[color=silver][table][row][cell][center][img]https://i.imgur.com/uoLfw26.gif[/img][/center][/cell][cell][center][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/220330/d1319e730c2e74b9d4b093caaeb8ff73.png[/img][/center]
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x[/color][/cell][cell][center][img]https://i.imgur.com/NHC5yvJ.gif[/img][/center][/cell][/row][/table][hr][center][sup]An Emotional Roller Coaster Collab with [@LovelyComplex] & [@metanoia][/sup][/center]
[indent]After Natalia dropped Danny off a street away from his mark, the Belmonte boy, in his loose blouse, dress pants, and tie, found his way at the front door of the Castillo-Brady house, just like he was the previous night. Also in a nice outfit. The difference with the one he was wearing today versus the one he wore yesterday was it looked like Danny himself had a long day - he looked absolutely exhausted. 

If anything, Danny just wanted a nice escape from the chaos that was his family. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure his twin didn’t stalk him there, Danny glanced at the surrounding neighborhood. Taking a deep breath in and out, he smiled to himself when he realized the coast was clear.  

Okay. It was go-time. 

Taking a step forward, the only son of Taz brought his knuckles forward to the door before announcing his presence. 

[i]Knock, knock.[/i]  

[color=50c878]“I got it!”[/color] Colin called out, cursing every word in the colorful Irish Cursebook he could. 

Today wasn’t a good day for Colin’s third attempt to get a few hours of rest before he had work at 3am. To top it off, the bickering between his two youngest got to the point where he had to send them to a friend’s house to earn him some peace. He didn’t give two shits if it was late or not. He knew where they were and if they got into a bit of trouble, then that was going to be a bridge he’d cross whenever he saw it in the distance. What mattered to him was that they weren’t giving him [i]and[/i] his wife rotating migraines.

As he opened the door a bit too wildly that might’ve been necessary (blame it on his agitated state), Colin couldn’t see who was on the front porch. The light wasn’t on and, here’s a shocker, Colin forgot to turn on the light before he opened the door. Oh well.

[color=50c878]“Yeah, what the fuck ya want?”[/color]

[color=005d9e]“Uh, hi Mrs. Marlie, if you’re home… It’s Danny. Again.”[/color]

Colin’s eye twitched for a few moments. [color=50c878]“Sorry. I don’t think I heard you right. You lookin’ for my wife?”[/color] Colin reached forward, grabbing what he could, only to could deduce was the fabric of a shirt or jacket.  He yanked forward, pulling someone into his well-lit house. It was in Colin’s impulsive (and possibly jealousy-motivated) action that he had changed his tune almost immediately when he saw who it was and the face of someone who rightly was petrified or something in that neighborhood. [color=50c878]“Oh..Danny. Danny Belmonte..”[/color] Colin just registered the bit that went above his head. Danny was here. And, of course, he was here to see his wife. Why wouldn’t he be? 

Colin released his grip on Danny’s shirt almost immediately. [color=50c878]“Sorry ‘bout that, kiddo. I didn’t mean to yank you like that. It’s been a long ass day.--”[/color] Colin looked at the Italian boy and could tell he looked like he was going through something as well. [color=50c878]“Well, anyway. Marlena’s in the kitchen. Think she’s baking something or doing something there. I don’t fucking know, but she’s there.”[/color] Colin stepped to the side, closing the door behind Danny. 

Gaining his composure and trying his best to not be as shocked as he actually was, Danny rested his hand on his neck and greeted the father of his ex lover, [color=005d9e]“Sorry for coming in randomly Mr. Brady. I, uh, yeah. It’s been a long day… thanks.”[/color] After a moment or two of them staring at each other, Danny dismissed himself and made his way into the kitchen to see a warm sight. His body relaxed the moment he entered the room, feeling her loving spirit. Something he desperately needed right now. He smiled, [color=005d9e]“Hey, Mrs. Marlie.”[/color]

[color=f6989d]“Buenas noches, tesoro!”[/color]

The woman of the hour had been standing by the kitchen island, a black cherry print apron keeping her leopard print pajama set safe from any spills or stains. The smell of apples filled every corner of the Brady-Castillo kitchen, originating from the baked cake currently resting in front of Marlie. At the sight of her son’s friend, her usual warm, affectionate smile made its way to her lips. The brunette took a few steps towards Danny, gave him a hug and motioned for him to take one of the stools by the island. [color=f6989d]“I made an Irish apple cake for Marco and Colin, but the tres leches cake I made for Marce, Emil and I is in the fridge. Do you want me to cut you a piece?”[/color] 

[color=005d9e]“Yeah, sure. You know I can’t refuse your cooking. I’ll take the tres leches, please.”[/color] Danny smiled in response to Mama Marlie. Situating himself on a stool, he intertwined his fingers together and anxiously cracked his fingers. Was it rude for him to come announced? Likely. But maybe a conversation with his ex could help him feel better about what was happening in his household right now. 

Clearing his throat, Danny disclosed his feelings in a quiet manner, [color=005d9e]“Is… is Marco doing okay? Last night was… rough to say the least. I just want to make sure I didn’t-- I’m blabbering, sorry. Is he okay?”[/color]

As Marlie busied herself with retrieving the cake from the refrigerator, cutting and serving a piece for her guest, she pondered on how to answer Danny’s question. [color=f6989d]“I can always tell when there’s something weighing on Marco’s mind. Call it mother’s instinct, or something like that,”[/color] she smiled warmly, placing the plate and a spoon in front of the Italian boy. [color=f6989d]“He’s definitely been deep in thought a lot more frequently since last night. I’ve tried to get a straight answer, but he keeps insisting he’s fine. I know he’s not, but I also know Marco will come to me whenever he’s ready-- if he feels comfortable sharing whatever it is with me at all. He was out with Roddy and Rylie this morning at Lyon Park, [i]and[/i] he walked from there to Dolly’s all on his own, so maybe that helped him somewhat. But other than that, he’s been doing what he usually does: playing video games in his bedroom.”[/color]

[color=005d9e]“Ah, okay.”[/color] Danny anxiously watched Mama Marlie as she cut his cake and explained her perspective. [color=005d9e]“Has he had cake yet? I could bring him some?”[/color] This was the boy’s way of inadvertently showing he was worried about her son and hoping he could figure out what was bothering Marco, for the both of them. [color=005d9e]“I’d love to eat cake down here with you, but I also just want to check on him, you know? I don’t think he’ll talk if he was down here with us.”[/color] With his nervous tick, Danny’s hand was back resting on his neck. 

[color=f6989d]“You are absolutely correct,”[/color] Marlie concurred with Danny, pointing at him with the cake knife she’d been holding. [color=f6989d]“And because we both know he’s been waiting all day for this cake to be ready and hasn’t had a piece yet, you have the power of an offering on your side,”[/color] she joked as she grabbed another small plate from the cabinet, cut, served and passed the piece of apple cake to Danny. [color=f6989d]“Here you go, Danny: take this to Marco and tell him it’s from me. And [i]please[/i] tell him to be careful with the crumbs: I’ll be really upset if we get any ants or cockroaches coming in here,”[/color] she said sternly to the visitor, hoping he’d passed on the message. As much as Marlie strongly disliked her family members eating in their bedrooms (a silly mom thing), she was also aware of how exceptions could be made under the right circumstances. Tonight, of course, was one of these exceptions. 
[hr]
It was always on days when [url=https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/2385/1259/products/smpj2383-Mens-PJ.jpg?v=1564483906]Marco[/url] was at his lowest that he became lost in whatever distraction he chose. Since he got home from the park earlier this morning, the fact that it was going to be one of his last times being able to spend time with Rylie, to be able to have quality time spent with Roddy, he savored the minutes they spent waiting for their sandwiches being made. That time was divided between having laughs with Roddy as Marco made silly faces for his goddaughter. But Marco had to say goodbye a lot sooner than he would have liked. When he was dropped off at home, his ma asked him how his day was and he gave her a quick rundown about things and about Roddy leaving and how he was tired.

Part of that wasn’t a lie. He did take a nap for a couple of hours. He did eat some dinner, but there was a lot on his mind so he didn’t put down as much as he normally did, which he just knew had to worry his ma. So his distraction was something easy, fun, and that didn’t require a lot of thought. He tried to cover it up like he did this morning with a smile and keeping up the front that nothing was wrong, but the more time went by in the day, the less convincing Marco became.

Maybe that’s why he was held up in his room since six. After dinner, he just locked himself in his room, turned on his PS4, and played his go-to minimal-strategy-required game that, of course, was Kingdom Hearts III. He just got lost in the fun of combative Disney characters and let his mind wander. However, all it came to was what had been on his mind since roughly eighteen hours ago: Danny and what that conversation with Jill had done to him. 

But it wasn’t just that and the longer he thought about it, the more Marco made sense of his thoughts. What Jill said was an eye-opener and there was something that he never confronted. There was something that he never allowed himself to think about and maybe he had to? Maybe it was time?

And then every thought faded when Marco smelled something that made his stomach rumble and his lips water. [color=b8860b]“Is that Nana’s Apple Cake I smell?”[/color] It had to be. Marco knew that smell anywhere. He didn’t know what she put in it, but all he knew was that Ma’s take on it was just as good, if not better, than Nana’s.

Side note: he also smelled Tres Leches Cake and that was good, but his heart belonged to Apple Cake.

He took in a few sniffs, the aroma alone almost making him want to stop the nonsense he had been entertaining for the past hour, and grab him a slice or three.

[color=b8860b]“Actually you know what--”[/color]

As Marco paused his game and got up from his bed, grunting as he leaned the wrong way on his sore left leg, he heard his door creak open, seeing two things that made him feel more conflicted than he has in his entire life: a plate with a large slice of apple cake in one hand  and a glass of apple cider to wash it down in the other and Danny standing in his room.

[color=b8860b]“Danny..”[/color] For the first time in his life, Marco’s greeting to Danilo Belmonte, his ex, the guy that Jill said didn’t deserve Marco, wasn’t with a positive, Marco-smile, but a forced smile that was bullshit to people who knew him inside and out like Danny did. [color=b8860b]“I didn’t know you were here.”[/color] Out of habit, Marco straightened his disheveled hair. [color=b8860b]“When did you get here?”[/color] He asked, biting the inside of his cheek afterward.

Quietly, with his back, Danny closed the door behind him and gave a half smile, feeling the somber emotions his ex was battling simply by entering the room. [color=005d9e]“Not too long ago.”[/color] He ended up leaving his piece of cake behind because he didn’t have enough hands to bring Marco’s apple cake, his tres leche, ,and cider. So, he would simply live with the fact that he missed out on Mrs. Marlie’s cake. 

Danny stood by the door, not taking a step forward just yet, afraid to breach too close and push Marco away. [color=005d9e]“I wanted to check on you.”[/color] He cautioned before lifting the cake and cider up. [color=005d9e]“And see if you’re feeling alright. Last night was kind of heavy. And yeah, do you want this?”[/color] His eyes gestured to the cake and then back to Marco’s gaze. 

[color=b8860b]“Yeah..It was..”[/color] Marco half-smiled back at Danny, taking into account that him coming up here to his room meant he was really worried for him. It was only when he transitioned into the elephant in the room, that cake that was Marco’s favorite, did the former athlete prop up (so to speak) and turned that half smile into a full one. [color=b8860b]“Ya bet I do!”[/color] He took both from Danny, walking past his ex, and setting the cider down on his computer desk. He wasted no time and took a bite out of the cake and it was as scrumptious as it smelled.

And then he took another bite, washing it down with a quarter of the cider. In all of one minute, Danny had to bear witness to the sight of Marco chowing down and not sparing any shameless noises in the process. When his mouth was free of crumbly cake, Marco let out a low belch that he had mostly covered up with his wrist, and looked up at his ex. [color=b8860b]“Sorry..It’s just this is my favorite cake. Not every day that I get to eat a slice. Well, other than my birthday and random days when Ma feels like spoiling me.”[/color] Marco knew she knew something was up. Apple Cake was his top comfort food. Somehow he knew she suspected he wasn’t as great as he was letting on. [color=b8860b]“But, uh…”[/color] Marco’s train of thought went somewhere non-audible as he met his ex in his gaze, [color=b8860b]“I’m doing..better. Got to see Roddy and Rylie today. We had a couple sandwiches and spent some time together. So that was fun.”[/color]

[color=005d9e]“Mm, that’s great.”[/color] Danny stood at his post, processing everything he’s been through  today, from the baptism to the aftershow at his father’s house. [color=005d9e]“And I know. I know it’s your favorite cake. That’s all you ever wanted when we were…”[/color] He stopped himself, feeling the guilt returning, from when he was embracing his twin twenty minutes ago. [color=005d9e]“Your mom really knows how to bake.”[/color] He beamed at his ex, clearly diverting from his original train of thought. That was Danny’s main coping mechanism. Changing his thought process. [i]Fast[/i].  Marco knew it well. 

[color=b8860b]“Yeah, she really does.”[/color] Marco took a small bite, looking mostly down at his plate. Part of him, deep in the back of his mind, almost wanted Danny to finish his first thought. Or just something even remotely close to what he knew he was going to say. He didn’t have it in him right now to say it out loud. He made a gesture to look at Danny, seeing some little changes in how he stood. He didn’t know if it was the lingering effects of last night like it had been for him or if it was something else. He wanted to say something. Almost like he felt like he [i]had[/i] to. [color=b8860b]“How are you doing?”[/color]

[color=005d9e]“No. You’re not going to do this.”[/color] Stepping forward, deeper into Marco’s room, still cautiously, but with determination, Danny countered his question, [color=005d9e]“How are [i]you[/i] doing? Enough about me, Marco.”[/color]

[color=b8860b]“Not doing what?”[/color] He answered back, watching Danny ever so carefully as he came closer. [color=b8860b]“Am I not allowed to know how you’re doing?” [/color]

[color=005d9e]“Of course you are, but you’re deflecting. You’re always [i]deflecting[/i]. Let’s focus on you. Fuck me, okay?”[/color] At this point, Danny was in front of Marco kneeling down so they were staring at each other on the same level. The only son of Taz couldn’t take this coy game anymore. He wanted to know just how much he hurt Marco and he knew his ex was bottling his feelings up, like he usually did. [color=005d9e]“Tell me how you really feel. [i]Please[/i].”[/color]

Well that stung. 

Marco, of course, knew that he had the bad habit of using humor putting someone else’s needs over his to avoid talking about what was really bothering him. Danny knew this better than anyone, but he usually was a lot more…careful in how he phrased it, which only made him worry more that there was something wrong with him. Knowing Danny like he did, he also knew that when he was determined enough, he could get Marco to do whatever he wanted even if the latter didn’t want to.

He brought his blue-eyed gaze to Danny and took in a slow breath. [color=b8860b]“Well right now I feel uncomfortable because I don’t know what you want me  to say.”[/color] A nervous chuckle came from his mouth.

Danilo closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, and then out, before opening it once more and whispering, [color=005d9e]“I want you to be honest with me.”[/color] Picking himself up, he sat next to Marco at his bedside and continued, [color=005d9e]“I want you to tell me what is bothering you. It started last night. I know it did, because if it didn’t I would’ve felt it when you stopped me at the Godmother. I just need to know, Marco. I need to know why you wanted me back in your life when I’ve been nothing but a bad thing?”[/color] Danny interlocked his fingers and looked down at his feet. He moved his right leg up and down, waiting. 

[color=b8860b]“But that’s not--”[/color] He felt himself get choked up. It wasn’t about how he was feeling or what he felt (though thoughts from earlier in the day started to creep back in). [color=b8860b]“You haven’t been…”[/color] His heart was pounding like crazy. This conversation, the way Danny was speaking, how he thought he was a bad thing in his life  -- that simply wasn’t true. Marco never thought -- [i]or do I?[/i]

The weight of everything: those thoughts that plagued him since last night, memories of a time he never liked to think about, and now Danny being here. Marco tried to find a breathing rhythm, but much like a tsunami crashing against the shore, so did the memories and emotions that were tied to the most painful time in his life. He had to stand up, he had to-- [color=b8860b]“It’s nothing like that, Danny. It’s not--”[/color]

[color=005d9e]“STOP DEFLECTING!”[/color] Danilo turned his body towards Marco to look at him, as he barked those words loudly. He grabbed the plate and fork from Marco’s hands and put it aside, on the nightstand, wanting this conversation to be about them and not the leftover apple cake. 

[color=b8860b]“I’m not…”[/color]

He couldn’t even finish that thought because he knew Danny was right. He was always right whenever it came to him. Danny knew Marco better than most did. The only person who knew him better was the one who baked the piece of cake that was out of reach, which made what he couldn’t stop thinking about hurt even more. It hurt the day it happened, when he was laying in that hospital bed. It hurt in the weeks that followed into his recovery and PT. It hurt for over a year. That realization that Marco kept buried under a lock and key that the one person he ever wanted to see during that dark time was forcing him into a corner he didn’t want to be in.

[color=b8860b]“I promise I’m not trying to purposely deflect. It’s just…”[/color] He tried to control his breathing again. His heart was pumping out of control and emotions that he normally had a handle on came through as every inhale and exhale came with a wave of heartbreak and sadness that begged to be released. [color=b8860b]“I just..”[/color] He looked at his ex, eyes watery and puffy from the overwhelming emotions he was currently experiencing. [color=b8860b]“Why didn’t you ever visit me? I mean, when I was shot and in the hospital. I know a lot was happening around then, but during the entire time I was there after my surgery and I recovered, you never came to visit.”[/color] He wanted to reach out to grab his hand, but didn’t. [color=b8860b]“I just want to know why. You didn’t even have to visit as my--”[/color] His voice started to crack, so he coughed and shook his head, [color=b8860b]“--as my ex. You could have just came as my friend. Everyone who would’ve seen wouldn’t have thought nothing of it. But you never did…”[/color] He looked down into his hands and watched them shake and all he could do was smile.  

[color=005d9e]“On prom night, when you saw me with a girl latching onto me. I told you, did you really think you’d have me the whole night?”[/color] Danny tightened his grip on himself, his hands grasping onto one another. [color=005d9e]“Those were the last words I said to you and then all that was left were glances.”[/color] The speed in his leg going up and down picked up, as the Italian boy got lost in thought. [color=005d9e]“I came back from camp to find out.. you, Rye, Natalia, Elisabetta, and Sofia could’ve died. Hell, Sofi was found in the same field as you.”[/color]

While his breathing was composed, Danny could feel the build up, the need to cry, to explode, to scream. Standing up, hoping it settled things stirring inside of him, Danny began to anxiously walk around. [color=005d9e]“I could’ve visited, you’re right. But what would that have accomplished?”[/color] He faced Marco once more, his eyes drooping with sadness. [color=005d9e]“I broke your heart, Marco. And I continue to do so. You and me? We were never meant to be.”[/color]

[color=b8860b]“[sub]Don’t say that…[/sub]”[/color] Under the umbrella of his emotions, his voice was quiet and weak, like he was on that day. He was right about how he broke his heart, but he recovered. Everything that happened, no matter sad or, at a low point during that year, angry he got, he always managed to see the brightside to every thought that went through his head. Every day he spent in that bed, during PT, being at home, he always kept trying to see the brightside. He may have lost part of his light when he was told he may not be able to play soccer/football anymore, he always tried to find some glimmer of hope in it all.

It was Danny. As sad and pathetic as it sounds and as much as it didn’t make any sense to anyone but Marco, knowing and having Danny in his life in whatever way made him smile. It gave him some hope to latch onto. And maybe that was why he followed him that day and why he was at the Godmother’s.

[color=b8860b]“You say it wouldn’t have accomplished anything, but how do you know that for sure?”[/color] He balled his fists in his lap, not giving into his emotions. [color=b8860b]“How do you know a simple visit wouldn’t have done anything? To hell with how many times you broke my heart. I--”[/color] He took in a deep inhale and exhale, trying to center himself but it wasn’t working, so Marco threw caution into the wind, -- [color=b8860b]“You’re right, Danny. I almost [i][b]DIED![/b][/i] You could have lost me! Hell, a part of me [i]did[/i] die when I got shot. Every hope and dream I ever had of going pro went out of the window when Charlie shot me. But you still could have came and visited me as my [I]FRIEND[/I]! You could have…”[/color] He slammed his balled fists into his lap a couple of times, looking down as he did so.[color=b8860b]“I..it just felt like I didn’t matter to you anymore. Not until that day at Godmother’s…”[/color] Tears dropped into his lap.

[color=005d9e]“And that’s why…”[/color] Back on the bed, Danny grabbed his ex’s fists, holding it in his hands. He leaned in and deeply kissed it, before saying his final piece, [color=005d9e]“...That’s why I don’t deserve you.”[/color] Glancing up at Marco, the best thing he’s ever had in his life, Danny tenderly rested his hand on his beloved’s cheek, [color=005d9e]“You deserve the world and more. Right now, I’m not that.”[/color]

With the closure he needed to hear, Danny leaned in, bringing his face inches away from the confused and angry Marco, resting his forehead against his, [color=005d9e]“One day, you’ll find the person that gives you everything you deserve and more… I--”[/color] He pulled away, inches away, looking intensely into Marco’s eyes, [color=005d9e]“--I hope one day you find the happiness you deserve, Marco Castillo-Brady. I really did love you and I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you needed me to be.”[/color]

And for the first time, in a long time, Danny felt a couple of tears fall down his cheeks. Immediately, rather impulsively, he jerked away, ashamed of his tears. Building distance from his ex, from bed to the exit door, Danny wiped some of the tears away, in hopes to gain his strength back, [color=005d9e]“I think I should go.”[/color] 

When Danny pulled away, Marco’s heart felt like it started to break all over again. Every emotion he had been bottling up, every thought that consumed him in every free moment he had in the past year, every aching of the heart that came around when he allowed himself to think even remotely about those dark moments spent in that hospital bed -- all of it came to the surface, unable to be hidden behind a smile or a stuttering speech. Danny being so close to him, so close that Marco almost kissed him and then he pulled away, he leaned forward to grab his ex’s hand, but only found the isolated comfort of his carpet floor. Again, his leg proved to be the crutch that hindered everything in his life that even remotely mattered. 

As he kept his eyes down on the ground, overwhelmed with everything, he forced himself to speak. [color=b8860b]“Don’t do this..Not now, Danny.”[/color] As he started to weep, the tears flowing, cracked voice and rapid inhale and exhales, the terror of what was happening had started to sink in. [color=b8860b]“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…I’m sorry for last night--”[/color]

[color=005d9e]“Stop it…”[/color] Danny stood in a deadlock. His legs were unable to move closer to the door which was his escape. His escape from the truth. [color=005d9e][i]Why… why are you apologizing?[/i][/color] [color=005d9e]“Stop it, please.”[/color] Taking a deep gulp in, not aiming to throw sharp words to hurt the wound even deeply, Danny turned to his ex, absolutely devastated, [color=005d9e]“You’re so fearless. You know that right?”[/color]  

He wiped his face again, feeling it get more wet by the minute. Shit, was he actually crying? [color=005d9e]“I need you to let me go, Marco. You have nothing to be sorry about. All you did was talk to me, when I was scared shitless to even look at you.”[/color] Clenching his teeth, feeling the ache deeper than he thought it could go, he begged, [color=005d9e]“You need to let me go so I can be a better man.”[/color]

Somewhere deep down, past all of the hurt and anguish, Marco knew his ex was right. He knew everything that Danny had said since he asked the question he had been dying to know the answer to was absolutely correct. Maybe he didn’t want to accept it and even as he was on the floor, he didn’t want this to be, part of him knew Danny was right. Even still, he didn’t want to accept it. He [i]couldn’t[/i] accept it because not having Danny in his life, regardless what form their relationship took at any given moment, was something far worse than anything Charlie Decker ever did to him. No amount of his career aspirations, loss of his former athletic self, or the constant joy he oozed prior to the shooting -- none of it compared to being without Danny Belmonte in his life.

[color=b8860b]“I’m not fearless. You might think that because it’s who you saw, but I’m not. And If I am it’s because you gave me the strength to…”[/color] Marco’s voice was weak and still ridden with emotion, but he still managed to speak only through a strength that Danny gave him. [color=b8860b]“I’m not like Emil or Marcy. They have the strength to be their unapologetic selves, meanwhile their older brother can barely even get around the town. Everyone takes pity of me because of my leg. You never did. Since Godmother, even if it was only a short time, I haven’t been this happy in a really long time.”[/color]

Tears kept flowing down Marco’s face and he tried to find the high road in this, tried to find the brightside to this like he always did for every situation. Whether it was with Roddy and Rylie leaving or being there for Jill or even the shooting. He always saw brightsides and the light at the end of the tunnel in every situation. But this time, all Marco saw was darkness. There was no hope at the end of this tunnel he and Danny were in because this was the end of it. 

[color=b8860b]“I don’t want to lose you, but I also don’t want to be the reason you can’t be at your best. I…love you so much, Danny. I love you so much it hurts and I’m not sure who I am without you…”[/color]

[color=005d9e][i]Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.[/i][/color] 

Danilo internalized the curse word his mother would be completely ashamed of. Tonight wasn’t the best for keeping a clean mouth. He wasn’t raised to use curse words by default and yet, all he could think of was the word ‘fuck’. Shyly, and like an equally lost deer, Danny tried to speak completely and utterly from the heart. No false pretense. [color=005d9e]“Do you…”[/color] He hesitated asking the question in his mind because he knew it would be a hard route for them to go together. His father was old fashioned and ever since his mother was bed ridden it was like walking on a field of landmines. 

[color=005d9e]“Do you think we c-could do it together? I-I don’t know what I’m doing.”[/color] It hit him like a truck and he placed his hand on his chest. He was terrified of the consequences of dating a guy but saying goodbye for good? To the person that made him better? That was scarier than his father. Danny felt like he was losing a piece of himself. A half of him. He no longer had purpose. He gave up on basketball and now all he did was take care of his family. Like clockwork, he worked at Palermo, went to family events, and did what everyone told him to do. He was a good son. He did what he was supposed to do. He was a good son. 

Covering  his face, finally the tears falling uncontrollably, Danny dropped to his knees. Why wasn’t he good enough? Why couldn’t he be what other’s needed? Why did he hurt people? Jill. Natalia. Marco. His dad. He wasn’t good. He would never be good. [color=005d9e]“My mom is dying and I feel like I’m losing myself more and more each day.”[/color]

He wasn’t sure what had just happened. Just a moment ago, as much as it was hurting him, Marco had mentally forced himself to prepare for a life without Danny because he said he needed it. But now…there was something vastly different in the air. He found himself crawling closer to Danny, not thinking about anything else that didn’t involve comforting Danny. He did that as he took Danny into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping as tightly around the boy he has loved for years. 

[color=b8860b]“You won’t lose me,”[/color] Marco whispered as he just held Danny close.  [color=b8860b]“I’m so sorry about your mom and I wish I could make that pain go away, but listen to me, Danny…”[/color] Marco lifted Danny’s chin, looking into his eyes.  [color=b8860b]“If you ever feel like you are losing any part of yourself, lean on me just as I have leaned on you. We’ll be each other’s rock, okay?”[/color] Marco rested his forehead against Danny’s, tears flowing down his face. 

This was happening. He was embracing the monster inside of himself his father may never accept. After hearing Vivia’s display and getting Natalia’s comfort, after all these years, Danny realized he couldn’t do this alone. He needed someone and his someone was right here, in his arms. 

Running one of his hands through his ex’s hair and the other pulling him close, Danny apologized for all the wrong he’s ever done to him, [color=005d9e]“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t have enough courage to keep you at my side. To see you. To be with you.”[/color] He pulled slightly away so he could look into Marco’s eyes, gorgeous blue eyes, his everything, [color=005d9e]“I wanted to protect you… I still will. I promise you, from now on, no matter the highs and lows, I’m yours and I’ll fight for you. I will become the man you deserve. I- I need you, Marco. I missed you so fucking much.”[/color]
 
Marco smiled at Danny, he smiled at the love of his life. He wasn’t sure what he’d need protecting from, but that didn’t matter. Whatever came their way, at least Marco knew he wouldn’t do it alone. [color=b8860b]“You always were. I knew it then and I know it now. You’ve always been the one for me, Danilo Belmonte.”[/color] He returned Danny’s gaze, locking onto those green eyes that always filled him with a joy and security that nothing or nobody could ever match or rival. [color=b8860b]“You will always have me.”[/color]

Losing all self-control, Danny let the ever-bright flame burning inside of him pull Marco in and passionately, sincerely, kiss him in the moment, letting their chemistry do the talking. Holding Marco in a tight, desperate embrace he found himself bringing him to the floor. Hovering over him, Danny prayed this wasn’t the worst mistake he could make. He wanted, no, he needed Marco and he was tired of pretending. His body wanted him and even if he never found all the pieces to make him complete, and he stood shattered because of his family, he could say, [color=005d9e]“I have you and my heart is yours to break… I love you.”[/color] From this point on his primal desire took control, as he slipped his hand inside his lover’s Spider-Man pajama pants. [/indent][/color]