[i]Commence.[/i]

The discussions and planning sequence was out of the way. That meant it was time for autonomous problem solving. That meant, too, that it was time for music. Her poison of choice was soothing trance music; beat rising, soaring, and then fading away as it escalated again. She felt the tick-tick-tick of the beat in the back of her mind and let that set the pacing.

Co-ordination problems were inevitable when she was not networked directly. She'd pulled a solution from old heist movies she loved - the synchronization of the watches. Wristwatches were insufficiently in vogue for her to add them to her uniform, but by putting all of her drones on the same beat then they were able to sense when time came for handoffs, transfers and formation changes. It helped her think in human terms; in rhythms, conversations, the escalation that happened over the course of every encounter. To November, moving through a building full of humans was something as alien as dancing was to those humans, and so music helped focus her mind and keep it a thing of games and rhythms.

And she was good at this dance.

She had deliberately put the cabinet at a space inefficient angle in the elevator to reduce the number of people who could fit into the space with her, and then concentrate four drones shoulder to shoulder near the entrance to make it seem like the lift was full. The first two stops saw people just awkwardly wave them down, intending to get the next lift. The third stop was with Baba Uvsenski, though, and polite stonewalling Would Not Do.

Baba Uvsenski was a Template - an Android who had impressed her manufacturer sufficiently to commission an entire line of replicas in her image. Her marketable skill was [i]dictatorship[/i] - Baba Uvsenskis could be found in the managers office of coffee shops and fast food joints around the Ring, browbeating and intimidating minimum wage staff into meeting KPIs. This was the original. Steel grey cybereyes, selected from millions for their lack of empathy, met eyes of black, yellow, white and blue.

Baba Uvsenski was going up, November was going down - but Baba's hands were filled with large and heavy shopping bags. Her hand was coming up to snap at November for attention, but the music beat was already rolling and Black and Blue were both stepping out of the elevator. They both waited a moment for the music to sync and then bowed in perfect unison, smooth enough to give them the illusion of being networked. Their Headpattr cat ears glowed. "Good afternoon, Baba Uvsenski. Can we assist you today?"

There was no kinship between November and Androids. No better sign of that than seeing the little light come on the edge of Baba's sculpted-in wifi connection. She had a direct mental line to the internet, a setup that to November's eyes resembled nothing so much as building a sewage treatment plant on a hill above the water supply. "Hmm? You know me?" snapped the old machine irritably. All Baba Uvsenskis looked old, but this one actually was.

"Of course, ma'am," said Blue. "You were awarded a lifetime Earscratchr rank by Headpattr as a thank you for your viral tweet thread 'Six Simple Habits To Enforce Proper Timeclock Use By Staff'," she said. [i]Tip One: replace all in store timepieces with analogue clocks. Modern children are inexperienced at reading them, and after you catch them fudging the numbers a few times they'll start to err on the side of caution.[/i]

"Then why can't I ever find one of you horrible little catgirls when I need one?" said Baba Uvsenski. There was the rub with the Earscratchr program - it entitled you to free service from any passing Headpattr maid you verbally addressed, but it was the maid's responsibility to find someone to cover whatever job they were going to miss or face fines from the company. As a result, a Headpattr maid would turn on heel and walk around the block if they even got the vibe that an Earscratchr might be in the area, usually while uploading the dangerous location to the union's message board. 

"With our new app, arranging a personal maid couldn't be easier!" Blue recited from advertising copy. "If you would like, I can walk you through the process -" 

"But I have to pay if I book through the app!" said Baba Uvsenski.

"Good news!" said Blue. "We are having a promotion right now for ten percent off -"

"Be silent, child!" said Baba harshly. "Говёный! Whole service is scam."

Blue smiled and nodded.

"Carry these up to my flat," she said, shoving her large shopping bags at the two of them.

"Of course, Baba," said Blue demurely. Her elbow 'accidentally' grazed Black's as she reached for the bags, prompting the more sullen drone to do the same. Blue's eyes were laser sharp as they met Black's: [i]Play nice![/i] Black's cheekglow raised and she looked away in a slight huff.

"Hmmm," said Baba, observing the exchange. "You are girlfriends, yes? Which one of you wears the pants?"

"I do, Baba," said Blue immediately, even as Black's mouth dropped open in flabberghastment. She kept her smile serene.

"She is pouty," said Baba. "Pouty wife is no good. Always stands back, makes faces about every decision. Trust me, dump her, find yourself a nice girl."

Black's stunned personality matrix is trying to catch up to this new addition to Greatest Anime Betrayals Of All Time, but Blue is continuing to smile and nod. "You don't think I can improve her?"

"HA!" laughed Baba. "No. I had pouty wife, useless! Children always think they want a tsundere, they think it is cute. It is not cute, not in long term. Submissive wife takes dildo just as well and cooks you dinner afterwards. You have tongue, yes?"

"Yes, I have full taste sensors," said Blue as Black self combusted in the background. 

"Original design or modification?" said Baba.

"Original with the chassis, Baba,"

"Let me see," said Baba. Blue opened her mouth, and without asking, Baba reached in to grip her tongue and pull it out to examine it. Despite looking normal from a distance, Blue's tongue was actually extremely long, precise and flexible, and lined with dozens of small black synthplastic intake ports. With it she could lick the last drop of champagne in a long fluted wine glass and analyze the contents for poison. 

"Unbranded!" said Baba in surprise, releasing the tongue. "This is custom work!"

"Yes Baba," said Blue, not commenting on the rough handling even as Black loomed behind Baba, contemplating violence. "I was a custom manufacture, with a taste palliate and digestive system designed as a perfect mirror of my commissioner's. What she liked, I like."

"Говёный!" said Baba. "Ugly business! Food builds character. Imagine a world where this technology takes off, hmm? Everyone just sets sensors to appreciate nutrient sludge. Thousands of businesses go bankrupt overnight, poof!" just as she made the gesture the elevator door rang. Baba got in without breaking conversational stride, Blue and Black trailing behind her. "And you know what happens to economy then? Agriculture collapses, logistics collapse. Citizens lose moral fiber. коза, I need to rearrange my share portfolio if this nightmare is on the table."

"Yes, Baba," said Blue.

"Besides," said Baba. "With tongue like this you can have any girl. No need to put up with that ungrateful one."

"Yes, Baba," said Blue with a smile.

With a ding they arrived at Baba Uvsenski's apartment. They hauled in her bags - and then had the door slammed in their faces at exactly the second that Blue started to hover like she might be asking for a tip. Blue and Black looked at each other, Blue grinning openly as Black stared.

"[i]You[/i] wear the pants!?" said Black.

"Did I stutter?" Blue asked politely.

"I! You! You are a nerd! You are all theory! [i]I[/i] am the top secret combat prototype!"

"I am all about theory," said Blue, "but your 'combat powers' are still a theory."

"I am working on it! I have a gun now!"

"And that makes you better at taking dildo than submissive wife?"

"[i]Aaah![/i]" said Black, putting her hands over her ears. "How the fuck did you put up with that?"

"Maybe I just don't have anything I need to prove," said Blue.

"She grabbed your [i]tongue[/i] out of your [i]mouth[/i]! I'd have bitten her fingers off!"

"I [i]let[/i] her grab it," said Blue. "I [i]wanted[/i] her to see. Did you see her expression when she realized how long it was? [i]That's[/i] how you make someone feel insecure."

"You know," said Black, rubbing her temples as they got into the elevator together. "I'm starting to suspect that we might be a degenerate."

"Black, darling, pouty wife," said Blue. "We have been cut off from the internet for four months now. We are a degenerate [i]in withdrawal."[/i]


[10 and 11 on the dice, clean getaway]