Josh smiled and then laughed as Serena said what she reckoned Kay and John would say if they were out here. "I get the feeling they'd be more about actually making out under a tree than just mentioning it" he laughed as he took in the area where the mill house sat properly. It was a lovely hidden away area, that much he did have to admit to.

"good idea kiddo" Chas replied, grabbing the empty bits from Trish's breakfast and Kay's that had since gone cold and stale from everything, and brought it into the kitchen with Trish.

Kay saw how John was refusing to look up at her, no doubt thinking the worst was about to be said which made her feel guilty for how she just reacted a short while ago. She waited for Chas and Trish to exit the room then walked to where John was and sat beside him. "I'm not leaving..." she started with the big reassurance. She stared at her lap as if it would help her get her words out, "I just can't wrap my head around it all that's all. The kid thing? That's a shock yeah, but nowhere near as sho King as what Serena told us... I'm still learning to accept the fact I love someone that's not family. Let alone having to think about our future together and if kids would even be a thing for us.

I... I'm just terrified by the prospect of bringing a child into this world and putting them in danger constantly, even if this person was capable of saving you yesterday. The idea that we may in the future would have said or done something that meant they felt the need to have to set things right? It scares me John. It scares me to think about how wrong we must have gone or how bad it must be in her world that she had to come back to ours. But the idea of losing you even before we get that far in our relationship or I end up pregnant with your kid scares me even more. I'm terrified that I'll snap and I won't just lose you and the oppoeto have a family with you, but also that I'll lose myself and give Hell and all its demons a world on earth they're wanting to use me for." she sighed.

"I don't want to become this raging monster and be seen as nothing but that... Fee told me my kind can be known for turning dark if their negative emotions overpower them and I know if I lose you I will be that monster. I don't want to be alone John... I can't lose you or our chance to be a family" she said, beginning to choke on her words as she tried to not cry all over again, grabbing for his hands and wrapping them in her own hands. Feeling the roughness of his skin in the smoothness of her own. "I need you John" she said shakily again.