She wants it to be about her. Wants it to be [i]for [/i]her. But of course it isn't.

She understands why it isn't. She gets it - she knew it. This is Mirror's vision. This is about more than how she relates to any person. This is about how she relates to the entire world. This is the razor sharp unraveling of the laws of beauty, as defined by lords and ladies in Capital spires. This is not charting a path through the wilds, this is the first launch into the black. No wonder she is so disconnected from the world - her reason for being here is to show it how it might reach [i]her[/i]. How can a heart that exists in that perfect place reach back here to turn girls into stars and angels?

She wants it to be for her. Not because she wants Mirror's undivided attention, not because she wants to steal the wings from angels. She wants it to be for her because then she could comprehend it, measure herself by it - one day match it. It would be a battle she could fight while still being herself. Because in her case it [i]was [/i]all for Mirror. She couldn't see that brighter world. She didn't have a heaven to embody or fight for. She was a girl from the steppe and her idea of glory for a long time had been a roof that would not blow away in the godswind. And then, when she had at last discovered something worth fighting for, it had been the act of fighting. It had been riding a screaming divine machine at the edge of thought and consciousness - no, that wasn't right. It hadn't been that she was fighting, she'd been fighting for most of her life in one form or another. It had been...

It was impossible! The feeling was impossible! She wanted to drag Mirror down to her level, to engage her so intensely that there was no room for the dream of a brighter world - but it was that very dream that transfixed her, made her wish that it was her who was going to be made beautiful in that way. She wants to have a dream of her own that she could fight Mirror's with, a motivation that would make their battle a true clash of ideals. She wants Mirror's dream to be for her because she can't think of anything better. Doesn't want anything different. Can't compete with it. Wants to steal it. Lacks imagination. [i]Mrrgh[/i].

She can't beat her. She has to beat her. She's impossible. You defeated her before. How do I show her that I'm better? How do I show her that I'm listening? 

Ever since their first battle, Solarel had felt the curious sensation that she was Mirror's reflection. Her shadow. Her lesser. A perfect copy who lacked something essential. This entire fucking thought process was sign enough of that. Mirror was dreaming of a perfect world and all Solarel could dream of was Mirror, Mirror, [i]Mirror[/i]! 

It was all so frustrating that she just wanted to put a shell the size of a tank through a mech the size of a building. She'd figure it out if it killed her.