Hi, I just want some feedback on the second draft of my prologue. I tried asking r/writers and I’m convinced most people there don’t write (and couldn’t follow instructions sadly) but people here do (obviously lol). 

What I’d like to know after you finish reading:

- Any overall notes you have; keeping in mind that I know what my story is and what my world is and don’t need suggestions to add dragons or ninjas lol.

- Describe what you think the setting is. What year would you put it IRL and such? 

- What do you think about the dialogue? Keeping also in mind that I follow Brandon Sanderson’s suggestion to not use a bunch of different synonyms for “said” in dialogue tags. 

- If you had read this at the beginning of a novel, would you read chapter one or put it back on the shelf? 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/10-oD7YL4yyd0xXRaIKe1qbcsiE6IiFWxJdcdWoE6jpQ/edit