[center][img]https://i.postimg.cc/WbB6nZmm/373e0ca06a44ee67c49939abb2f77c34.png[/img][hr][h2][color=#EDC700]A Place Undeserved[/color][/h2][/center][hr]

Julian had expected... well, to be honest, she wasn't sure what sort of answer she had anticipated. Regardless, she'd made her position quite clear and had rejected his challenge in no uncertain terms, so while things would probably be rough between them for a while, maybe she had hoped that he'd at least think twice before pushing his luck? No, of course not. Obviously, he'd be mad -- maybe he'd grow angry and yell at her, or perhaps he'd even strike her for her insolence. This might have been an environment where they were both "equal" in a sense as fellow cadets, but even in this place, he was a noble and one of her commanding officers, and she was just another individual under his command. She hadn't the presence of mind to choose her words carefully, and so she'd no doubt have to face the consequences of her disrespect. Even so, she wasn't going to back down, even if he actually [i]did[/i] decide to take a swing at her. She'd used every ounce of her cunning and given the utmost effort to take back her life. She couldn't afford to stumble now at the very second step.

...And yet, of all the various outcomes she had expected, his silence came as a complete surprise to her. He just... [i]stared[/i] at her, and said nothing. His eyes were filled with the kind of hatred and contempt she'd long since grown accustomed to seeing -- as if he was looking at something beyond worthless -- but he didn't spit at her or throw a punch or deride her any further. He just stared in silence, then turned to leave the room. Yet, as he stepped past her, looming all-too-close due to the room's cramped nature...

[color=ed1c24]"You will duel me one of these days, Julian Baker. Not for the noble ideal of honor, or because it's the just thing to do: you've already proven to me that those are not qualities you possess. I think you will duel me when you are ready to learn [i]if you ever deserved to be here.[/i]"[/color]

In a way, those quiet words hurt more than the punch she'd been expecting -- not because they were [i]right,[/i] but because they weren't [i]wrong[/i] either. She understood that he'd been wronged, and knew that her own actions were far from those of the storybook heroes she had idolized throughout her childhood. But if she could recognize her own dishonorable conduct and the unfair nature of Nathaniel's own situation, yet refused to rectify either, she supposed it was really no different than not caring in the first place. Even so... what was she supposed to do? If she failed here, where else could she even go to try again? This might have been a matter of pride for him, but it was a matter of life and death for her!

But even if she'd wanted to say as much, there was no way she could. After all, even if she did get cast aside and lose everything again, was there even anybody who'd take her side? It was unfair, unreasonable, unbearable -- but that was just the way things were, and this whole situation was her own fault to begin with. Even if she was hated, did she even have the right to be angry? Regardless of what she said or did, and regardless of what happened to her, the "justice" and "honor" of the nobility would never be on her side. But even so, she couldn't bring herself to let go of such things either. That was precisely why she couldn't deny his words.

[i][color=#EDC700]What is there to learn? I already know better than anyone what I deserve. I already...[/color][/i]

While the others gathered in the common room, Julian simply stayed put. She didn't hang her head, or gnash her teeth, or clench her fists in rage. But even so... she felt like it would be a mistake to let anyone see her face right now. She wasn't sure what kind of expression she was making, and that kind of scared her. It wouldn't do to show her squadmates an unsightly face, so for the time being... even if she was still unbearably hungry, she'd already waited this long. She could wait just a little longer, until she could find a way to smile again.