do things, kick ass and take names all in one. I'm the broken one, I'm the one that always fucks up. No one woulda cared if I'd gone down that da- [i]oof![/i]"[/color] He was cut off as he was shoved backward till his back hit the ground. His brother was now sitting on his chest and glaring down at him.

[color=ff7f50]"In this scenario, I'da been alive, so [i]I[/i] woulda missed ya. I woulda lost my brother and guardian, the only person I ever loved with all my heart. Lanie woulda lost her boyfriend in a way that [i]wasn't[/i] trauma induced abandonment-"[/color] and fuck, no one but Danny could say that and retain a lack of judgement in his tone. [color=ff7f50]"-Sonny woulda gone off the deep end, Jade an' Poppy woulda still lost a Boaz! I don't care if ya left the damn state, Decky, ya left your mark on people here just like I did."[/color]

Mordechai stared at the sky behind his brother's head, silent but openly emotional. There were tears welling in his eyes and trailing down his face, his bottom lip and chin were quivering as he clenched his jaw defiantly. 

[color=ff7f50]"Say it."[/color]

[color=dc143c]"Say what."[/color] the flat tone he used barely allowed the words to be a question.

Danny pushed his face closer to his older brother's, face calm and serious. [color=ff7f50]"Say ya matter, say ya wanna live, say it ain't on your shoulders, say-"[/color]

[color=dc143c]"Ya know I don't say shit I don't believe,"[/color] Mordechai cut in with a bitter smile. [color=dc143c]"'m sorry it includes all'a that shit ya wanna hear."[/color]

Danny huffed out a breath he no longer needed and rolled off of Mordechai to lay beside him, arms thrown to the sides. [color=ff7f50]"I can't believe ya right now. No, that's a lie I totally can, ya've always been like this. I just want ya ta be [i]better[/i]."[/color]

[color=dc143c]"No magical one day fix for that, [i]Boychik[/i]."[/color]

[color=ff7f50]"No, I guess not...Think about what I said though?"[/color]

[color=dc143c]"Of course. For you."[/color]

[color=ff7f50]"Good 'nough then."[/color]

They went back to watching the stars come out as if nothing happened at all.