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As Dariel ruffled her hair, Alja—for just a moment—was transfixed, snapping back to Kelly's childhood, with Elaine doing the same until she'd ducked away, embarrassed. Before Alja could do the same, Dariel pulled away, and she had to resist lightly touching her tousled hair. It was just so unexpected that she had no idea how to deal with it in the moment, but there was still a dim comfort tucked beneath her fading anger.

She listened as Dariel spoke. Listened, as he peeled away a bit of himself and showed her the adventurer that had been underneath him the entire time. As he told her of his history, of the time he'd spent before Pariah, she found herself wondering: he didn't seem like an NPC. So was he ever one? Now that the 'training wheels,' as they were, had been taken off, he seemed more real than he ever had as a generic tavern-keeper. He had a history. He had his own thoughts and opinions. And like she'd said, he had a [i]life of his own[/i]. Programming only went so far, could only be [i]so[/i] detailed. Something about it bothered her. Something about the way that Denizens had been speaking recently, all the history that underscored the world that had been Pariah. There was an idea building in her mind, something half-formed that she couldn't quite put her finger on. But it was there nonetheless.

She breathed out heavily. Her eyebrows lightened as she exhaled the frustration, leaving her a touch ashamed of how she'd acted. She'd done it again, just like with Rael after the Glitch. She'd lashed out. She needed to stop. She needed to help keep the group united, not wedge them further apart. A knife of [color=dc918e]self-loathing[/color] pierced into her, but she shoved it roughly aside. There was no time for that, no time to feel sorry for herself. There were more important things to deal with than her. She could [i]not[/i] snap at her friends like that again, no matter how frustrated she was. She was not [color=dc918e]Kelly[/color] now, nor could she afford to be. She was [color=d1fffc]Alja[/color], created from whole cloth to be the strong center of the group. She needed to [i]act[/i] like it.

"[color=d1fffc]I think we're all tryin' to keep goin' in our own way. But some are more shaken. They're afraid. [i]We're[/i] afraid. We [i]have[/i] lost that feelin' of invincibility. And we weren't prepared to watch friends die.[/color]" She smiled sadly, shaking her head a little bit. "[color=d1fffc]It must seem silly or downright absurd to you, the thought of adventurin' being a riskless endeavor. But that's what it's always been for us. We'll get there, but it's going to take time for us to adjust. Time that we don't have.[/color]" She brushed a strand of hair out of her face distractedly. They hadn't done enough. When she looked up, she couldn't meet Dariel's eyes.

"[color=d1fffc]We've failed all of you. [abbr=I'm sorry.]Tha mi duilich.[/abbr][/color]"