[centre] [img]https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSQflg-z9nQOc9a6bCHFtrSb4lRpHccGrYNtw&usqp=CAU[/img] [h1]Jiugui & [color=#FF0000]Y[/color][color=#FF1901]o[/color][color=#FF3302]l[/color][color=#FF4D03]i[/color][color=#FF6704]y[/color][color=#FF8105]a[/color][color=#FF9B06]c[/color][color=#FFB507]h[/color][color=#FF9B06]i[/color][color=#FF8105]c[/color][color=#FF6704]o[/color][color=#FF4D03]z[/color][color=#FF3302]t[/color][color=#FF1901]l[/color][/h1] [img]https://i.imgur.com/ol4Zyhf.png[/img] [h3]Opening Minds[/h3] [/centre] [hr] It had been a less than ideal trip. Not even halfway across the Thousand Lakes region, Jiugui had felt that familiar rumble in his guts. The aftermath hadn’t been a pretty sight, that was for certain, but he had felt lighter and less dizzy afterwards. Jiugui had stood and admired his leavings for a moment - majestic, truly - before he had then conjured his cup into reexistence and filled it to the brim once more, toasting his work. Within the hour, the god was back to his tipsy self, and the man danced and sang down a cave bear’s path. After easing on down the path for a good while, his steps growing increasingly erratic and unbalanced, the drunk god eventually arrived at a roaring cave in the middle of an uncharacteristically burnt and barren part of the tundra. The snow fell thick in these parts, but melted in droves around this cave, which insides were hissing with molten tongues and noxious fumes. The drunk god squinted his beady eyes. What was this place, and why was every part of his body begging for him to explore it? A shot for bravery, another for strength and a third to flow the former two down, the drunk god felt ready. Taking a detour in a circle around in the snow, including taking some time to fashion a snow angel, the drunk god arrived at the cave entrance around an hour after he had begun the trek of roughly a hundred yards. He stood at the entrance and smiled. The heat was most welcome - though he, a god, felt no need to thermoregulate, he could by instinct tell what surroundings suited best a drink with friends; the icy tundra, while it had its pros, was not one of them. The drunk god ushered forth a small burp and stumbled into the cave. A long, winding tunnel of fire and stone surrounded him soon after the first half-hour, the temperature turning up to insane levels. His fuzzy mind had momentarily pondered the lack of animals seeking shelter in these caves, but he had quickly realised that it might get too hot for them here. Though then again, maybe they just hadn’t moved in just yet. He had no reference for how much time had passed since his inception; hell, he had no reference for how much time had passed since he had started drinking. The only answer he could reliably propose to the latter question was: “Not enough.” “HALT!” came a furious shout, and Jiugui rolled together into a ball, spilling wine everywhere. “UAAAAAAAH!” he screamed as a giant, serpentine creature wormed its way out from behind a lava stalagmite. It was well over seventy feet long, black of scales and molten of flesh, and had at least four-- no, six limbs! -- sticking out of its colossal body in a crocodilian manner. The beast encircled the little mat, snarling monstrously and baring its molten teeth. “Little red creature who so frivolously enters the home of Yachtectzumatzim - speak your name and purpose now, or be ready to face the fate of all those who enter into my realm!” The lizard snaked its way around Jiugui in a tighter formation, fiery tongue licking at the air around the drunk god. Jiugui hyperventilated and spilled some more wine trying to stand back up. “Now hol’ on jusshaminute, pahl…--” he managed to blurt around before his back leg gave out and sent him staggering backwards. Upon catching himself, he spilled a cupful on the skin of the beast, the spot immediately evaporating into flammable gas, which then also caught fire and left a sour odour. The beast grimaced. “Puny!” it spat. “To think that you not only soil yourself in my presence, but that you also cast off your waste upon my elevated person! What immeasurable misdemeanour!” Yachtectzumatzim bared its teeth once more and gaped wide once. “I shall do onto you as I have done onto all the miserable creatures that dare squanter into my private home! Prepare to meet your maker, insect!” “AAAAAH! NO, PLEASHE!” Jiugui tried to escape, but tripped over his robes and fell. This made him easy prey for the lizard, which swallowed him whole. However, the beast could not keep him inside its body for longer than a few seconds before it spat him back out again, howling and twisting in agony. “BWUAH! BLEH! What disgusting flavour! What horrible stink!” It rolled around on the ground and gagged, droplets of sickly lava dripping from its jaws. Two pairs of limbs clutched at its throat and another grabbed its own belly. “By the Mother, what did you do to me-- HUUUUEEEEEERCHK!” The beast cast forth a line of magma from its mouth. Jiugui, meanwhile, laid flat on his back on the ground, covered in molten hot spit. “Izzeh rude, whashu shayn’...” he slurred and sat up partially. He had another cup to drink and squinted at the squirming monster. “I’ll’ave’z you knnnow I… Jush bathéd.” The worm made a half-baked attempt to recover, but found that its legs could hardly support its body. Its eyes felt lazy and sluggish, and its mouth seemed to drip with fiery drool while its tail tossed around with no regard for its surroundings. “Whaddev… Whaddev you done tooh mee…” it whimpered. Jiugui rolled into a stand and drummed his chin. “Inderresdin’,” he remarked. “You wwwworrrm,” hissed the lizard. “You’f… Pois’néd… Meeh… [i]Gwack…[/i]” A lazy claw cast itself forward towards the drunk god, but did not reach all the way. Jiugui smirked and had another drink, speaking forth a verse to commemorate the occasion: [centre][i]”Who’s the worm, you slipp’ry snake? I doubt you know what is at stake: Ev’n in caves of fire and stone This hero triumphs all alone; Muster all the might you can - You shan’t defeat this holy man! You’re a living flaccid rod And I’m the mighty liquor god!”[/i][/centre] He then broke into a jolly jig around the defeated lizard, which snailed its way onto its back with a self-apologetic hiss: “Begahwn, y’ tauwntin’... Blergh…” The lizard tried to escape, but its limbs were useless, flopping about on the ground with no sense of coordination. In a desparate prayer, the great guardian of the tunnel, Yachtectzumatzim called out: “Mazriarg… Mazriarg, helhp… Meeh!” Jiugui, meanwhile, dastardly danced in circles around the beast, snapping his fingers and trolling a tune of triumph. The draft through the tunnel played on the strings of the air and the molten magma drummed in the beat of the drunken one’s song. A chorus of creatures living in the cave joined in on the fun, drunk on the atmosphere: [hider=Music for the curious] [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CW10Copl8v00[/youtube] [/hider] [centre][i]”I present a whole bottle of Pure and mellow wine, I pour a cup full for Your Royal Highness, Strong and fragrant wine. Let our song never end, Let our fortunes never decline, A cup for ever in our hands, A song for ever in our throats.”[/i][/centre] [color=Red]"Quite a long time to sing and drink, especially for one who so terrorizes a child of mine."[/color] A sense of heat not from lava or the magma flow radiated near the God, as would his sense tell of another of his kind near, her voice evidently announcing her presence. The small man’s torso twisted to behold the approaching presence, a lizard like the guardian, but larger - much larger - and noticeably angrier. He downed a cup for courage and rolled into a stance. What stance it was was hard to say, but it was a stance nonetheless. He pointed a finger at Yachtectzumatzin and then at the newcomer. “HEY, I’ll’av’yoo know… HE attackéd ME foi’zt, okey?” Another cup. “[sub]Urrp…[/sub] I jusssh self-deafeneded,” he said with an aggressive shrug. She held herself back, listening to the nigh incomprehensible speech as her burning eyes flickered between the God and Achtotlaca. A slow carefully controlled drawl replied, [color=Red]"I think my little one has learned their lesson regardless of the circumstances."[/color] She eyes turned to stare deeply and intensely at the floundering Achtotlaca, [color=Red]"Are you not very sorry for having so disrupted my peer and have learned to take such more caution as you should have learned fromyour Elders?"[/color] The lesser Achtotlaca cowered sloppily, burying its face beneath its front limbs. “O, Mazriarg… P’eaze dun loog’add meeh-hee-hee…” he whimpered. Jiugui clapped his hands tauntingly at the creature. “Hoh! Now ‘e cowerz! Lo, I zzztand victoriouz!” He danced some more in a small circle. He then looked to catch a scent and squinted at the giant. “Waizzz… You’ze like me!” She rolled her eyes, and refocused on Jiugui, [color=Red]"Yes I am. I happened to be nearby when I heard the cries. Do you mind retracting what influence you've drawn upon my child?"[/color] Jiugui burst into a wild cackle. “Hah!” He skipped into the air and clapped his feet together. “No, no, no can do! [sup]Broiph...[/sup]” Her eyes narrowed, [color=Red]"And why is that? It's rare to meet a god so incompetent as to be unable to act, I sincerely hope you are not so."[/color] Her head pulled back suddenly, and she looked at him again sideways on, as if she had a sudden thought or needed to see something clearer. Yachtectzumatzim’s eyes went as wide as his intoxicated facial muscles could make them. The drunk god jigged some more and kicked in the direction of Yachtectzumatzim’s face. “Alash! [sub]Hurp![/sub] Drzink my wine - be drzunk for a day; but t’ dare drzrink Jiugui?! Ha-hoo, hoo-ha!” He kicked up in the air again and did a pirouette. “Idiotick! Foolizh! Stoopid!” She leaned in close, heat leaked heavily with each word from her mouth, [color=Red]"And what your wisdom tell you about denying a concerned Mother's request my peer? Or do you prefer 'Singing Maker' as I would suppose that may explain a disappearance?[/color] Jiugui lost his balance and faceplanted down on the hot rock. Recovering all-too-slowly, he rumbled and mumbled something unintelligible before adding, “Shingin’ Mager, whozzat? Shounds familler.” He staggered forwards a good few paces standing back up. “Whozzeffereemaybee,” he said to the tunnel wall before turning around. He shrugged and smiled with pity. “Gozza say I’m sohrrey, buzz no can do. ‘S like wazzer fallin’ down or plantz growin’ up - no wine more potent zhan Jiugui. Nozz even I know za cure, see?” [color=Red]"I see."[/color] Her reply was as curt as her tone was hard. She stared very intently at Jiugui before lifting her head only slightly out of the way of his form to spew heat down around Yachtectzumatzim, encompassing him in warmth and soon the stone below most of his body melted- his head still resting on solid enough stone flooring. The lizard murmured his thanks and fell out of consciousness with sleep. [color=Red]"We should get comfortable as I expect we shall be here a while then,"[/color] She turned her head towards Jiugui once more and spoke. [color=Red]"And what name do you so claim to speak under then?[/color] The drunk god shrugged. “Whazzin a name, anyway? Jiugui iz Jiugui. Jiugui speakz only underrr ze Monargh… ‘N underr influenze.” He chuckled to himself and poured another cup. “Oh, zhorry, how rude’a me, hereyegoh.” The wind carried the cup effortlessly to float by the giant serpents’ front limbs. “Sho, who’rze you agaihn?” She took the cup in her left hand, lifting it to her mouth and poured the wine in where it promptly burst into flame, the gout of fire raising out and singing the cup. She replied after setting the cup down again, [color=Red] “Well Jiugui, I am Yoliyachicoztl, Goddess of Heat, Supreme Mother of my Iyotlaca, creator of the Achtotlaca, and Bringer of Flame.”[/color] "Chsharméd," said the drunk god with a smile and a bow. He had another cupful and looked around. "Nice plashe, by zhe wayh. Cookéd id yourshelf?" She moved her great body around past the other god, taking a hand to comfort the self proclaimed guardian. The creature was completely knocked out and his breathing was weak. She replied only after taking a moment, [color=Red]“I made a magma plume lead up to these far northern lands from the great many who dominate the under earth of the south.”[/color] She turned her head, her eyes aflame as they looked at the god. [color=Red]“So tell me, Jiugui the Drunken God, how is it that you’ve come here?”[/color] Another shrug. "By foot 'n fallin'. Or wazzit fallin' zhen footin'? Def-deffulidd-... Ugh, deffinidly a lotta fallin'. DHEN! … Walkin'... Waiz, wha'wasz yourr queshun? Oh, righz, how I gozz here… Sho!" He pulled up his sleeves for some reason. “I wasz walkin’... Didz I say zhat alreadzy? And then, and th-the-the-thnnn, [i]fffffrrrtr-lelelelele![/i], and dhen I foundz a gave, cave. Iiiiiiii entzered... This fffffhing!” A fat finger pointed at Yachtectzumatzim. “Shorry, rude, thish very mush livin’ creashur, attack’d me.” He squinted and shut one eye, the other one balling the ceiling. “Thing thaszit.” [color=Red]"Uh huh. I see. And you uh, care very much about 'wine', tell me more about that."[/color] She had settled down a bit, although her tail still moved somewhat erratically she kept her fore limbs caring for the Achtotlaca while she spoke and carried on with the drunken god. The fat man grinned from ear to ear, his lips parting slowly like tectonic plates to reveal teeth as yellow as urine, filling his mouth like the tangents of a soiled piano. “Why, I dabbow, yesz,” he confessed and rubbed the rim of his cup with a hint of shy modesty. It filled again and he downed its contents. “Sho, wine’z whadd’appens when sweed thingz, or jusz anygindathing withz enuff shugarz innit, migses widd, uh, whater ‘n… Yeast! Yeast…” He hummed. “Sometimez the yeast iz in dhe water already… Sometimes id kinda jusz falls in dhere. Real weird how id worgz. Anyway!” He poured another cup for the heat goddess and floated it up to her again. “... The produgt begomes dis, dis jusz gread mix ov’ flavourz, y’know! Plus - there’sz algohl… Algohul… Al-go-hol innid. Y’know whadd algull iz?” [color=Red]"No I don't really, why don't you tell me more about 'al-go-hol'. Something to do with the Yeast is it?"[/color] In truth she had no idea what a yeast was but the smaller deity seemed quite happy to talk about all this, and she was content to care for her mortal in the meanwhile. “Ogey, sho!” The fat man rolled up his sleeves, which at that point had fallen back down, once again, doing a terrible job folding them so that they would sit in place. He then proceeded to slur his way through several paragraphs of brewing chemistry and all the different factors any good brewer would have to keep in mind when making beer, wine, strong wine and liquor. He went into detail about strains of yeast and how each strain brought something new to the table, either with a tolerance for higher alcohol content, a stronger appetite for sugar, sensitivity to temperature or other features that would all impact the flavour and texture of the drink. He mentioned the importance of salts, temperature, preservatives and flavourings such as hops, meadwort, sugars and, of course, made no effort to hide his very strong fascination for the effects of alcohol. “Id givesz me insprashun, almose,” he proclaimed and raised his cup in the air. “Thish stuff… My brainz workz overtzime onnit.” Then he cleared his throat with no regard for manners and spoke, without so much as a hiccup, [centre][i]Wine, wine, wine of mine - Textures soft and taste divine; To me you are a lord benign! The way you catch the moonlight’s shine - What can it be if not a sign? That our two fates as one align? A truth unchallenged, genuine! Eternal union sans decline.”[/i][/centre] He burped and bowed. “‘N das al-gool for ya. Any queshuns?” [color=Red]“Is there any way to make it less cold? It seems rather flammable too at that, not exactly the universal drink.”[/color] Yoliyachicoztl flung out the little question as if she hadn’t a care and was just making conversation, but her eyes remained burning and fixed upon the other deity. The thrumming was upon her in small part, it was manageable to an extent, although she could feel her annoyance build dealing with the less than clear Jiugui at points... The drunk god rubbed his chin and squinted his eyes to the point where they were by all accounts closed. He hummed with deep thought and then shrugged yet again. “Nah, dunzhinkso… Ezzanol boils faster than wader, whish is unfordunate down here.” He rubbed his chin. “Couz make somezhin’ thad worgs in hozzer climades, tho’.” He sat down and conjured forth a wide porcelain cauldron. He strolled around the room and sniffed the air. Then he picked a nearby geode melon, then some golden berries, before stirring it all into lava. He then picked some metallic fuzz growing on a magmatic fruit tree and drizzled it over the pot. He then stirred the contents around and poured it into a lavastone jug about the size of himself. He twisted a mustache and cast a glance over at Yoliyachicozti. “Ogey, I gozz no proof thisz’ll work.” [color=Red]”If you already had proof that this would work, that you knew exactly what to be done, there wouldn’t be much room for experimentation or inspiration as you so delight in, or have I misinterpreted your great sayings my drunken maker?”[/color] She twirled her head this way and that as she spoke to him, taking a small pleasure in the movement. The drunk god nodded in agreement. “Zound ‘n wise, dear colleague. Sound ‘n wize.” Whatever was happening in the jug went through weeks and weeks of fermentation within the span of a minute and Jiugui then unlidded it and breathed in the sulphurous stink of his new invention. “... Could thiz be…” He dipped his cup into the pot and pulled it up, only to notice that his hand was empty and that the cup had melted. He conjured forth a stronger cup with a higher melting point and filled it up with the searing hot beverage. He took a sip and rolled the liquid around in his mouth, pursing his lips after swallowing. “Ogey… It definizely burns…” He filled a cup for the heat goddess and floated it up to her. “Do you taste zhe burnt notes?” A fore limb lifted to pluck the cup up from his grasp, taking the brim close to the heat goddess’s mouth. She turned it away a brief moment, pouring a small few drops careful to the side of her head as her eye and divine sense gazed through it. Finally, she brought it back and lifting her head poured the drink in. The initial flavour could most accurately be described as smokey with a sandy aftertaste, though the texture was gooey and, not to mention, scaldingly hot (though more like a lightly cooled drink to the Heat Goddess). Then came the burn - a quite literal sear down the throat that stung all the way to the sphincter muscle above the stomach sack; in the belly, it lingered like hot coals in the hearth, filling the goddess with a faint sense of joy and satisfaction. The remnants that remained in her mouth produced a black smoke that oozed out between her teeth and left a charcoal (or perhaps more stonecoal) aftertaste. Jiugui had similar streaks of smoke pour out of his mouth, though he seemed less than pleased with the flavour. Already, he was tinkering with the contents of his pot to see whether he could achieve something different. However, just as he decided to add some more lava, the pressure inside the pot built up to unfathomable levels. Before long, the little drunken god was blown away by a colossal explosion of fire and gas, sending him flying out of the cave with a scream “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa[sub]aaaaaaaa…!”[/sub] The Goddess silently watched him go, not taking a moment to try to stop the build up nor the explosion that sent him flying. Calmly she sloshed a bit more into her cup to examine it- it would take a bit for her child to wake, and he had to learn well the making of the same mixture. Something like this needed to be preserved and protected under wise gaze, and she had a feeling he had some wisdom now at least, or she would make sure of such... [hider=Vigour summary!] Jiugui - 11 vigourz -1 (reduced to 0): Create a monument - The Hill of Flies: A reeking pile of divine excrement that intoxicates those around it. If someone were to harvest bits of it and dry it, the resulting product would burn for a whole year. Attracts insects and insectophages by the tons. -1 (reduced to 0): Curse Yachtectzumatzim, Guardian of the Northern Tunnel, with the Madness of the Drunken God. This curse may only affect those who have made an attempt on Jiugui’s life or tried to harm him physically at melee range. It breaks down one’s reason and memories and makes the body sluggish with drunkenness. Targets become prone to sudden outbreaks of erratic behaviour and develop severe alcoholism along with abstinences should they go too long without it. End: Joogee - 11 vigourz, lawl [/hider] [hider=Summary] Picking up where we last left off, Jiugui’s just finished escaping the bjorks he made. He gets the hangover shits and takes a colossal shit somewhere in the Thousand Lakes, then finds one of the entrances to the magma network. He decides to explore it and gets scared shitless by a lava lizard calling himself Yachtectzumatzim, Guardian of the Northern Tunnel. The lizard tries to eat Jiugui and gulps him down, only to then experience the absolute terror that is the taste of Jiugui. The alcoholic god poisons him with a terrible curse and gets gulped back up, laughing bullyingly at the lizard with diss tracks. It is then when Yoliyachicoztl appears and is fucking pissed that Jiugui’s poisoned one of her bois and also dissed him. She demands Jiugui unpoison him, which as it turns out Jiugui is unable to do. No wine more potent than Jiugui, so not even Jiugui knows how to undrunk someone who drank him. Yoli sighs in quiet understanding and the two exchange greetings and try to get to know each other. Yoli asks if Jiugui is the Singing Maker, but Jiugui doesn’t remember. Jiugui offers her a drink, but it evaporates in her hand. Yoli asks Jiugui to explain what alcohol is and he does so in great detail. In order to make a drink Yoli can enjoy, Jiugui makes firewater, which is wine made from lava, magma cave fruits and metallic “yeast”. After giving Yoli a taste, he tries to improve it, at which point the pressure built up inside the brewing jug explodes and sends Jiugui flying offscreen. The post ends with Yoli committing the recipe for firewater to memory. [/hider]