A muffled pounding on the door caused Jane to stir under the mountain of blankets she was in, and she blurted out a ‘come in’ before fully becoming lucid. As expected, Austin sat at the end of her bed, his face still a bit twisted since the last they spoke.

“Jared keeps calling the landline. Think you could talk to him?” He refused to meet her eyes and it caused a deep pang in Jane’s chest.

“Oh, yeah sorry,” she mumbled, rubbing her face. “I’ll call him in a few.”

“Thanks, and look, J, I’m -“

“Save it. You were right….are right, whatever.” 

Austin breathed a sigh of relief, finally looking at her. “Thanks for growing up.”

Jane rolled her eyes, threw a pillow at him, and before she knew, they were chuckling together as he left. “Writing in an hour if you’re up for it.”

“I’ll be there,” she replied sternly. “I just don’t know how useful I’ll be with these pills they have me on.”

“Eh, I think it’ll be fine.”

The door clicked shut, and Jane’s fingers worked feverishly on her phone until Jared was unblocked and the line was trilling. Her nails subconsciously made their way to her mouth, but she stopped herself, shaking her head at the habit she thought she quit. Anxiety vibrated through her.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” she sighed. “I uh, blocked you when I left.”

Jared was silent for a few moments until responding. “They said you were okay, but I needed to hear your voice.”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” she laughed nervously. “Just embarrassed.”

“I’m so sorry for pressuring you, I just wanted things to be the way they were.” Remorse was obviously in his voice, and Jane found it harder and harder to stay mad.

“It’s okay. I just, I realized I’m not as ready for things as I thought…and, and…” Tears started coming, and she knew she wasn’t doing a great job at hiding it.

“Oh, babe I’m so sorry. Look, why don’t we go out with Rob and A? Let me just take you out on a date, you don’t even have to touch me. We can-“

“Jared?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not ready for that either.”

Jared sighed. “Okay, okay….are we good at least?”

If she was honest, Jane would say no. She’d tell him spending a night and waking up in her ex-boyfriend’s bed made her realize that her heart still hasn’t let go and that it’s possible she never would. But, being honest with herself was a start.

“Yes,” Jane responded through a forced smile. “We’re good. I’ll uh, I’ll text you soon yeah?”

“Alright, babe. Speak soon.”

[center]***[/center]

After a quick waft of mascara and a shower, Jane ventured down to the basement where Rob was. And none of the others yet. [i]Fuck[/i].

She stayed as near to the walls as possible until eventually sitting across from Rob, her face on fire with embarrassment. She’d prepared an apology, explaining she was on medication and that going into his room, no matter how lovely it was, was just a mistake.

But when she met his eyes, per usual, she crumbled.

“Hi,” she greeted him meekly. She felt her smile growing too wide, so she started flipping through her notebook until she could breath again. “I, uh. I wanted to say sorry to you, I mean all of you, I -“

[i]Breathe, Jane.[/i]

“I’ve been…distracted. But, I-I just wanted to tell you guys that I’m focused and ready to get In Bloom back on track. And I’m sorry if I’ve been weird, it’s just a lot.”

See, not so hard. 

Austin and Sam’s footsteps thundered down the stairs, breaking the momentary silence, and Jane offered a small smile to Rob then looked to Austin. Sam’s distaste for her would be another project for another day.

“Ready to make some music?”