[@Goldeagle1221] for Apostate
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So after a long and busy weekend Lauder finally chipped in with his two cents, and we're ready to unleash the kraken. I mean, review this sheet!

So the elephant in the room is that you yourself expressed concern over whether or not you'll find things to write about for Apostate and not grow bored of the character. While I commend your honesty and introspection there, understand that we're quite concerned by your frank admission of that combined with a character that seems comparatively niche and inflexible in what it could do. This is compounded by how I'm told you eventually left Mk. IV or V (or both? forgive me for not having those details exactly straight). You likewise did eventually leave Mk. III and I remember that, but I don't begrudge you much on that end since you did so in a way that tied up the loose ends and didn't leave us with any mess to clean up.

With that context above established, I'll say that our general sentiment was that the sheet as it stands is quite mediocre. The meme jabbing at Oraculum in the first line elicited an eyeroll from me, and honestly I do share Oraculum's sentiment about not being fond of the name Apostate. Not a dealbreaker by any means, but worth mentioning.

You've picked a difficult aspect to write for I think, but you seem to have done so intentionally, perhaps even as a challenge if not just a breath of fresh air and something new, and that's respectable. I think you do a decent job of explaining the aspect and its essence, but another line or two offering more concrete examples couldn't hurt. Does he literally strengthen and empower the bodies of people under his influence or do you speak only metaphorically in that he gives them the courage of mind to act out? Does his influence only help them to do what they want, or is it more insidious in that it can cause people to escalate petty conflicts in deadly feuds and act out in impulses of rage? Very important distinction there, and I honestly can't say I have the answer from what you've given. In particular my eye was caught by this tiny detail, "He stirs passion, [b]no matter how hidden[/b]..." Is that to imply a restriction in that he cannot instill rebellion into someone, only fuel urges that are already present in an individual to some level? Interesting. Perhaps that's worth exploring more.

I do quite like the simple fact that you say the character is quarrelsome or at least confrontational, as that helps to assuage concerns that you wouldn't find things to do -- the ability to pick fights will help you with that, but merely running around and starting a bunch of feuds probably isn't enough. I hope you have ideas or plans for more than that (and as I write this, you [i]did[/i] just offhandedly mention on the Discord that you have ideas for a bunch of arcs. Tell us about them! Privately is fine if you don't want to give spoilers for the rest.) but I'd like it if you could do more in the personality section to establish quirks or other motivations or ambitions beyond a nebulous and unachievable desire to alleviate suffering. So this is the section that I'd like to see the most work and expansion added to.

The true form is thematic and cool. I like it and it's all very well done; not much else to say about it.

In conclusion, from what I've seen of you I think you could probably do better. I mean that as more of a compliment than an insult, but nonetheless, we've decided to drag you through the mud here and withhold approval for now. I expect that you don't want to do a full rework or start with something new from the ground up, in which case I'll say Apostate definitely has potential. Just convince us that you've got enough passion and ideas for the character by telling us about your plans and ideas, preferably also elaborate upon the actual powers of the aspect, but definitely try to put more substance into the personality so that there's more to Apostate than just a belligerent Christ figure.[/hider]