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[hider=i'm not sorry]4:45 couldn’t come fast enough, and by the time Aaron stumbled out of his last class of the night, he felt like he’d been dipped in lead, shuffling back to the dining hall in awe of himself. He was no stranger to fatigue, but usually it was either physical or magical, not [i]both![/i] After an already strenuous day on a body that probably wasn’t fit for such rigours after the past few weeks to begin with, his introduction to Shielding and Defusing had successfully taken everything Aaron had left, leaving him wondering if magic itself could get sore after such a workout. 

Lurching into an empty chair in the dining hall, Aaron checked his watch, only to let his head fall onto his arm for a moment of much anticipated rest. How would he make it back to the cul-de-sac like this? Lilie told him she’d be ready for him at five, so he only had fifteen minutes to compose himself. It wouldn’t really do to collapse in Count Benjamin’s foyer, even if the Count himself was going to be out for the evening. 

Heavy as his limbs were, though, that thought made him light again; he was due for a dinner date in fifteen minutes! [i]He was due for a dinner date in fifteen minutes.[/i] What did that even [i]mean?[/i] Giddiness turned to nervousness in the space of a heartbeat, the blond face to face with the demoralizing extent of his inexperience. Moon above, his most intimate experience with a girl before Lilie was flirting with the kitchen girls back home, and he sucked at it! But it wasn’t like they’d [i]do[/i] anything – or wait, maybe he could steal another kiss while he was there – [i]could[/i] he steal a kiss while he was there? – but come on, it couldn’t be that hard, right? 

He was going to make a fool of himself. 

It was probably smart to just accept that as fact and trust that Lilie wouldn’t hold it against him. She was familiar enough with his trip-ups by now, and surely the whole campus was aware that he was an utter mess under the put-together Starag facade. The most he needed to worry about was keeping Varis in the dark. 

The thought sat oddly with Aaron, and he finally lifted his head from the table, crossing his arms. Not that he was a stranger to sneaking around, but to plan it out so [i]intentionally[/i] felt... wrong. Dirty. But he tried to push the feeling aside. Like he’d told himself a million times since lunch, this would be the last time. One last goodbye to his sneaky, rebellious ways before turning over a new leaf. Every mage had their secrets – even Malek, surely. The guilt of this memory would only serve to fuel his efforts at reform. Right?

He groaned, remembering something terrible. Like he expected, Varis texted earlier telling him not to show his face around the Sinnenodel dorm until his 6pm curfew, giving him a little over an hour to spend with Lilie. And he fully intended to use every second of that time, but that left Aaron with a rather important job left undone: making his final goodbyes to his family before cutting them off for a year. 

A sick feeling gripped his stomach, a newer, deep-seated guilt rising in him like bile. He had to find some way to tell his mother and aunts that he was wilfully cutting them out of his life for a year, and all he could think about all day was a date. Between his classes, lunch, and his return at curfew where he was expected to give his answer, there was no time to communicate anything except, well, right now. But how could he do that? He would have liked at least a few nights to get his affairs in order, figure out what he was going to say, but he didn’t have that luxury. And given the chain of events that led him here, it probably wasn’t one he deserved anyway. 

But his [i]family[/i] deserved better, even if he didn’t. That was what sucked the most; the ultimate weight of his shortcomings, however personal and unique, always fell on his family. Their reputation. Their [i]name[/i]. Was he even fit to bear it anymore? 

Aaron pulled out his phone, trying to swallow the painful lump growing in his throat. It was now or never, and his thumb trembled as he dialed his mother’s number. 

The phone rang several times, but there was no answer. 

He drew a shaky breath before the voicemail kicked in, having to come up with something to say in a matter of seconds before the beep. There was a long, silent moment of hesitation, but he finally spoke, voice strained but firm. 

[color=f0d705]“Hi, mom. Listen, I… I haven’t been representing myself well, and I’m sorry. But I’ve been given a chance to make things right. I won’t be able to talk for a while, but this is something I have to do. I know I haven’t turned out like you hoped I would, but I’m going to do my best to make you proud. To make everyone proud. 

Please don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I hope you understand. 

I love you. See you next year.”[/color]

[color=f0d705][center]~ /// ~[/center][/color]
By the time he started his walk to the Eve dorm, Aaron still felt heavy. But it was no longer fatigue that weighed down his limbs, but the sad finality of the message he’d left. It seemed so uncouth to say his goodbyes for an entire year with a voicemail, let alone the texts he’d fired off to his aunts for want of time. He started out his journey feeling like the scum of the earth for giving his family so little consideration. 

But if he was being honest, there was also a little, guilty feeling of relief that he wasn’t able to talk to any of his relatives. His voicemail was sloppy, it wasn’t really what he wanted, but an actual phone call would have been a mess; his mother probably would have started crying, which would have made him feel even lower than he already did, and it would have been a long and painful ordeal leaving everyone worse off than they started. Yeah, maybe a clean break was better. No need to draw it out, just rip the band-aid off and be done with it. 

It sounded selfish, but it made the blond feel a little less like garbage as he rounded the turn toward the noble cul-de-sac. A year wasn’t too long, right? Aaron had already spent four months at the Academy with Varis, and it still felt like his first week. Despite her adjusted workload, his mother was busy, and his aunts even more so, and he was sure he’d personally be up to his neck in anything Varis could throw at him to temper him into a Sinnenodel mage worthy of the name. The months would probably fly by with nary a moment to look up and breathe. It would be over before any of them even knew it. 

Besides, they were fine without him. They got on for decades before him, and the castle ran quite smoothly in his absence. It didn’t seem like he left much of a hole behind.

That thought, while melancholy in its own right, calmed his mind enough to put away his regrets as he approached the Eve dorm. There was no sign of Varis in the windows of the Sinnenodel dorm, thankfully, and as he looked Aaron’s eyes wandered to the low stone wall separating their dorms. His gaze lingered there, and he remembered that one beautiful night that Lilie caught him practicing and deigned to sing with him. It almost seemed silly in hindsight – anytime he remembered how awful and shaky his voice must have been trying to harmonize he couldn’t help but cringe – but he wouldn’t have traded the moment for the world, and it warmed his heart to think that he helped encourage her to put her voice to use at the party. That was probably one of the moments that led him to the Eve dorm tonight – that and that beautiful Revel night on the beach that he still pored over when he needed some encouragement. 

It was kind of funny how all of his fond memories of Lilie were nights that ended in disaster for him, but he could cut out the good moments like newspaper clippings and keep them while banishing the bad. Besides, with his new arrangement, that probably wouldn’t happen again. 

Feeling a little more confident for his daydreaming, Aaron finally mustered up the nerve to mount the stairs and knock on the door, hoping against hope Count Benjamin was gone and wouldn’t see him looking like a lovesick idiot who hadn’t slept in three weeks. 

The knock on the door somehow reached Lilie despite the absolute chaos of pots and pans she had going in the kitchen. In hindsight, an hour wasn’t very long at all and the panic settled in once she had stepped into the kitchen. After kicking Ben out of the dorm, Lilie went about her preparations like a madwoman, a symphony of chopping and grumbling and despair as her ambition got the best of her. Granted, nothing seemed to stop her hands except for her constantly checking the time and getting more panicked, but overall she was a little proud of herself.

For some reason, ‘dinner’ turned into ‘dinner and dessert’ and the girl had thrown in something in the oven while she cooked. She didn’t get a chance to ask about preferences nor did she try to measure out Aaron’s tastes, instead aiming for something flavorful. But flavor meant more ingredients and Lilie was up to her elbows in those, too many ideas coming around until she found herself with a full stove.

Once she heard the knock of the door, Lilie wiped her brow and left the kitchen. She stopped at the door, realizing too little too late that she was a mess. She had managed to change from her school clothes into a more comfortable brown-and-beige striped sweater dress and slippers, but she hadn’t touched up her makeup, she was pretty sure her hair was skewed this way and that, and she still had on her frilly apron. But it was too late to run to her room, so instead she settled for hastily running her fingers through her bangs and tightening her ponytail.

Of course, any care about that went away once she opened the door, giving Aaron a smile. [color=00BFFF]“Good evening, Mr. Starag,”[/color] She greeted him, deciding to put on a touch of formality for fun. [color=00BFFF]“Won’t you come in?”[/color]

Aaron almost panicked when he heard the doorknob turn, but any semblance of negativity melted away when he saw Lilie, dolled up in a sweater dress he [i]really[/i] wished she’d wear to class more often and smiling gorgeously up at him. 

That cute little greeting brought him instant delight, and he happily played along, humouring Lilie with a polished Starag bow. [color=f0d705]“Good evening, Miss Dionne. With pleasure,”[/color] he replied, his prim tone clashing with the wide smile splitting his face. He stepped in as Lilie beckoned him, and his heart jumped a little when the door closed behind them. They were alone. Together. With nobody anywhere to see. In a Count’s dorm!

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, Aaron got a lungful of something warm and inviting wafting from the kitchen. [color=f0d705]“Oh wow, that smells fantastic,”[/color] he commented, giving his host a knowing look as he took off his coat. [color=f0d705]“The cooks in the dining hall really will be jealous.”[/color] 

Lilie tried to calm her racing heart, realizing that nervousness was mixed in with her excitement. Or was it anticipation? Whatever it was had her face feeling a lot hotter than it should have, her own smile permanently plastered on her face as she took his coat and hung it up. Oh boy, she hoped he couldn’t tell how nervous she was, but even as the thought crossed her mind, once she turned back to face him, it was hard to ignore the beating in her chest.

Tucking some hair behind her ear, she tried not to get too embarrassed at his compliment. Even if she was boasting earlier, suddenly she didn’t want to come off as too show-boaty. She should thank him, right? Or maybe play it off with a joke? Why was it suddenly so hard to come up with something to say?

[color=00BFFF]“Y-Yeah…”[/color] She quietly muttered, her hand fiddling with her apron until she remembered she was still cooking. [color=00BFFF]“Oh, um, why don’t you come and see what I’m working on?”[/color] She suggested, relieved she had found something to say.

Aaron felt a little weird letting Lilie take his coat, but she [i]was[/i] the host. He stepped out of his shoes as she hung it up, only remembering just as Lilie did that cooking wasn’t something you could just step away from to humour a date in the foyer ogling your dress.

[color=f0d705]“Oh, of course!”[/color] he replied, maybe a little too enthusiastically. He tried to laugh it off, and failing that, just extended his arm, adding a quick, [color=f0d705]“After you.”[/color] 

Lilie led him to the kitchen, and Aaron stepped lightly, still pretty uneasy about being in another Count’s dorm while the Count himself was out. He was no more comfortable recalling the last – and only – time he’d been in here, on Revel when Count Benjamin first arrived and he had to deliver Lilie home in a… less than optimal state. 

Probably for the best the Count wasn’t here tonight. 

The whole dorm surprised Aaron by how different it could be from his own while sharing an identical layout, but the kitchen was what shocked him most of all. In sharp contrast to the Sinnenodel kitchen, whose only use was the coffee maker and occasionally the microwave and kept spotless at all times, this kitchen was… wow. It was a mess. Well, that was unfair: Aaron could tell it was probably clean when it wasn’t in use, but he stepped into a kitchen in full swing, counters and stove top covered in pots and pans and implements of all sorts, some of which he wasn’t fully confident he could name. It was warm, busy and smelled fantastic – not surprising so many mages found such comfort in cooking during the wintertime. 

[color=f0d705]“Wow,”[/color] Aaron breathed, taking it all in. He stood stiffly at the threshold for a second before realizing this was a date and not a formal dinner and that he could probably follow Lilie fully inside. Come on, all this rigidity was bound to make Lilie uncomfortable! Aaron did his best to shrug it off, even going so far as to lean on the counter – even if he looked a little unnatural doing it. 

But it was the cook who deserved his attention, not the kitchen, and Aaron turned to Lilie with eyebrows raised in awe. [color=f0d705]“You did [i]all[/i] this yourself?”[/color]

Lilie was a little surprised at Aaron’s surprise—and minorly horrified at how bombastic the kitchen looked. She was usually better at cleaning as she went, but in her hurry everything looked pretty chaotic. There was no hiding her feeble attempt at cleanup as she shoved the cutting board into the sink, though she supposed there was little she could do by this point.

Instead, she nodded in response to his question. Perking up a touch, she figured she would renege on her previous point and try to impress him. [color=00BFFF]“On tonight’s menu, the cook has decided on a roast chicken with lemon, sage, and parsley stuffing,”[/color] She informed him, swelling with the tiniest hint of pride. [color=00BFFF]“And for dessert, there will be a salted caramel cupcake! Though it’s, um...not done, that’ll finish once we finish eating.”[/color] She got a little bashful, clearing her throat. [color=00BFFF]“But everything else is almost done! I didn’t want to keep you waiting for too long.”[/color]

Aaron’s look of shock persisted as Lilie listed off her menu, and the blond realized he’d probably need to re-evaluate his entire understanding of cooking. [color=f0d705]“Wow,”[/color] he repeated, looking around again. She really did all that herself! Moon above, Lilie had a way of shining a light on his sheltered upbringing – he would have assumed it took a whole kitchen staff to make something that impressive-sounding. 

[color=f0d705]“I can’t wait,”[/color] he said at last, taken aback by the effort Lilie must have taken to make all of this for [i]him[/i]. The poor girl still had her apron on (though it wouldn’t hurt his feelings if that remained throughout the evening – he wouldn’t have thought of frills as “alluring” until tonight, but here he was) and what looked like the equipment of ten cooks was scattered around the kitchen. He obviously didn’t know what went into preparing a meal like this, but he was pretty sure it was far more than his company warranted. 

[color=f0d705]“I hope I didn’t put you out too much,”[/color] he apologized, looking sheepish. [color=f0d705]“I’d offer to help, but I’m not even allowed to cook eggs at home, so it’s probably better if I don’t touch anything.”[/color] 

Lilie grinned, allowing herself to relax and lean against the counter. Sure, it wasn’t something she did every day, and she had run herself haggard, but it was well within her ability (as she had talked herself out of trying something new for convenience’s sake). [color=00BFFF]“It’s okay, you’re worth it,”[/color] She told him, albeit once the words were in the air, the realization hit her as her face flushed red. [color=00BFFF]“I’m used to it. I mean, I did make a bold claim, so I figured, you know, may as well go all out. But it’s no biggie. You know. Just...um, just doing what I do...and…”[/color] She trailed off rather pathetically, lowering her gaze to the ground.

Barely even hearing the stuttering afterward, that little “you’re worth it” had Aaron floating on air, his ears burning under his hair. It was comforting that Lilie seemed as unsure as he was, though, and he had to admit – that blush was pretty damn cute. He hesitated for a moment, his usual safeguards ringing in his ear as usual, but pushed them aside: nobody could see them here, and this was supposed to be his last hurrah, so why not go for it? 

Before he could change his mind, Aaron reached out and pulled Lilie to him, very happy to have embraced his rebellious side when he caught Lilie’s lips in a kiss. He stayed there for a few seconds, inwardly gaping at his own forwardness and soaking up the moment before releasing her. 

[color=f0d705]“Thank you,”[/color] he told her, unable to stop his grin. [color=f0d705]“I can’t wait to try it.”[/color]

The sudden movement surprised her, though every thought, cohesive or otherwise, flew out the window once they kissed. [i]Kissed[/i]. Again! Right here! At least her delight managed to push down her nerves, the smallest touch of giddiness hitting her in full once they parted. She was flushed and breathless and happy and a lot more comfortable, though as she looked into his eyes, all she cared about right now was him.

[color=00BFFF]“You’re welcome,”[/color] Her words were quiet, but she could only look at him in awe and admiration as she took his hands in hers. [color=00BFFF]“I, um...really hoped we’d get to do that again…”[/color]

Aaron was still a little in awe of himself, but if it made Lilie look that happy, he must have been doing something right. Butterflies surged in his stomach, and his ears grew even hotter, making him grateful his cheeks didn’t usually blush. [color=f0d705]“Me… me too,”[/color] he replied haltingly, chuckling at his own nervousness. At least it was much less than before; in fact, they both seemed a lot more at ease now. They could tune you up, calm you down… it was amazing what a kiss could do. 

[color=f0d705]“So, uh… what now?”[/color] he asked awkwardly, though he punctuated the question with another laugh, shaking his head at himself. [color=f0d705]“Can you tell I’ve never done this before?”[/color] 

Now it was Lilie’s turn to be surprised, her eyebrows shooting up. Didn’t he know how handsome he was? There was no way no one had ever approached him before, right? As she thought about it, however, she understood. [color=00BFFF]“Oh, like...no one’s ever cooked for you?”[/color] She asked him. 

Laughing, Aaron shook his head. [color=f0d705]“Nah, if nobody ever cooked for me before I’d probably be dead,”[/color] he chuckled, although he soon grew sheepish. [color=f0d705]“I’ve just never, you know…”[/color] he glanced to the side, lowering his voice a bit. [color=f0d705]“I’ve never really been on a [i]date[/i].”[/color]

That wasn’t what she meant, but she was a little distracted by his admission to correct him. [color=00BFFF]“What?”[/color] Lilie was in complete disbelief, though she tried to wrap her brain around the idea. [color=00BFFF]“But...no. No, that can’t be right. I mean, have you [i]looked[/i] at yourself? And...and you’re sweet, and patient, and gentle, and...and no one’s ever asked you out?”[/color]

Okay, well, maybe people were intimidated by him; he [i]was[/i] a Starag after all, and she remembered her own reaction in finding that out. But then the opposite was just as difficult to believe! [color=00BFFF]“And you’ve never liked anyone enough to ask them out, either?”[/color] She ended up asking. [color=00BFFF]“But...that means I’m the first to…?”[/color]

Ah, his ears were going to catch on fire if she kept complimenting him! Aaron could hardly look Lilie in the eye, and the kitchen got a lot warmer as she started listing off his apparently date-able qualities. Moon above, she was so generous! Not that he thought she’d insult him or anything, she was much too kind and understanding to do that, but there was no way he came off as [i]that[/i] good without at least a few of his many glaring flaws creeping in. Good looks, fair enough – he wasn’t vain, but his family was carefully bred for certain aesthetic qualities – but all that? No way. 

[color=f0d705]“Yep, you get the honours,”[/color] he eventually confessed, grinning sheepishly as he offered a little gesture of presentation. He shook his head, his smile more embarrassed than anything, but still clinging to his face. [color=f0d705]“Remember, I grew up in Noila castle! My family is very curated! Which meant no cavorting in the servants’ quarters.”[/color]

He burst into a real laugh at that, cringing at his words even as he said them and wagging a finger for good measure. [color=f0d705]“The Academy is my first real chance at… [i]anything[/i] like this, and even then, it’s…”[/color] he bit his lip. 

Lilie could hardly believe what she was hearing, but she hung onto his every word. Aaron really was a good guy, wasn’t he? Very formal, and very by-the-books, but it was really charming. As he trailed off, she couldn’t help the slightly devilish giggle. Okay, maybe she wasn’t as rigid as he was, but she wasn’t some badass biker chick or anything. She was as plain as vanilla ice cream, the most daring thing she had ever done was pierce her ears. And that wasn’t even daring, that was a birthday present!

[color=00BFFF]“Daring?”[/color] She asked. [color=00BFFF]“Well, you [i]are[/i] cavorting with the rabble now, you’re basically a rebel.”[/color]

Aaron wanted to sink into the floor with embarrassment, but fortunately, Lilie seemed to take it in stride. [color=f0d705]“Daring is a good word for it,”[/color] he replied, pulling Lilie into another hug as the sheer volume of that underestimation struck him. But he had to laugh; she was kinda right, after all. Of course, he wasn’t sure if he’d call her Lilie “rabble”. 

[color=f0d705]“You know me, Mr. Rebellious,”[/color] he joked back, even if it left him in doubt whether he was really joking at all. Before meeting Lilie, his biggest act of rebellion was probably wearing argyle socks, but here he was. 

Well, that wasn’t entirely true, but still. 

A timer on the stove beeped, pulling Aaron out of his head and off that train of thought, probably for the better. [color=f0d705]“Does that mean it’s done?”[/color] he asked, releasing Lilie so she could take care of whatever it was that needed her attention.

The girl nodded, reluctantly stepping away and pressing a few buttons on the stove. [color=00BFFF]“Why don’t you have a seat? I’ll bring you your plate,”[/color] She told him as she looked through the cabinets for said plates. Stepping back to the stove, she double checked that everything was done before grabbing a pair of tongs and a spatula. Encouraged by the conversation, she went about plating the meat and vegetables as artfully as she could muster.

Once she finished, she hastily whipped some cream and plopped it onto the cupcakes, leaving them under a dome as she hurried to the fridge. Pulling out a pitcher, she quickly sliced some fruit before throwing them in, grabbing a pair of cups and placing everything on a tray. Everything looked perfect, much to her delight, and she carefully brought over the tray to the table where Aaron sat.

[color=00BFFF]“Dinner is served, my good sir,”[/color] She decided to keep up the charade for a little longer, placing the plate and empty cup in front of him. Pouring his drink into his glass, she did the same for her own cup, putting her own plate in front of her seat and tugging at her apron, folding it gently and placing it on the tray. While she was eager to eat, she made sure she didn’t take the first bite, instead watching Aaron intently for his reaction.

Aaron did as he was bid, inwardly glad she didn’t want him to help; while his serving skills far outmatched his cooking skills, with his luck he’d probably drop something and ruin the meal Lilie put so much effort into. He felt a little odd sitting alone in the dining room, almost like he was waiting for a meal from the staff at home (which was certainly not the case here – Lilie was far above them), but his uneasiness was forgotten when Lilie appeared, carrying a tray laden with impressive food. 

[color=f0d705]“Wow,”[/color] he said for the umpteenth time that night, his admiration plain on his face as Lilie distributed plates and glasses. [color=f0d705]“Very impressive.”[/color] 

The food smelled excellent and looked professionally done, plated elegantly but not so beautiful as to discourage the diner from eating it. It took Aaron a second to realize Lilie was waiting for him to eat first, though, and he snatched up his utensils almost a little too fast, eagerly cutting into his chicken and taking a bite. 

[color=f0d705][i]“Mmmh,”[/i][/color] he groaned happily, savouring the mouthful before he could talk. [color=f0d705]“You really weren’t kidding about the cooks here, were you?”[/color] he teased, offering a grateful smile and taking another bite. He was no food critic, but the chicken was moist and flavourful and comforting, and it was all complimented by the unbelievably gratifying fact that Lilie had done it all for [i]him.[/i] [color=f0d705]“This is beautiful! Thank you so much. I am definitely adding this to my journal.”[/color] 

Lilie could’ve exploded with happiness at Aaron’s approval, though she did let out a very quiet sigh of relief. He liked it! The panic and mess and chaotic kitchen were worth it! The girl was practically beaming as she finally decided to cut out her own piece to eat, though his last statement was a little curious.

[color=00BFFF]“You’re very welcome,”[/color] She replied first and foremost, though before she took a bite, she decided to comment, [color=00BFFF]“I’m flattered you’d include me in your journal. Is it something you use for memories?”[/color]

[color=f0d705]“Not really, although that would be a good idea,”[/color] Aaron commented, making a mental note to consider that as part of his Mental program coping scheme. He took another bite before speaking again, only now realizing how hungry he was. [color=f0d705]“I mostly just keep health journals. You know, tracking my weight, workouts, vitals, any issues that come up – and food, of course.”[/color] He smiled, gesturing to the plate. [color=f0d705]“I usually only track rough caloric and nutritional intake, but I do mark down when I have especially tasty meals I’d like to have again.”[/color] 

Wow, Aaron was really into his health. Lilie kept track of her weight anytime she was under where she needed to be, but that usually meant adding some baked goods to her diet. Aaron sounded like he was keeping himself optimal. That must be a mage thing since he was so casual about it. And she could still be flattered!

[color=00BFFF]“I’m happy to cook for you anytime,”[/color] She told him cheerfully before finally taking a bite. Ah, it [i]was[/i] good, he wasn’t just saying it! [color=00BFFF]“I usually cook for myself every day, so if you’re ever tired of the dining hall, you could come over.”[/color]

Aaron knew that was an offer he couldn’t freely accept, but that Lilie would make it at all filled him with a warmth he couldn’t quite describe. It was close to the warm, welcoming feeling of going home again, but not quite the same – there was just something new and precious about this feeling of being [i]wanted[/i], even if he couldn’t for the life of him understand why she did. 

He wanted nothing more than to cherish that feeling like a delicate ember inside him, but unfortunately the situation demanded a certain amount of honesty. [color=f0d705]“That’s really sweet, thank you,”[/color] he began. [color=f0d705]“I’d love to do this more often, it’s just… hard to tell how feasible it will be.”[/color] 

He held his hand up before Lilie could jump to any conclusions, realizing how bad that sounded. [color=f0d705]“I said that wrong, sorry,”[/color] he insisted, [color=f0d705]“It’s just— I guess I should tell you, things are going to be changing a bit for me soon, and I won’t really know what that’ll look like until later.”[/color] 

There, hopefully that was less scary? [color=f0d705]“Once I know, you’ll know,”[/color] he added, reaching for his fork once more. [color=f0d705]“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere or anything like that.”[/color]

It was hard to admit Lilie was disappointed, but she had to put her personal feelings aside as Aaron continued. For some reason, his words made her nervous; changes? Was it because of the assassination? But if Varis was alive, what did that have to do with Aaron?

[color=00BFFF]“What do you mean by that?”[/color] She ended up asking, frowning. [color=00BFFF]“What’s changing?”[/color]

Aaron used another bite of food as an excuse to put his thoughts in order, trying to figure out how to put the situation delicately. It was times like these he really wished he was better with words. If he just came out and said it, Lilie might get the wrong impression; she was still pretty unfamiliar with the vampire-mage world and might mistake it for cruelty, not seeing the need for drastic measures. But he couldn’t just [i]lie[/i] either. Could he?

No, he shouldn’t. Besides, it would become obvious sooner or later; best get the discussion out of the way now. [color=f0d705]“Well, my relationship with my Master has been a bit… difficult for both of us, so in the wake of all this recent commotion, he decided some changes should be made.”[/color]

Aaron caught the uneasy look on Lilie’s face and tried to comfort her. [color=f0d705]“It’s nothing really out of the ordinary, I promise. He just figured – and I agree – that having so many remnants of Noila life around me is kind of… inhibiting my transition from the Noilas to the Sinnenodels. And that’s not good for either of us, it just makes everything harder, so going forward, I’m going to make more of a… a clean break.”[/color] 

He took another bite of his food to emphasize the triviality of the matter, even if he didn’t quite see it that way himself. But that was mostly just his own whining; mages lost contact with their families all the time when they changed houses, he wasn’t entitled to any more than they were. 

Lilie stared at Aaron the entire time he spoke, though once he finished, she had no idea how to reply to that. A ‘difficult relationship’ was something everyone had with the Sinnenodel TA, but if she understood him right, Varis was making Aaron cut off all ties with his past life. Because...that would somehow make things easier? Wouldn’t that just make Aaron resentful? That was literally the punishment Salem had to go through!

[color=00BFFF]“I’m sorry to hear that he’s making you do that,”[/color] Lilie finally spoke, frowning. [color=00BFFF]“But...do you actually think that’s a good idea?”[/color]

Aaron shook his head quickly, wanting to dispel that misconception as soon as possible. [color=f0d705]“Oh no, he’s not making me do anything. He gave me a choice,”[/color] he explained. [color=f0d705]“And yeah, I do. I know it’ll be hard for a while, but… this is my life now. Clinging to the one I lost just makes it harder for me to fit into my new role, and that isn’t good for Master and it [i]certainly[/i] isn’t good for me.”[/color] 

He wanted to return to his meal to try and make light of the situation, but the look on Lilie’s face made him feel guilty. [color=f0d705]“It’s fine, I promise,”[/color] he insisted, taking a bite for good measure. [color=f0d705]“Besides, it’s only for a year.”[/color] 

For some reason, his words hit her hard. It sounded logical and it made sense; if you just kept clinging to the past, it wasn’t possible to move on and leave the future open. It genuinely sounded like a good thing from his perspective and if she was being honest, she should think the same way. But it was also a terrifying thought to just up and leave [i]everything[/i] and everyone you knew behind, even if it was only temporary.

[color=00BFFF]“I see,”[/color] came her quiet reply after what felt like forever. 

Brow furrowing, Aaron set his utensils down and reached over, taking one of Lilie’s hands in his. [color=f0d705]“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up,”[/color] he apologized, offering a smile. [color=f0d705]“I don’t need to bother you with all that. I just wanted to explain because I don’t know what kind of availability I’ll have for nice things like this for the time being.”[/color] 

Lilie watched him for a moment, thinking of what she wanted to say. [color=00BFFF]“I want you to bother me, though,”[/color] She ended up admitting. [color=00BFFF]“But it’s not a bother. Your problems and the things that happen...I want you to count on me, you know?”[/color] She ended up squeezing his hand back, trying to find the right words she wanted to say.

[color=00BFFF]“I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone,”[/color] She told him. [color=00BFFF]“That’s what I’m here for. And even if it isn’t a lot, well...I’ll just be happy with what I can get. And we’ll figure it out as we go along, you know?”[/color]

Lilie’s words were heartwarming, but one in particular raised Aaron’s eyebrows. [color=f0d705]“So… there’s a ‘we’?”[/color]

The white haired girl opened her mouth, though she paused, blushing. [color=00BFFF]“I want there to be,”[/color] She said quietly, giving him a small smile. [color=00BFFF]“Do you?”[/color]

Aaron’s heart jumped in his throat. [color=f0d705]“I—I think so,”[/color] he stammered, mouth moving out of sync with his brain. Did that even make sense? Was this even possible for him? He didn’t know; all he knew was he wanted it desperately, and didn’t want to wait around to find out if it was. 

[color=f0d705]“Yes,”[/color] he amended, smiling despite himself. 

Lilie’s eyes practically shined at his response, her smile widening as she squeezed his hand gently. [color=00BFFF]“Then here we are,”[/color] She told him softly.

All the tension Aaron didn’t notice building up melted away at that little squeeze, chased out by that new, wonderful warmth Lilie instilled in his chest. He didn’t know what to say; instead, he rose from his chair and wrapped his arms around Lilie’s shoulders from behind hers, burying his face in her neck. 

[color=f0d705]“You’re the best,”[/color] was the best he could muster, giving her a kiss on the cheek. [color=f0d705]“It’ll be a much easier year with you around.”[/color][/hider]
[right][sub][@Hero][/sub][/right]