Watching Robs emotions as Jane explained her sobriety was like an opera - you didn’t have to understand the words, his face told all. And at first, Jane saw pain. She knew she hurt him, but [i]fuck[/i], ten years later and it still looked like it stung. Was it really just the heroin that killed him this much?

But he was proud of her, and hearing him saying it felt her body with a warmth, a calm. She never knew how well hidden she’d kept herself, or if Rob was ever really looking for her in the meantime. Or if she had been written off as a rough memory from the past, one you no longer bring up when telling stories.

[b]”But I missed you, and…we’re cool.”[/b]

A true smile cracked across Jane’s face, the one that got her the Julia Roberts comments. “Cool.”

The moment of peace between them cooled off almost immediately as Austin and Sam dove into the pool, splashing around like boys at a hotel.

Jane couldn’t explain it, but Rob’s request felt so…[i]innocent.[/i] The manor he asked if felt like it could have been said to anyone. In her fantasies of their true first night back talking, he’d be carrying her bridal style into the hallway by now.

And it that moment, she realized her and Rob were on very different pages. Hell, maybe different planets. Rob still cared for her, but it wasn’t in the way that Jane hoped, and she knew she’d have to deal with that.

But not now.

“Actually,” Jane cleared her throat, “I volunteered to call Evan and uh, getting close to bed time.”

It was 8:15. At home, she’d be fully moisturized, in bed, with her cat curled up next to her.

“But thanks for hearing me out. Have fun, yeah?”

Without turning around, Jane grabbed her water bottle and headed back into the house, closing the sliding door behind her and retreating down the hall.

Twenty-four year old Jane would be drunk by now, probably making a scene about her feelings. But, if she was going to prove to the world she wasn’t the addicted, distressed has-been that she assumed everyone thought she was, she’d have to prove it to her band mates first. And Rob. Specifically Rob.

The call went smoothly with Evan, assuring him the band is getting along just fine and writing together was beginning to click again. He asked when he’d have a song, and in a panic, Jane responded with a quick “tomorrow night!”

[i]Shit.[/i]

Before sinking in the tub, Jane hit send on a group message to the guys.

[b]Jane 9:30: [/b]so, Evan wants a song by tomorrow night. I have lots of lyrics ready to go. Let’s get together 8 am tomorrow?

[center]***[/center]

Jane’s stripped version of [url= https://youtu.be/fUY8CQ08PRM]Pornostartrek[/url] hurt as she sang it. She remembered telling Rob they’d play it at their wedding one day.

With a few quick strums, she ended the song. “Alright guys, thanks for sticking with me for another early morning live.” Jane sighed and put her  acoustic guitar down. “Usually, I’d just sign out…but today’s the day I tell you guys the secret.”

The comment section began to light up, everyone making their guesses. She saw her name once or twice and smiled.

First the glasses came off, then the hood.

“For you younger kids, I’m from that old band that keeps playing on the radio. And for those of you who might know, yes,” Jane held her arms out, revealing herself symbolically, “it’s me, Jane Molloy.”

She thought it was best at this point to stop reading the comments.

“In Bloom is making its resurgence, and hopefully, you’ll be seeing more of me without a disguise.” Jane bit her lip, planning what to say next. “Austin made me a real Instagram, it’s @janemolloyofficial. As for this account…” 

Jane took a deep breath.

“It’s time to move on. For those of you who know me, I’m sure the name Pennie now makes -“

Jane heard footsteps coming down the carpeted stairs, and in a panic, Jane grabbed her phone.

“Well,” she whispered. “It all makes sense now, doesn’t it? See you guys soon. Love you.”

Jane ended her live feed, cramming the phone in her pocket and rushing to the round meeting table in one of the studios side rooms. Plopped in front of her writing journal, she started to flip through the pages, hoping whoever was descending didn’t hear her confession.

She flipped to a song she thought would be good, pulled her hoody back up, and tucked her arms around her. [i]Real casual.[/i]