He stands, today. Did you expect otherwise? Did you intend to visit him at his sickbed, deliver the news when he was too ill to shout at you? Unfortunate; now you bar his way. He waits there for you to finish, dressed in his sharpest coat, hat perched proudly atop his fluffy head. You cannot escape his clever gaze. He sees you. He hears you. He takes you in like you are the only other soul aboard this vessel, [i]his[/i] vessel, and then? And then?!

He stumbles to close the distance. He throws his arms around you, and gathers you up in a soft, squeezing hug.

“You’ve come back to us.”

He chokes.

“I was so afraid…you’d lost yourself and your way. And we’d never see you again…”

If there is more to say on the matter, let it not be heard. If there is more to say, let it be said in the language of tears leaking from eyes squeezed shut. Of hats fallen to the deck, forgotten in the light of things far more important. Of arms trembling as they burn through precious reserves of strength to keep a once-lost friend from ever leaving again.

“If this is what you want.” How does such a small voice sound so steady? “If you think that a new desire might help you find your impossible dream, if it will help you build the language that show the shape of your heart, then I will find a new post for you at once. But please. Please. Don’t make a punishment of this.”

A last bit of strength. One last, little squeeze.

“Not when I’ve not asked for one.”

*****************************

“Redana. Darling. Do you know what else is cool?”

A single paw strains, reaches, and desperately pats at her back.

“Inside voices. [i]Please.”[/i]

This isn’t real. No. No. Don’t let him see. Isn’t it enough that she told him? He knows enough. Don’t. No. He can’t. Don’t make him see. He can’t see her. No. No. No. No. No.

“I, ah, it’s quite alright, no one asked you to find out. Not your duty, not by a long shot.” Who’s here? Who’s listening? Leave! All of you! Before she [i]makes[/i] you! ”I didn’t think the full details of that day were worth wide dissemination. Certainly not a concern to you.” 

Then, only then, does she face those big, unfairly precious eyes of yours. The one that stabs her through the heart. The one that lays her thoughts bare.

“...so. How. Exactly. Did you ‘see the whole thing?’”