[CENTER][B]9.5 YEARS AGO[/B][/CENTER]

Jane staggered down the hallway of her and Rob’s apartment, her head pounding with each step from the previous night’s activities. The band, some friends, and members of the staff had gone out drinking, but soon it was just Jane and Rob left at a hole in the wall. He’d been suggesting they leave for a minute, but she wasn’t having it until she was too wasted to argue it.

As they walked out of the bar, they were slammed by flashing lights and men shouting their names. Jane instantly turned inward, and Rob put a protective arm around her, telling them something to the effect of “fuck off.” They were close to the edge of their line when one stuck a camera so close to Jane’s face that it grazed her eyelashes, and without a second thought, Jane swatted it. The camera, a very expensive looking at that, smashed into the ground. As the pieces scattered, Jane began to run, but the man grabbed a hold of her hair and used it to throw on the ground.

“That camera was worth more than your career, you whore!” the man yelled. 

Jane was unsure what Rob did next as her eyes were squeezed shut. Whatever it was, it didn’t sound pleasant for the guy mourning his camera.

Now, the following morning, Jane entered the kitchen to see a nearly naked Rob preparing breakfast, but instead of taking a seat at the bar, she snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to break it, he just got so close and-“ She squeezed harder and pressed a kiss into his back, her voice tuning down to just a whisper. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

[center][b]PRESENT DAY[/b][/center]

Jane, wrapped in nostalgia, was barged in on by Austin who insisted they take a ride to the beach in the truck he rented. It only took a minute to convince her; daydreaming about Rob was only making her feel worse.

“Fine. But I’m not getting out.”

“That’s okay, bud,” Austin smiled, patting her head. “Let’s just get some fresh air, huh?”

[center]***[/center]

Jane stared at the water in silence from the passenger window for what felt like hours, until the sound of Austin’s phone taking a photo made Jane freeze up. “What the fuck are you doing?” She snapped, grabbing the phone and examining the picture. 

“Shit,” Austin sighed. “They still have you that fucked up, huh?”

After realizing her over reaction, Jane sighed through a chuckle and handed him back the phone. “I’m sorry. It’s been a while.”

“Look, I’m not gonna take Pennie’s Instagram away. But, I think it’s time that you put your life in your own words again instead of leaving it to the press.”

Jane’s chin rested on her knee as she stared out through the windshield. “I don’t know if I’m ready for it again. I bet even Sam still hates me, let alone the rest of the world.”

“Sam, I… Okay yeah. He and Harold still think you’re the cause of their financial downfall. But I’ll work on it.”

“And Rob?” Jane asked a bit too eagerly, embarrassing himself.

“He hasn’t mentioned you yet, J.”

“Please, Austin,” she begged, sincerity in her eyes. “I have no idea what he thinks of me. If he still hates me….or-or if he even thinks anything of me.” Admitting her own defeat, she looked back out to the Pacific. “I can’t read him anymore.”

Austin groaned. “I’ll tell you what. Let me make you this Instagram, and I’ll see what I can find out before your dinner. Okay?” 

Jane smiled, throwing her arms around him. “Deal.”

[center]***[/center]

Saying that Jane was distracted during the band’s writing session would be an understatement. Her eyes kept wandering to Rob who kept his focus on their task. This annoyed her immensely. 

Austin sat with her for a bit and helped pick out some of the songs she had in a notebook that would work with the sound they were going for. Now with bands like Chelsea Wolfe out there, the acceptance of female fronted heavy bands had grown tremendously, and it was the perfect time for them to reenter the scene with force they once were. A lot of critics said that In Bloom had just been before their time, but she always thought that was bullshit.

“I’m pretty sure this one is TikTok dance material,” Austin joked, earning him an elbow in the stomach. “But really. These are good, we can work with them.”

Jane’s face lit up. Maybe she hadn’t lost it after all.

“We’ll start working on some songs, then we’ll get you in for melodies and go from there.” The rest of the writing session was dedicated to the musicians, Jane giving her input when needed. Once wrapped up, she scurried over to Austin as he was exiting the room.“Anything yet?” she whispered.

“Haven’t had the chance.”

Sam filed out after him, not bothering to look at Jane at all. [i]Ouch.[/i]

Jane's eyes were burning a hole into the floor, until Rob snapped her out of her pity party.

[b]“So,” Rob said between breaths. “Dinner?[/b]

She wanted to squeal like a teenager, but instead held back her smile as much as she could and nodded. "Yes. Let me cook for you. 7pm."

[center]***[/center]

Jane would have been bored in the room if it wasn’t for the dreaded outfit choice. What said, “I know I’m your junkie ex-girlfriend you probably hoped to never see again, but here I am trying to wine and dine you into loving me again?”

And, she brought just the outfit. 

No word from Austin, and if she didn’t start cooking now, dinner wouldn’t be ready by 7:00pm. She was going in blind. Jane made up an excuse as to why they weren’t going out to eat – something about reservations – but the actuality of it was much more complex.

Being away from her bubble was bringing not only feelings for Rob back, but all sorts of old feelings. The chance of being swarmed by the paparazzi was low, due to their just recent return back to the music scene, but with Rob and his [i]famous[/i] ex-wife, it wasn’t gamble she was willing take.

No, this night needed to go perfectly. And her having a mental breakdown over photos being taken wasn’t in that plan. Instead, Jane prepared a chicken dish with asparagus, rice, paired with a red wine for Rob, and a cold water for herself.

Right around seven, before he could even get a word out, Jane rushed him to the backyard patio and told him to sit. The food and drinks were ready for them on the table, along with the firepit burning to keep them warm during the chilly evening. 

Before sitting down, Jane twirled around to show off the tie-dye dress she was wearing. “Do you remember this thing? I found it in my closet and had to bring it.” Smirking as she watched Rob, she brought her hands to the straps delicately. “I probably fill it out much better than I did back then.”

[i]Jesus, tone it down.[/i]

Jane took her seat and began to cut her food. “I hope its okay. I didn’t become a chef in my time off, but I’ve learned to make a few things. “Oh,” Jane smirked, grabbing a joint from behind her ear. It’d been covered by the hair she successfully teased into looking like she was nearly a 23-year-old rockstar again. “Not sure if you still smoke but, I…I rolled this for us.” Her smirk turned to a look of pleading, but instead of mentioning anything else, she allowed Rob to eat his food, holding back the barrage of questions she had for him. “I, uh, it’s been so weird to see you. To be here. But thanks for agreeing to dinner with me.” 

Once he made a good dent into the dish, Jane cleared her throat. “So, I want to hear everything. Where are you living? How is being a studio musician? God, what’s it like to be a [i]father[/i]?”

The pain of announcing he was a dad was quick, and Jane blinked it away. [i]It could have been us.[/i]

The plan they made was to come back home from tour, regain monogamy, and start over. And God, was it good at first. Jane had never been happier, but nothing could fill the void like getting fucked up did. It was her fault she was alone and confined in her home at almost 33, and Rob got to live a life of love and experience in her absence. 

Would he even like who she was now? 

Jane grew timid. Tired. Scared of the world. Jaded. And that wasn’t who he fell in love with all those years ago. Looking at Rob, a matured, successful Rob in front of her…it was terrifying. It was almost like she stayed in Neverland and he grew up without her. But, why bring up the past right now when they could just catch up? 

“Through the grapevine, I heard she’s a very pretty little girl,” Jane nodded, trying to get down the lump in her throat. She wouldn’t dare mention [i]Mae[/i], solely from the fact that she didn’t want to hear anything about her. She assumed Rob felt the same. “Does she want to play drums like Daddy?”