[quote=@Aqutanama] I did look at all the current character's abilities. Most have multiple functions from what I could see. So, I'm unsure what I can and cannot do. Edit done. [hider=greed] Name: Val Greed Sex: Male Age: 13 Height: 5’9” Max Height 6’6” (When he is older) Weight: 90 lbs Max Weight: 250 lbs (When he is older) Hair Style: Long hair down past his waist Hair color: Brown Right Eye Color: Brown Left Eye Color: Blue (Covered by an eyepatch) Child Genius Grade: 1st year Biography: Some say that great power has a great cost. Either that or one trains in order to gain said power. Val lost his world. Some would probably think that being reborn in another world would be great. However, that was not the case for Val. He was trying to make a breakthrough that would change the galaxy and the future! Fate, coincidence, bad luck, bad timing. These were all things that people would blame. He was happy with his research! Something had to go wrong to get to where he is now, right? His family were the leaders of quantum computing, engineering, physics, mechanics and theory. Of course, this was in his past life. In that life and this one he would be considered a genius. However, in his previous life he was messing with black holes, while relying on the quantum field, he fell into one. Well, his ship did. Time seemed to stretch as did his ship and his very being. This seemed to happen for what seemed like thousands of years. This drove the poor once young man insane. Yes, for some reason he was still alive during the process. Eventually, his insanity faded. Everything became one within the event and everything became clear. His sanity was restored and somehow his consciousness survived the process. What people would call a soul, spirit, mind walking… Well, whatever it was he was doing it. However, when he emerged from the singularity he was in another dimension, realm, or point in space. It is possible that the years he experienced really happened on a galactic scale. Either that or he exited another black hole. There was the theory that black holes are linked. He didn’t have time to process his thoughts as he noticed a strange blob coming towards him. Then a dark being appeared and grabbed him. When he woke up he was in a new body. Had a new family. Things were different yet he understood what was happening. Val’s life was simple. He was born into a wealthy family. Some suspect that they are of a long lost royal line. Others speculate that they came from a demi-god family heritage. Both or neither could be true. That aside, Val knew enough about his realm and hoped that he could use it to his advantage here. However, the more he tried to access the memories the more they seemed to fade. Due to this, he spent most of his time when he was a baby learning the language as well as anything else he could. Speaking the language was a lot harder than the written and writing. It is possible it was because he already knew twenty other languages from his original life, or did he? That isn’t to say that the language was hard to learn, just harder than the reading and written versions of the language. Once he was able to walk he was training. Be it his body, his mind, or his powers. Somehow he had gained gifts. They reminded him of his time within the black hole, however, they were different. He trained under heightened gravity fields due to his power. Weights were not needed as they could damage his body. He tried to keep up a constant field around himself in order to maximize his training. Eventually, he would get used to the weight. Every time he did he would multiply it. Mind you he has had this ability since he was born. Therefore, using it since he was a baby would be possible. However, the multiples were so small that others wouldn’t notice. It was doing something for his body though. He would remove the fields when someone he loved was nearby. This gave him some time to recuperate and didn’t allow him to hurt others. He couldn’t recall why but family was something important to him. Because of his training his body transcends the normal limitations of his species. A few things he can do due to this is flight, jumping really far quickly, running really fast, and taking hits from things that would kill someone. He tried training his mind by getting invested in Magi-tech. However, he started to get plagued by nightmares and stopped. (Caused by a majority of the deities getting bored of his research) Which was sad because he seemed to have a knack for it. Perhaps sometime in the future he can pick it up again. Powers: Core Ability: Singularity Transcendence Val survived within a black hole for thousands if not tens of thousands of years. Due to this The Goddess of Chaos took pity on him and bestowed a blessing and curse upon him. Singularity Transcendence has forked abilities based on the Black Hole and quantum. Manipulation of gravity, portals, time, and space. Telekinesis due to the manipulation of gravity fields. Black hole space is a special space that only he has access to. However, he has yet to unlock most of these abilities. This is probably due to the Goddess of Chaos wanting to see what he can do with one of the abilities. Furthermore, these abilities seem to have several levels. This ability was bestowed by the Goddess of Chaos Unlocked: Gravity Control Basic (Growth) He can manipulate gravity within 2 meters. The force that can be applied can go up to 5 times the planet's normal gravity. This ability was unlocked or allowed by the Goddess of Chaos Gravity Training Growth(Progression available within story) While growing up he trained under the highest influence of gravity control he has. Big Family: His family is wealthy. Thus, he has no concerns over needing money. "I'm rich." would be an understatement. Flaws: Unstable Mind: Weakness Val survived within a black hole for thousands if not tens of thousands of years. Due to this he went insane and regained his sanity over and over throughout the years. Due to this his mind is a weak shattered scattered mess. He is weak against mind influencing abilities. Memory Leak: When he tries to recall his past life his mind forgets the memories that he tries to recall. Because of this he has to think of the future and not dwell on who he was. That person is gone, for now. Entertainment for the Divine: The Deities can “tune in” and watch him every now and again. The Goddess of Chaos set up a voting system in order for him to unlock his abilities. However, there is also a down vote system. This causes the Goddess to send “bad things” his way. Some of the bad things are nightmares of his previous life, chaos creatures that hunt him and don’t let him sleep. Even if he slept he would have nightmares. Growing Pains Due to the limitations of his small form, training as he does, causes his body to have intense cramps. These can usually keep him up at night. He has to stretch and massage the area. Usually his calves, feet, neck, and back. Stretching and massaging the area can give relief. Furthermore, eating the correct foods can as well. People of interest Family [/hider] [/quote] Okay, so, how best to put this...? I guess the problem we're running into is expectations of scale? You're doing two things wrong either individually or together. A: You either make the powers they do have absurdly broad in capability and sheer power, or... B: You try to spread out his specializations to much. You try to grab too many powers and refuse to commit to a theme. For example: [b][i]"Because of his training his body transcends the normal limitations of his species. A few things he can do due to this is flight, jumping really far quickly, running really fast, and taking hits from things that would kill someone."[/i][/b] This bullshit right here is one of the biggest annoyances. You can't slide extra powers in solely through the background. You need to have them actually take up a power slot. If it allows them to perform superhuman feats, then it's a power and needs to count towards your total, regardless of anything else. You can't just slap it in the background as an offhand mention and pretend like that works. And another thing, I'd mentioned it before, but without a specific Gift/Power for it, Dragon Ball training doesn't work in this setting. He can only get regular human child abilities out of that sort of gravity training, not Dragon Ball power. Humans in this setting only get power from either Gods or magic, and the capacity for magic doesn't provide that sort of passive "anime training" enhancement to humans. Bottom line, humans are stuck with IRL Earth Human limits on their physical abilities without a specific power for it. So if you want "Dragon Ball Training: the power", [i]literally make it full power[/i]. That's the only way this gets allowed. Oh, and it should be noted, but in the past version of this RP, "super-genius" also counted as a power against the total. That said, this time, I hesitate to say it, but you actually overcompensated in the [i]opposite[/i] direction this time with the main powers. When I referred to "flaws" for his powers, I meant actual flaws for the powers themselves, not crippling the character mentally as some sort of "compensation". Honestly, unless you really like the idea, you can just scrap the mental afflictions. So, let's go through what we have left. Let me try and give you a hand here. So, I'll strip everything down to what you want and show some options, even do a bit of helpful rewording here and there. Firstly, removed the totally pointless flaws for now, so...: [i][b]Big Family: His family is wealthy. Thus, he has no concerns over needing money. "I'm rich." would be an understatement.[/b][/i] This really isn't a power, just a passive. You should have left this in his background and put the feckin' Dragon Ball training bullshit in his power section. [b][i]Core Ability: Singularity Transcendence, the Divine Entertainment Val survived within a black hole for thousands if not tens of thousands of years. Due to this The Goddess of Chaos took pity on him and bestowed a blessing and curse upon him. Singularity Transcendence has forked abilities based on the Black Hole and quantum. Manipulation of gravity, portals, time, and space. Telekinesis due to the manipulation of gravity fields. Black hole space is a special space that only he has access to. However, he has yet to unlock most of these abilities. This is probably due to the Goddess of Chaos wanting to see what he can do with one of the abilities. Furthermore, these abilities seem to have several levels. The Deities can “tune in” and watch him every now and again. The Goddess of Chaos set up a voting system in order for him to unlock his abilities. However, there is also a down vote system. This causes the Goddess to send “bad things” his way. Some of the bad things are nightmares of his previous life, chaos creatures that hunt him and don’t let him sleep. Even if he slept he would have nightmares.[/i][/b] There was no real need for the "divine watchers" aspect to be kept separate from this ability, so I combined them. Far less confusion. They're literally directly connected, so I dunno why it wasn't this way before. [b][i]Sub-Power 1 - Gravity Control: Basic (Growth) He can manipulate gravity within 2 meters of himself. The force that can be applied can go up to 5 times the planet's normal gravity. Alternatively, he can do the reverse and lower gravity in the area around him, inducing a moon-walk zone of effect. This power can be utilized long term as a makeshift training tool, and over time, it is expected that it may grow stronger after sufficiently entertaining the gods. This ability was unlocked or allowed by the Goddess of Chaos[/i][/b] Okay, this looks okay overall. Just added a little tweak that I think would make this more viable and encourage creative use. After trimming the fat, it's been broadly summarized down to a single actual Core ability and one Sub power. Time to fill up those empty slots. [b][i]Sub-Power 2 - Artificer of the Stars: Raised in his past life by a family known to be foremost in the arts of quantum computing, engineering, physics, mechanics and theory, Val is (at least in this area of study) what can only be described as a super-genius and technological savant. To compare his potential to the likes of Tony Stark might not be far off. However, there's just a couple small issues. Firstly, this new world simply lacks the bleeding-edge high-tech industry to access the advancements rolling through his mind. He'll need to build the tools to make the tools first, but once that's done? Well, the world is his oyster. A second notable caveat is that this knowledge is purely science-based. His world had no magic. As such, he is a rank amateur in the mystic side of tech, and magitech is completely outside his area of expertise or proper comprehension at this time, especially given that he can't even cast magic.[/i][/b] With this, you now have an actual verbalization of his technological marvel creation capacity. The reason this "power" works, despite clashing with his "theme" is that it's based entirely on High-Mundane capabilities, something that anyone could learn in theory. I could go on, but suffice it to say: "It just works." And, with this version keeping magitech shut out of Val's grasp (for now), he won't innately infringe on the domains of all the other crafters that do use magic in turn. [b][i]Sub-Power 3 - Apex Humanity: One of the first powers granted to him by the Goddess of Chaos to keep his reckless ass from accidentally murdering himself as a child through ignorance and excessive gravity power usage on an undeveloped, infant body. Anything a regular human can do, he can do better, assuming he's put in the same amount of effort. His constitution is highly robust, making illnesses and some poisons less effective on him and letting him endure harm and keep fighting with the kind of grit an anime protagonist would only thumbs-up at. He can run as fast as a peak human, despite being merely a child. His strength carries the weight of a trained martial artist behind it, despite receiving no formal training. His agility and hand-eye coordination make him a master of parkour and deflecting or using thrown projectiles. His 5 senses are practically bestial in how refined they are. The natural human limiters on his body are released, allowing him to manually utilize 100% percent of his actual strength instead of 60% in an emergency... at the cost of inflicting self-damage on his muscules from the strain. That aside, a further effect of these broken limiters is that he is no longer constrained by the normal human maximum in terms of physical refinement. While his feats aren't quite outright superhuman compared to a peak human yet, given his young age, as he grows and continues to train, he will rapidly come to surpass the best of humanity's natural stock, solidly stepping into a realm only other Gifts can challenge... But such things are for the future...[/i][/b] Just saying this now, but he's not reasonably getting flight out of this last power. He'll need to earn the ability to do that with his gravity powers. And besides, given his weight manipulation, he should be able to just make himself lighter instead of heavier and do super-leaps right out the gate. It's not flight, but it's still pretty good and provides a shitton of mobility till he can actually fly. Also, I've now provided reasonable context behind why the Goddess would actually give him this last power. Quite simply, he was being a dumbass and assuming his new world worked on anime logic... when it didn't. So, she saved his life before he could become a complete waste of her time and attention. So, yeah, that about covers the major alterations I see that could be implemented. Hope this helps.