[h2]Esme Stirling[/h2]

Esme watched Duke as he took in her request for cheesecake and laughed softly. It was clear to see that he remembered her love for it and joined in on the laughter. It brought her joy that he could look back and laugh on those moments and laugh and that he still remembered after all the time apart. When she squeezed his hand, she noticed his eyebrows raise before he glanced down at their hands. She also noticed how he seemed to be thinking about something before he voiced it. A warm smile came to her lips, and she nodded. “That sounds like a great idea and it does sound like a good catch up spot.” she replied just as warmly as her smile. It gave her something to look forward to while she rested up from the ordeal she went through earlier in the day, which she didn’t see taking that long with Duke there taking care of her. 

Duke then flashed his dazzling smile, one she thought she’d never see again after she had left them, then scooted up on the bed beside her and pulled the blankets over himself. This action surprised her because she didn’t think he would actually get under the blankets with her. Yes, she thought he’d come up and lie next to her on the bed but not under them with her, with them both being in nothing but towels. Yet here he was, under the blankets with her, a feeling of relief coming from him, and scanning her face. When he leaned in and brought his free hand up, gently brushing it across her cheek, she fought the flinch at the action but still flinched and felt nervousness creeping up on her and her heart rate picking up as she looked at him, looking at her. As he leaned in further, staring at her lips, she felt herself go tense, her heart rate picked up more, and her nervousness grow. She knew how he felt about her, but she didn’t think things would move to this point so soon after meeting back up. It had only been a few hours. 

Esme froze as soon as his lips touched hers and took in a sharp breath before it caught. Her heart now felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. Her mind raced through the thoughts that popped into her head, most of them going back to that time, the time she tried to forget from two and a half years ago. She felt like she was drowning in the memories as she fought against them and they made tears well up in her eyes. Her inner voice screamed at her, telling her she should be happy in this moment, not fearing it. She knew that the voice was right, but for some reason, it was harder to push those memories from her mind today than any other day. Maybe it was because she was mentally tired. This was something she absolutely hated about herself, the fact that she couldn’t push it from her mind and forget about it and have it almost have control over her life, where other aspects of her life didn’t bother her at all. It crippled her in a way and made her think of herself as weak and hated to have others see this in her.

Then something changed, as if triggered by the way Duke pushed her hair behind her ear and the way he carefully moved his lips against hers. Her mind slowly cleared and her body began to relax as she noticed it was almost as if it scared him she might lash out at him for kissing her. She forced the rest of the memories to the back of her mind yet again, then mentally kicked and cursed herself for letting a simple kiss from someone she trusted affect her in such a way. Esme knew he wouldn’t hurt her and would do whatever he could for her. She also knew that she could trust him and not regret doing so. Letting Duke’s emotions in and swallowing her build up nerves and fear, she gently leaned into Duke’s kiss returning it, her eyes fluttering closed soon after. When her eyes closed, it forced the builded up tears to roll down her cheeks, which was something she never allowed to happen when around him in the past. 

As she kissed him, she could feel the love that she held for him wash over her as if the floodgates had been opened. After she had left them, she had pushed all the love she had for him and Dean as far down as she could, and now it was rushing all back to the surface. Melting into his kiss and becoming lost in the moment, she didn’t realize she was projecting her own feelings, but not to where they would influence him. He’d be able to feel what she was feeling in that moment, which was love with nervousness and fear slowly fading as the love she felt swallowed it. Freeing her hand from under the blankets, she brought it up and placed it on his free hand before leaning a bit more into their kiss. She let herself become wrapped up in the warmth of the love she felt, it was something she felt she desperately needed. Normally she would scold herself for wanting to be consumed by any emotion but this time was completely different and it wasn’t like she was with someone she didn’t know or trust.