He frowns.

“The...Tides were there, of course. But they did not advocate for one side or the other. The Secretary showed great favor to my decision, though, and made it abundantly clear he harbored no doubts about it.”

This was the first time since he’d seen her that she’d smiled and meant it. Asking for a glimpse of the crew, calling for her head on a spear.

He reaches for the tea, at last. The Coherent have been conscientious enough to place it somewhere he doesn’t need to brace himself, or ask for help to reach. The same cannot be said of the sugar and cream, placed close enough that one might scoop it up without wasting a step on their way to adjust Bella’s tea again. He takes a long, slow sip at his tea. And waits a thoughtful few moments longer, before quietly asking for someone to pass them over.

Tea is a thinking drink. It will not do to be pulled out of his thoughts to wince at the taste. 

He holds his cup, carefully, with both hands, staring long into its cream-clouded depths. He nods to himself, so slight that one might miss it, or else lifts his cup for another sip. Lost in thought, lost in memory. Around them, the clatter of the stage crew fills the air with an uncomfortable tension. The sound of halfhearted activity. Accomplishing nothing except the unsteady interruption of silence.

At last, he shakes his head. “No. No, that is not how I run this ship. I asked my crew for advice, not a debate. Decisions that important shouldn’t be decided by who’s the most skilled at speaking, or how loud a faction makes their case. Your fate was tied in with the fate of so many others on this ship, they deserved to have their say, and have it be heard, without condition. But in the end, it was nobody’s decision but my own.”

He goes for another sip of tea. Pauses. A war, in his shaking hand, over the last few inches. Discomfort. Exhaustion. A chair that doesn’t fit. Legs that don’t work. Long nights, spent alone. Weighed against a collar. Fixed to the neck of a servitor, on a dead monster far, far away.

Carefully, he sets the teacup back down.

“...I don’t know what difference it makes for you,” he adds. And truly, he doesn’t. “But the overwhelming majority of those who spoke, spoke in your favor.”