[quote=@Pirouette]
Woah. Collab. 

So I was going to consider waiting until I got home to write this on discord but I have a moment now and I want to get it off my chest.

I am considering dropping out of this RP. There are a few reasons. I just have like no connection with my character. I’m just not able to find a fun way to write as Ysilla. I would be fine to keep trying, however…

I am missing [i]a lot[/i] by not being able to be on discord. I didn’t even know there was a collab going for the Desert crew and there are only so many ways I can write “Ysilla sat in silence listening to everyone” before it gets boring. 

I have full intentions to at least see the end of the Desert mission but if I can’t find any muse then I’ll work a way to write Ysilla out. 

Definitely a “it’s not you, it’s me” thing.
[/quote]

At times, I'm really active on discord and it's a fun experience. However, there are also times were IRL stuff keeps me busy and I'm too tired to try to go through the backlog (which can be hundreds of messages) to understand what people have talked about that might be related to the RP, since there's a lot of random banter as well. 

I've also found it hard at times to write Carmillia. She's supposed to calculative, smart and in control and I can honestly say it hasn't really been going that smoothly for that concept due to interactions with others. There's a disconnect between her design and the actual execution to her in the roleplay.

So, I feel you. I really do, lol.

As for me, I'm still here because of various reasons.

#1: I often post late in the cycle so Carmillia is often left with a similar scenario to [i]“Ysilla sat in silence listening to everyone.”[/i] The responsibility of acknowledging other posts and trying mesh them together also falls on the person posting late/last in the cycle. I was originally frustrated by this but decided to look at it from another angle and see it as a challenge. This made it a lot more enjoyable for me.

#2: Acknowledging the FOMO. No one wants to miss out. In fact, a lot of us would rather not be involved at all as opposed to taking part but feeling like we're not getting the whole experience. I decided to stop worrying about what banter others are making or cool lore/idea generations that happen when I'm not around and instead focus on what I was [i]actually experiencing[/i] when I was involved. And I realized I liked what I took part it.

#3: FnF. Anyone who's been on this site long enough, especially those from before guildfall, know that it's a huge pain in the fucking ass to find a roleplay that continues. FnF has shown he's pretty damned dedicated to ensuring it continues as well as constantly building on the lore. He pushes for posts and helps make it easier when things slow down. Even after the bulk of our original starting cast dropped, he kept it going. For me, it's nice to know that the time I'm investing into my posts and character won't just turn to dust because others flake since I know this RP will continue onwards. It's been five months and THO is still going strong and the payoff from the investment is definitely a nice feeling.

I hope you don't give up!